Regions of My Heart
by the-dramatic-harmonica
Summary: After Regionals. Jesse St. James isn't supposed  to feel this way. Not about Rachel Berry. Not to the point of deferring a year of University to make it up to her and get her back from Finn. Whatever it takes.   A story of St. Berry and Puck/Quinn also.
1. Loathing, Unadulterated Loathing

I am not the genius behind Glee. I own no part of it or the characters or the actors. I thank them and offer this story!

Oh and I'll miss JGroff from Glee ( tear!)

ENJOY, please let me know if you like it! St. Berry rocks

* * *

Rachel bobbed around the music section of the library with a broad smile, selecting duets in almost every aisle. She couldn't get Finn out of her head from the night before and though they had lost regionals and had been terrified of losing the glee club 2 days ago, everything had somehow mended itself, expect for the _jesse thing_, but she didn't let herself think about that. She and Finn were finally a couple, and a working one this time. Yesterday had been filled with walking along the pier, watching an old movie together ( while her two dads were upstairs) and making out that made her blush in the library. She grabbed sheet music for Quando Quando Quando and spun happily towards the musicals section. Sheet music stared back at her, as she stood in the dimly lit aisle, scanning the titles.

"Hey" A husky voice breathed behind her as she grabbed Guys and Dolls. She glanced to her left and emerging from the shadows of book stacks, was Jesse St James. Her expression of happiness dropped instantly.

"Congratulations" she breathed, caked with insincerity.

"You don't mean it." he paused, choosing his next words "You sang beautifully, best in New Direction's performance" he replied back, leaning against the book stacks and looking at the collection of music in her arms.

"Well I don't care what you think anymore" she snapped and his chocolate eyes lost their dangerous twinkle.

"I need to explain"

"I don't want to hear it" she responded

"But I owe you an explanation" he whispered back, stressing the _owe._

"You're right, you do but it doesn't matter anymore"

"Why not?"

"I'm with Finn now" she said matter-of-factly. "You should go" she responded, snatching West Side Story and putting it on top of her pile of sheet music.

"I think that's a little out of his range" Jesse responded and her expression turned sour.

"At least hell give it a try"

"Ten minutes" he pleaded, his eyes mirroring deep sadness

"You're a great actor, I even think you care right now" she snapped back, spinning away from him. She stepped away from him.

"Shelby asked me to do it" He spoke softly and she stopped in her tracks, spinning around.

"She couldn't legally contact you herself, but she knew she needed to meet you. She asked me to befriend you" he explained, wondering if her could ever get her back.

"Why'd you do it?" Rachel asked, clutching the sheet music to her chest, to protect her heart, one he'd already broken before.

"I thought it was a good-" he breathed deeply, the pause heavy. His eyes grew in sadness, knowing the pain she would feel at his next words. "acting assignment"

"Well you pulled it off perfectly" she responded bitterly, knowing he could see the tears form in her eyes.

"I started to like you, _really_ like you. I didn't want to see you get hurt"

"I don't really believe that, Jesse" she whispered back, wiping her eye quickly before a tear fell.

"You, if anyone knows that this is how they all start, the romantic comedies, the dramas, the misfortunate Shakespearean romances, all with deceit. Then when he gets a chance, the hero-"

"You're hardly the hero" she interrupted. He continued without missing a beat.

"The hero can't hurt the girl, he can't, even though he's supposed to, even though he was meant to all along. But when she finds out even a part of it was a lie, not how he felt, but how it all began, then they fall apart. But they always come back together in the end" his theatre-referenced logic brought a pain to her stomach, but she tried to ignore it.

"You're not the hero" she repeated "You're the guy that stands in the way, the villain" she responded.

"Look, I know I hurt you and I know you're with Finn now. It's as it should be. But I was only told to befriend you and get you to find Shelby. That's it"

"Then why did you lie! Why did you join our glee club and then not just betray me, but everyone here?" she begged, trying not the let her emotions show, but it was futile.

"Because I let myself fall for you!" he responded, his voice rising with passion. "I wasn't supposed to, I had to rejoin Vocal Adrenaline once you'd met Shelby. I had to"

"You didn't, if you loved me like you say you did, you didn't have to"

"Do I think I had a choice?" he asked, so truthfully it scared her. "I did what I was supposed to, I had to return. It was supposed to be simple"

"But it wasn't?"

"It was so complicated Rachel. I wasn't supposed to" he breathed in deep, preparing himself "Feel about you the way I did, it made it harder"

"But you still did it" she shot back

"You never loved me" he snapped back

"I gave you my heart"

"You were in love with Finn, so I left"

"So you did choose to leave!" she countered

"What do you expect, You think I wanted this? I didn't know it would happen, I didn't know I'd get so caught up in you that it would hurt to leave, but you were too in love with Finn to every truly give yourself to me or our relationship. Ya, I hurt you. I'm sorry, I really am. But I'm not perfect. "

"No you're not. and you're not perfect for me. Finn and I love each other, I'm glad I know everything, but I can't forgive you Jesse, you know I can't" she shot out of the aisle, leaving him in darkness, stooping in his thoughts. She dashed through the library, straight to the counter, trying to hold back the tears that begged to surge forward and out of her.

"That all?" the librarian asked and she nodded hastily, grabbing the music the instant she could and rushing out of the library.

She met Finn outside, they had been planning to meet at 2 30, but she had arrived early to check out the musical section herself ahead of time. Her conversation with Jesse had taken longer than expected and the time had snuck up on her, with Finn already waiting outside.

"Hey Rach, I thought you said 2 30?" he asked, as she bustled past him. "Rachel, is everything ok?" he asked and she shook her head, as if it was a simple

"Ya it's fine. I just came early to select some music and I saw the Moulin Rogue music, it just gets me every time. I think I have enough, wanna grab some food?" she asked and he nodded, his doe-eyed expression at her bustling self. He chalked it up to drama and took her waist in his arm, leading her away from the library. Jesse watched from the stacks of music and leaned against the wall again. Wondering why he even cared anymore. He hated this. He had been set to leave Ohio, very very soon. And Now he was stuck here, all because he was craving, missing and yearning for Rachel Berry, even with all her drama.

* * *

"So" Puck started, running his hair through his Mohawk before hitting "start" on his game controller. "Well I'm gonna whip you in Call of Duty"

"sure man" Finn replied, his eyes peeled to the screen.

"So this is good, right?" Puck asked, not wanting to get sentimental, but glad to have his friend back.

"Ya, we're getting there" Finn responded and Puck nodded, beating him easily.

"Rematch" Finn demanded and Puck clicked the 'start' button again.

"So how is everything?" he asked, not that he really cared.

"Good, Rachel and I are really good. It's sweet. And it's summer so I have nothing else to worry about, you know?" Finn replied, clicking the buttons as fast as he could.

"Sweet" Puck responded "took you long enough"

"What about you" Finn responded

"Santana and I are officially done, she dumped me again, something about my credit scores and financial need. "

"Well, you'll have the cougars with the pool cleaning right?" Finn joked and Puck shook his head.

"No man, I'm not even allowed this summer" he retorted

"What do you mean allowed?"

"Are you kidding? Quinn would kill me"

"What the hell man!" Finn asked, standing up and dropping his control to the floor. Puck won before looking up at him.

"You said we were cool"

"But you're dating Quinn now? For real? It's not like it's going to last man" Finn responded, his anger raging.

"So what if it doesn't, it's still happening for the summer. Deal with it"

"Doesn't mean you can start dating her!" Finn fought back and Puck shook his head.

"You do have Rachel and everything, I thought i'd be fine"

"Well its not"

"Fine"

"I was stupid for thinking things would change. We're not 'good' Puck. I'm going home"

"Fine, I'm too much of a stud to hang out with you anyway!" Puck shouted back as Finn left his house. He heard the door slam but paid no attention, slaying at Call of Duty still.

* * *

"And then Roxie Hart and I Dreamed a Dream" Rachel rambled on. Finn forked his crepe and stared at the banana glazed in Nutella with a sullen expression.

"Finn?" Rachel asked, her normal bubbly self.

"ya, what?" He asked, waking from the dream and looking at her. He smiled lightly, but she could still tell something was up.

"What's going on? Is my speech about my favorite Broadway songs boring? It's really important to know what you like in regards to Broadway." she instructed

"No, it's cool" he breathed deep "just a lot on my mind" he lied.

"Like what? I mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend now, you're supposed to talk to me" she offered an insecure smile.

"Ya well" he looked around the busy food court of the mall. "It's just Puck"

"I thought you and Noah were trying to friends again?" she asked.

"Ya we were, but he's messed that up"

"Why what happened?"

"Well He's dating Quinn now" he answered and she bit her lip.

"And you care"

"Well its just,I don't care Rachel. But I don't want to think about it or see it or whatever" He forked the banana and brought it to his mouth.

"So it's bugging you" she asked

"Rach, It's not like I'm jealous" he offered.

"Right, but you and Noah aren't friends now, because of it? So it's obviously a big deal Finn"

"Rachel"

"You know, I'm gonna grab a soda and take a walk through the Musicals section in the video store. I'll meet you back in a half hour ok?" She offered a sad smile and got up hastily, leaving him. He stared after her, anger flushing to his face, but he still couldn't help caring about Quinn and Puck.

"Boo?" Jesse St. James came up behind Rachel and whispered. She spun around, flushed with anger and shock.

"What, are you stalking me now?" She scolded and he smiled lightly, she was so dramatic. He happened to be buying the recent movie version of Rent, to practice his favorite songs and also because he hoped to see the new production in August in Los Angeles, if he would be out of Ohio by then.

"Only the biggest stars get stalked" he responded lightly and she knit her brows in frustration.

"Leave me alone Jesse" she scolded and he picked up on her tone.

"Everything ok in paradise?" he asked, sly.

"I don't want to talk to you" she snapped back, evasive. She moved past him, heading towards the C section of Musicals.

"Finn having trouble hitting that high C?" he asked lightly, following her without a second beat.

"Just back off, Jesse" she snapped back and he grabbed her wrist. She spun around to face him.

"Let go" she asked, but she didn't seem like she really minded.

"I thought we talked. I thought you understood" he whispered and she shook her head.

"I listened, but I didn't forgive you Jesse, I won't" she snapped, tugging her arm lightly, but not pulling out of his yet.

"I wish you would" he responded deeply, his chocolate eyes pouring into hers. She stared at them, her breathing slowing and then she shocked herself back to reality. She tugged her arm quickly away and moved feet away from him.

"It's not going to happen" she responded "I'm sorry." He smiled lightly and nodded.

"I get it" he offered lightly. "But you know, If you do want to talk, you can talk to me" he offered and she nodded.

"As I appreciate that offer, you know I won't pick you up on it. I can share everything with my boyfriend now. Unlike you, he's not a liar" She snapped, dashing out of the aisle before he could say another word. He walked over to R, picked up the copy of Rent he wanted, glanced over his shoulder to see her retreating figure and headed to the cash desk to pay.

* * *

"Hey Finn" Puck's deep voice called from behind him and Rachel and Finn spun around in the movie ticket line to see Puck and Quinn a few people behind them. They were going to see Get Him To the Greek- per Finn's request.

"What movie are you guys seeing?" Puck tried again, the people in between them in the line slightly annoyed at him yelling past them.

"Leave us alone Puck" Finn hollered back then forced a smile to Rachel.

"It's totally fine, I don't care ok?" He asked and she nodded uneasily.

"So I guess you told him" they heard Quinn say to Puck from behind them. The people in between them in the line decided against the movie and floated out of the line. Puck and Quinn were right behind them now.

"I wish there was more than one movie theatre in this stupid town" Finn muttered annoyed.

"We can go do something else" Rachel offered, but last night they had been discussing their plans for this Friday and a movie had seemed to be the only possibility.

"It's fine" Finn breathed, clearly anything but fine. It brought up bad memories, feelings of stupidity, of not seeing it, of being completely and utterly betrayed and lost in anger. He didn't want to return to that place, he wanted to be in the moment, happy with Rachel, but he couldn't help remembering Quinn and Puck's betrayal with them standing right behind him.

"We should see the movie you want to see" Finn offered, though he had no want to see 'Joan Rivers- A Piece of Work'."

"No, It's ok" Rachel shook her head. She dashed in front of him.

"Two for get him to the greek" she announced and the lady at the ticket booth handed her the tickets. Finn forked over a 20 and slipped it through the slot.

"Enjoy the show" the sullen woman expressed and Rachel beamed in response.

"Thank you, we will" She added, grabbing Finn by the arm and dragging him towards the concession.

"Popcorn?" Finn asked Rachel, trying to avoid Puck's gaze.

"Sure" Rachel responded, watching his expression.

"Two tickets" Puck called back at the ticket office and paid the 20.

Quinn linked in his arm and they walked towards the concession. Quinn shook her head, as in to say no for popcorn and he nodded.

"Want a drink though?" He asked

"Ok" she responded. He pulled away from her and got in line between Finn.

"Hey Noah" Rachel waved lightly and Finn looked at her.

"What?" she asked, whispering to him "I'm not going to pretend I don't know them" she whispered.

"Whatever" Finn responded, sullen and walked towards the counter. "Popcorn, reesse and two large cokes" he commanded and the guy behind nodded, preparing the order.

"you said you didn't care" Rachel whispered lightly.

"Rachel, not here" Finn asked and she shook her head.

"Fine, Finn" she responded, walking away from him towards the cinema.

"I'll find us seats" she answered, heading up the stairs to their theatre.

"Harsh man" Puck commented behind him.

"Just shut up Puck" Finn responded bitterly.

"What's your problem Finn?" Puck responded

"Nothing" He snapped back, grabbing the food. He spun around angrily to face Puck.

"You know, you could've warned me"

"You knew this would happen, bro" Puck responded

"Whatever, if we were friends again, you should've told me"

"I did. Besides stop caring so much and pay attention to your girlfriend" Puck snapped back, looking at the guy at the counter with a menacing look. he was sure he'd beaten him up last week.

"My girl wants a sprite and I'll get a twix" He commanded and the scared geek nodded, quickly getting the order. Finn heard Puck talking as he left, running up the stairs. He met Rachel at the top and didn't know that she had heard the whole exchange.

"Forgot my ticket" she confessed and he nodded, handing her the drink and popcorn.

"Everything ok?" she asked, trying to maintain her bubbly self.

"Ya" was all Finn offered back.

Finn sat beside her in the darkness, but it might as well be that there was no one there. He didn't reach out and touch her hand like he would in usual circumstances and the movie was not her taste, so she tried to submerge herself in it, but it was useless. Her eyes glanced at him every minute, but he seemed in his thoughts.

"Are you ok?" she whispered lightly.

"what?" he asked, breaking out of his daze.

"What's wrong?" she asked lightly and he shook his head.

"Nothing" he lied.

"you're a terrible liar" she responded lightly.

"Rachel?" he asked, looking at her in shock.

"What do you expect? Me to be ok that you're jealous?"

"I told you, I'm not jealous-" he began, shushing raising up in the cinema around them.

"Whatever" Rachel responded bitterly, she got up.

"Where are you going?" he asked, outraged but trying to keep his voice down.

"the washroom and I'm surprised you noticed" she snapped dramatically and he heard the click of her heels as she walked down the aisle and out of the cinema. He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated.

She dried her eyes in the washroom. Only a few tears had fallen, it was just so ridiculous and futile and the whole thing she felt could be avoided, she was just frustrated.

"Hey" Quinn announced herself, coming out of a stall. She had been there the whole time and came out to see Rachel wiping her eyes.

"Hey Quinn" Rachel commented. She didn't like the girl, but she would still acknowledge that she was there.

"Everything ok?" Quinn asked, but it didn't seem genuine.

"It's fine" rachel admitted, embarrassed.

"I know I'm not one to give out relationship advice" Quinn began grabbing a lip gloss from her purse and applying a layer of silk goo that tasted like strawberry. She pursed her lips and continued. "But you got to stick up for yourself" Quinn finished. She smiled at herself in the mirror, adjusting her hair and redoing her ponytail. Rachel didn't have to think hard to guess what they were doing during their movie.

"I mean having a kid really teaches you that" Quinn murmured more to herself. "But you have to take care of yourself and your body. You can't just expect people to do stuff for you" Quinn noted and flashed her a half-genuine smile before exiting the restroom.

Rachel sat back down beside Finn in the darkness and reached for his hand. He seemed to be barely there still, but she held on anyway. It could be worse. She could always be at home crying her eyes out. He loved her, she reminded herself, even if he did still have jealous notions towards Quinn.

"Sorry" She uttered, though she didn't think she needed to apologize first.

"Its fine" he replied and she pulled her hand away from his. Now she was definitely annoyed, as hard as she tried not to be. Not another word was spoken during the show and they exited the cinema with two feet between them as they walked back through the concession. They saw in the parking lot- Puck and Quinn. Puck leaned against his car, laughing brilliantly. His teeth shone in the moonlight and he grabbed Quinn around the waist, she emitted a small shriek and laughed. They couldn't hear their words, but Rachel watched Finn as he stared at the couple. Puck held Quinn against him as he leaned back on the car and silence grew between them. She straightened up, pressing her lips against his. Finn watched in anger. They pulled away what seemed like forever later and Quinn laughed again, shrieking a "stop" as Puck tried to tickle her. She got into the other side of the car and the engine started in a moment. Rachel and Finn had not spoken words. The silence was defining to her as she watched his reaction. She turned away hastily, bitter.

"Just take me home" she broke the silence, not masking the bitterness in her tone.

"Wait, are you mad at me?" he asked, doe eyed.

"Finn, I don't want to fight" she answered, tired.

"Well just tell me what's going on"

"I don't think you'd pay attention unless I'm Quinn" she snapped.

"that's not fair, I was just-"

"-staring? I get it Finn. It's fine, just take me home"

"Look it's not like I want to be with her ok, I just don't want to see them together. It reminds me of what she did" he snapped in a confession. She looked at him sadly.

"It's been months Finn" was all she said, walking ahead of him to his car.

She slammed the car door, wanting to get away. She walked towards her house briskly, not looking back at Finn. She heard his car pulling away and opened the door to her house. She pounded up the stairs, not bothering to stay downstairs and chat with her dads. She threw her pillow on her bed frustrated. She wanted to cry, or sing, or something. She stared at her phone, waiting for him to call. Well, he had to get home first, she thought to herself. She grabbed her original recording of WICKED and put on "What is this feeling" imagining every "loathing" line was sung to Quinn. She sat on her bed, 20 minutes later, staring at her phone.

"COME ON FINN!" she screamed at it.

"Everything ok, pumpkin?" one of her dad's called up the stairs.

"Fine!" she hollered back, filling the gold star glass she got from Shelby with water. She was thirsty, or upset, or something. The house phone and she picked it up hastily. It was for her dad. She threw the phone onto her bed and sat at her chair frustrated, the soundtrack of Wicked still blasting "What is this feeling". Shuffle turned Defying Gravity onto the next song and she listened to it, reciting the beginning without making any noise. She grabbed her cell phone angrily. She typed "So though I can't imagine how

I hope you're happy right now" and scrolled down to Jesse's name. Before another thought left her mind she clicked send. She stared at her phone in shock for what she had done. She couldn't believe what she had done.

"NO!" she screamed silently, looking at the little animation that declared "message sent". She shook her head and tossed her phone onto her bed. It was late, on a friday. Maybe he wouldn't respond.


	2. Those Summer Nights

Jesse St James clicked pause on Rent and stood up from his bed. Taking his time, he turned on the light and breathed deep, checking the time in his digital red neon clock on his dresser. He picked his phone up from the dresser and shut the light off, slumping back down onto the bed and resuming the movie on his laptop, barely paying attention to his phone. He waited 5 minutes, the movie capturing his attention and then he glanced down at his phone, clicking the regular keys and looked down to read the message, expecting something from a vocal adrenaline mate, instead of who it was. Shock surfaced immediately. He paused the movie, sitting up hastily. He glanced and reread the message, sure his eyes were deceiving him. He jumped back up, switching on the light and rereading the message again. He was sure it was her, 100% percent and finally let a smile engulf his face.

Rachel looked out of her hands at the electronic beeping of her phone. She picked it up hastily, assuring herself that it was Finn. Unfortunately, a message from Jesse stared back at her.

"I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy, too"

It read. She growled loudly, hiding her face in her hands. But it was fine, she just wouldn't text back, maybe it would go away. Still she couldn't help but love that he texted back a lyric from the same song as her. She placed her phone on her dresser, shut off Wicked on her stereo and took the empty glass down to the kitchen. She returned moments later with a full glass of water. She checked the phone, no new messages, from Jesse or Finn. She looked back at Jesse's message, about to delete it, when much to her surprise, she typed a message and hit send.

He had paused Rent effectively and stared at his phone, waiting for a response, though he didn't know if she would send one. His face lit up with a smile as the familiar tone played.

"I'm through with playing by the

rules of someone else's game"

the message read. He had been so keen on watching Rent, but now it was the last thing from his mind. he was affectively and disturbingly so, distracted. he didn't want to spook her, he wanted to keep talking to her and choose his message, taking some time. He could imagine her sitting on her bed, probably dreading the message and yet still, waiting for the response.

"Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep"

He typed, adding a PS "Hey, is everything ok?" it asked kindly. He glanced at the message again and clicked send, pleased with it. He didn't even resume play on Rent, just waited for her response, hopefully there would be one.

Rachel stared at her phone, not able to help the smile that appeared upon reading his 'ps'. She smiled lightly to herself, then forced the smile off. "just a rough night" she texted back, hoping he didn't ask for details. Not a second later ( she could imagine him worrying over her messages and she was ashamed to think that it brought her joy) he texted back a genuine remark.

"I hope it gets better" his response said and she smiled to herself. She typed 'thanks' and sent it before she knew what had happened. A second later, another text from him. She was beyond thinking about Finn calling and was happily texting Jesse.

"Of course" his response began, then continued "what are you up to anyway?" it asked, not too personal, not asking what went wrong. She would hate to divulge her relationship drama with Jesse of all people.

"Not too much, just listening to Wicked, you?" she texted back, unable to stop her fingers and the smile that appeared each time she heard the message beep.

"That much I figured" his message read, then continued "I'm just watching Rent"

"Is that why you were at the video shop the other day?" he text read back and he smiled at the memory, more at the fact that she remembered the specifics of the meeting.

"Yup" he responded "Practicing my Roger" he replied and could imagine her smile at the comment. The conversation hit a lull. He cursed himself for not asking a question with his last text, but didn't want to be too pushy and send another one. he waited at his phone hopeful, wondering if their short exchange was done for the evening, but he smiled when his phone beeped, alerting him at her response.

"You're more of a Mark" her text read and he smiled at the reference.

"I'm expanding my choices" the first part of his text read and then followed "but everything IS ok with you, right?"

She could sense his caring tone and how it did slay her. She didn't want him to be nice, it was so much easier to hate him if he wasn't. He had been horrible to her, but his logical explanation only made him seem ok through it all. She cursed herself. She better stop talking to him, she noted.

"I'm great" she responded "Finn just apologized, we're fine. I'm going to bed" she texted back and then shut off her phone hastily so she didn't have to deal with his texting, if he did reply.

He stared at the message in shock, a quiet jealousy mustering over him. Finn. How he HATED the tone deaf monkey of a guy. He knew nothing of show biz, nothing and he didn't deserve Rachel. Jesse wasn't sure that _he, himself_ did, but he would make himself worthy of her, even if he had to defer a semester to do it.

"Good, you deserve someone who appreciates you. Good night" he texted back.

She turned her phone back on,_ what if Finn actually did call_, was her reasoning and the message from Jesse stared back at her. She put her phone on her dresser frustrated and now wondering how she felt about Jesse. The lie about Finn burned deep and she secretly wondered if it made Jesse jealous, she hoped it did, but wouldn't admit that to herself, not yet.

* * *

Finn called her two days later, apologizing deeply and she could tell in his tone that he really was sorry. He asked to make it up to her, to go see the movie she wanted, but she said she'd rather stay at home and watch Rent with him. "Really, another musical?" had been his response, but he had gone on to say "no, thats fine, whatever you want" just to make her happy. He arrived at 8 pm, with some microwaveable popcorn and a drink. They sat in the living room on the couch, her dads upstairs. He put his arm around her during the movie and they watched it without any words.

"I'm sorry, again" he said, saying good bye to her at the door. He kissed her and then pulled away smiling.

"The fair is coming next week, want to go?" he asked and she nodded.

"We going to dinner tomorrow?" he asked and she shook her head.

"My dads are taking me to that new karaoke bar. Family time" she commented and he nodded. They kissed again and then she watched his retreating figure to the car.

* * *

They picked an empty table and sat down.

"We expect you to do us proud, Rachel" one of her fathers said and she nodded.

"I"m going to grab a soda first" she offered, getting up from the round table and heading towards the concession. She spun around when she heard a voice singing on stage. 'no way' she almost said aloud and then stared in shock as Jesse St James sang "Vienna Waits for You" perfectly on stage. She made eye contact and then spun around hurriedly, hoping he hadn't seen her.

The song finished and Jesse jumped off the stage, heading towards Rachel.

"Hey" he breathed, trying to seem casual, he failed.

"Jesse" she commented "Interesting choice of song" she commented and he nodded, leaning against the concession counter in front of her, forcing her to look at him.

"Any better ideas?" he asked and she moved past him, ordering a sprite.

"No" she commented, she needed to resist talking to him.

"Did Finn apologize?" he asked and she looked at him shocked.

"I told you, every thing's fine"

"Then why isn't he here?" he asked "His singing not up to par?"

"No. He's fine, stop mocking his singing. Just family time, I should get back to it"

"If you need a partner for a duet, you know I'm here" he commented, touching her wrist lightly before breezing past her back to his seat. He sat with a few other vocal adrenaline mates, all guys and went back into a conversation perfectly, then she realized that she was staring at him and he probably felt it. He knew if he had walked away, she would stare after him and it had worked. She spun away from looking at him suddenly, snatching her sprite off the counter and placing down the exact change. She walked back to her seat, resisting the urge to look over at his table.

"Do you have anything from musicals?" she asked the woman upon the stage, trying hard not to look at the spotlight shining on her, or Jesse staring at her from his seat.

"Chicago, Cats, Grease, Rent, West Side Story" the woman responded and Rachel nodded,feeling Jesse's eyes still on her. She felt like saying Rent, but resisted the impulse, Jesse's eyes still fixed on hers, and she knew it wasn't because she was on stage.

"Grease?" she asked,which the woman.

"Just the duets"

"What?" Rachel asked

"Summer Nights or You're the one that I want"

Rachel cringed at the choice. She didn't want either. She glanced down to Jesse for a split second. He leapt up at the eye contact and was already taking off his jacket. The decision was made without her. She breathed deep, for some reason not denying the option to sing with him. She did miss his voice, after all, but that's all she would admit to missing, for now.

"Summer Nights I guess'" Rachel breathed, cringing at the idea of singing with him, it was how she had fallen for him anyway.

He dashed up to the stage with a smile.

"Inspired?" he asked, teasing and she wanted to wipe that smile off.

"Just sing" she responded bitterly and he smiled at her, unable to hold off.

"You make a cute pair" the woman commented, before the music began. Jesse laughed at the comment, but Rachel just sighed, glancing down at her dads. She had to look everywhere but Jesse, and especially avoid those eyes of his.

"I didn't invite you" she muttered under her breath, but she just as well had, she had glanced at him when choosing the song and he would of course leap to the opportunity.

"Shh, I'm focusing" he responded back, a light teasing smile on his lips. How she wanted to wipe it off, and yet loved it at the same time. No, she told herself not to look at him and glanced at her dads, smiling brilliantly as the song began.

He took her hand in hers and she spun around to face him, singing. Their eyes met as he sang his first verse. He sang to her, staring in to her eyes the whole time, never breaking his gaze or missing a note. His body moving to the music. She tried not to stare at him, but couldn't look away, trapped in the song and the way his voice made her stomach churn. Their eyes locked for the whole song, as if they were in the only ones in the room, singing. Not paying attention to the world beyond the stage lights.

At the end of the song they were a foot away from each other, his hand still holding hers. His deep chocolate eyes poured into hers. She wanted to pull him into a kiss and was so lost in the moment she didn't even register the thought as wrong. Her lips parted, as if to say something, maybe a 'good job' or a kiss, but he couldn't imagine the latter being true. He wanted to wrap her into his arms so badly it was almost hurting him, but he was so happy singing with her on stage. This is how it should always be, he thought. He inched his face closer, smiling to her, his eyes still glued to hers.

Applause erupted from the audience, breaking the moment. She broke the gaze with him and drew her hand away. She flushed red with the idea of kissing him, Finn popping into her mind instantly. She shook her head to clear her mind of Jesse and his voice. She sauntered off the stage, heading towards the concession before she had another moment to think under the spotlight.

He followed her quickly, catching up effortlessly.

"Rachel you were fantastic" he complimented, she spun around to face him, clearly not amused.

"What was that Jesse?" she demanded

"I just got really into the song. You didn't let go..."

"I have a boyfriend"

"I know that" he responded "I didn't do anything wrong Rachel" he added and she hated how he was right.

"You're just trying to get me back and you're holding my hand and singing to me and staring at me-"

"I'm not trying to get you back. I get that you're with Finn. I know that. " He said, he sounded bitter, almost jealous she noted.

"Then why do you keep contacting me and following me!" She countered, not wanting to admit she liked the attention, even if she was still mad at him.

He paused a moment before replying.

"I can't stand you to be mad at me" he confessed.

"And holding my hand?"

"is that a crime? We're stars Rachel, you can't expect me not to get into the role"

"Just back off" she responded "I'm with Finn and I can't forgive you."

"You texted me" he countered, a certain tinge of weakness in his voice, hope.

"That was a mistake, excuse me" she walked past him to her table and left him feeling utterly defeated. She couldn't help but watch as he headed back to his table. He put on his jacket, waved to his buddies. He glanced at her and she didn't look away in time, their gaze met. He offered a sad smile and then left the karaoke bar. She felt the pain of her words and almost wanted to text an apology but thought better of it. She thought of telling Finn that night, but thought it be better if they avoided the obvious conflict since their last fight was so recent. She would tell him soon she reasoned, there was no reason to lie since there were no feelings for Jesse, none that she would admit anyway.

* * *

"How was Karaoke?" Finn asked the next day. They sat in her room, she was flipping though sheet music as he fingered her library of books.

"Fine" she commented, her eyes flashing to her phone that was closer to him than to her. She needed to delete those messages from Jesse, she knew in case Finn ever borrowed or saw her phone, but at the same time, then it would seem as if she had something to hide.

"I sang from Grease, It was really quite moving, the crowd loved it" she offered and he nodded. She already thought of a lie of what song, in case he asked. She couldn't bring herself to say it was a duet with Jesse. She felt the guilt washing over her and thought she should mention it.

"Finn?" she tested the water

"Huh?" he responded, reading the spines of her books.

"I saw Jesse the other day" she forced out and he spun around to face her.

"What? Where? Did you talk to him?" he asked and she shook her head, sensing his jealousy.

"Um in the mall the other day, the music store" she commented "He mentioned something about wanting to explain things. I didn't give him a chance, It's just ridiculous to assume that I would want to hear anything from him. Especially with us going so well, right?" she breezed over the truth and he nodded blankly.

"Ya" he nodded "Isn't he supposed to be gone already?" he asked bitterly.

"I'm sure he's just here for the summer before school starts or something" she offered, knowing that her comment was exactly true.

"Damn, I hope he just leaves already"

"I'm sure It won't happen again and even if it does, it's not like we'll say anything" she commented and he nodded.

"Ya"

* * *

The bustle and noise of the fair was amazing. The screams of people from atop the ferris wheel already made Rachel's stomach sick. She held hands with Finn, a cotton candy in her other hand. She bit off a piece of the pink sugar candy and smiled content at the day's events. It had been a week since their fight and the movie theatre. Many days had passed since a comment or text from Jesse, which too was good news. Everything was going well.

"What else do you want to do?" he asked. They had ridden 5 rides, played games, gotten their faces painted.

"I would say enter the talent show, but there isn't one" she commented and he smiled.

"I'm just happy walking around" she commented and he pulled her closer, with a broad smile. They passed Quinn and Puck a while back, at a shooting game and he hoped they wouldn't see them again, it was such problems the last time. It was such a small town, he was sure almost half the town was at the Carnival today.

"Oh no" Rachel muttered to herself, spotting Jesse ahead of them, playing a strength game. She saw the smile on his face as he received a winning toy and he turned towards them, to head in their direction. She ducked into Finn's shoulder, but it was no use.

"Finn!" Jesse called, heading straight towards them. "Rachel, hey" he smiled.

"What do you want?" Finn asked back, angry.

"Woah" Jesse noted "Guess just because Rachel's forgiven me, doesn't mean you have"

"I haven't forgiven you" Rachel shot back, coming out of hiding in Finn's shoulder.

"Just leave us alone, ok Jesse?" Finn responded bitterly.

"Sure thing, Finn" Jesse responded, clearly not intimidated. He met eyes with Rachel quickly. He still stood in front of them, silence growing.

"Too bad there isn't a talent show, right?" He asked, his eyes on Rachel's. Her eyes grew wide, wondering if he would mention their duet. He smiled at her lightly, his eyes mocking. He looked for a second as if he might mention their singing at the karaoke bar. Then he turned back to Finn, meeting his angry gaze head on.

"Then I could prove once again that I can sing better than you" He snapped

"Prove it somewhere else" Finn answered back. "You lost the most important thing"

Rachel's face lit up with a smile at the comment and she gazed into his eyes lovingly. He glanced at her with a smile.

"Well unlike you, I never saw Rachel as a prize" Jesse shot back. Finn stared at him, at a loss for words.

"You two have a blast" Jesse commented sarcastically before heading past them, towards his final destination.

"What a jerk" Finn commented and Rachel nodded in agreement. A second later, she felt her phone buzz.

"Want a corn dog?" Finn asked and she nodded.

"I'll wait here" she offered and as he turned his back to her and ordered at the kiosk, she pulled out her phone.

"You look gorgeous today" read a message from Jesse "I was tempted to tell him about our duet"

"Thank you for not saying anything" she texted back hastily, pocketing the phone as Finn approached.

"Everything ok?" he asked, motioning to the phone.

"Dads just checking up on me" she lied easily and he nodded, linking arms with her again. Her phone buzzed again and as much as she wanted to check it, she resisted.

When Finn went to the washroom, she reached for her phone again. It was an hour ago since Jesse texted.

"Don't let him treat you like a prize" it began "you know you deserve more than that. I'm sorry I wasn't enough and got too scared to really be with you." She suppressed a tear, her breathing growing deeper. She pocketed the phone, wondering how hurt he was on the inside. She wanted to console him and couldn't imagine doing so, all at the same time.

"That was out of line" she texted back. "We've been over this. I'm with Finn. I sympathize with you but can't forgive you"

He looked at the message, a slow anger boiling inside him. He saw her moments ago, walking hand in hand with Finn along the strength games and ducked behind a cotton candy stand to avoid another confrontation.

"I wish you could" he texted the response and added "I think you could, if you didn't love the drama." She stared at his reaction appalled, when she had time to check it, as Finn grabbed them some drinks. She pocketed the phone and made up her mind not to check the message again and not to text back, ever. But she knew he was right on some level. She understood his argument, that he was only needed for the task to get her to meet Shelby, something she would always have him to thank for and she knew he didn't want to leave. And that he had to egg her to prove his allegiance. She understood it all but her heart pained when she thought of him, she didn't know if it was because she missed him or because she hated him and what he had done to her.

She linked arms with Finn when he returned and kissed him, snuggling up to him as the sun set and the carnival bustled with the neon lights and shouts of kids and teens enjoying the summer nights.

* * *

It was two weeks later when Rachel was walking past a park. She spotted Shelby with a baby stroller walking down the pathway and approached her. She wanted to ask about Jesse, but bit her lip, keeping conversation light. Their conversation became heavy in a different way, much too quickly and went form his and hellos to confessions.

"I'm sorry I put you through that Rachel" Shelby smiled to her sadly "I just didn't know what I wanted and found out I couldn't have kids anymore. I wanted my baby back but you'd grown up and I couldn't be there for you" Shelby confessed and Rachel nodded, with tear filled eyes.

"I know, its ok" She muttered. "I'd love to still get to know you" she promised and Shelby smiled at her.

"I'd love that, and so would Beth" Shelby promised and Rachel's voice caught in her throat, almost sure that it was Quinn's baby.

"Well somedays I can come by?" Rachel asked and Shelby nodded kindly.

"We're here every Tuesday afternoon" Shelby promised and Rachel smiled brightly, waving as she walked back up the path.

* * *

Two days later, Tuesday, she arrived. It was already late in the summer and school would be starting soon. As she approached the park, she saw to her horror, Jesse was there. He was standing above Shelby, who sat on the bench, with Beth in her arms. He seemed to be explaining something, not something Shelby was pleased with. Rachel crept closer and neither of them noticed. She kept edging closer until she could hear him clearly, but they hadn't noticed her, too consumed in their discussion.

"You're sure about this?" Shelby asked him sadly.

"Positive" he responded and she breathed in deeply, shaking her head.

"Jesse, you have so much potential"

"It's not like I won't be doing theater" he responded

"I just don't see why you don't want to go to University right away, I thought you wanted to get out of here" she asked and he shook his head.

"I do and I will be, just in January" he retorted and she shook her head, smiling at him sadly.

"All for a girl?" she asked and he laughed lightly.

"Ya" he agreed.

"This is all my fault, I shouldn't have asked you to approach her-" she began but he shook his head.

"No, Shelby" he spoke softly "It's fine. and This way I can see you more, give me tips on my singing"

"Jesse, you're a star, you don't need anything except the spotlight" Shelby smiled back and he nodded.

"Thanks" She got up and placed Beth in the stroller, pulling Jesse in for a hug.

"Just remember, the sooner you get out of here, the sooner you'll be a star" she commanded and he nodded. She noticed Rachel some way off and pulled out of the hug with Jesse, calling to her.

"Rachel, hey" she called happily and Rachel started moving, as if she had been approaching and not listening the whole time.

"Hey" she announced happily, sharing a quick glance with Jesse.

"I'm about to go" He told her and she nodded in acknowledgment of the comment.

"Bye" he said awkwardly.

"You should join us" Shelby offered, glancing at him with a knowing look. He looked back at her cross.

"No really, I should go" he responded, stubborn. "Bye"

"Bye" Rachel said meekly, before turning to look at Beth in the stroller. Jesse walked off and Rachel glanced back at his retreating figure for an instant.

"I hope you didn't hear any of that" Shelby asked Rachel, looking at her for a tell on her face.

"Hear what?" Rachel lied, gulping down hard on the new secret she had to keep.

"If you did, you know he'd leave if you let him" Shelby spoke softly "it might just take a word" Rachel nodded at the information, still in denial that Jesse would stay for her.

She paced her room that night, consumed with the day's events. She had breakfast with Finn, then to the park and seen Jesse and Shelby. An hour and half spent with Shelby and Beth, walking around the park and talking, mostly about their love for stardom and performing. Then Rachel had walked home, eaten alone, watching Funny Girl on her computer. Now she paced her room, holding her phone in front of her. She scrolled through her list and was about to press call. She chickened out and put the phone down, the name 'Jesse' still staring at her. Was she too rash for assuming that Jesse was staying for her? It was ridiculous to think. He loved being a star, he had to be a star. But hadn't Shelby basically told her that he was staying for Rachel all along? She shook her head in confusion, nearly jumping out of her skin as her phone rang. She picked it up with a cheery tone.

"Hey Finn" she spoke, glad for the procrastination, but aware that she had to call Jesse tonight or she never would.

"Hey, how was your day?" he asked and she divulged into the details about Shelby and Beth, leaving out Jesse. She needed to wrap this conversation up quickly.

"Finn, are we still on for tomorrow?" she asked, not at all thrilled to be going to a sporting event.

"Ya for sure, I'll see you at 5 for dinner first?" he asked and she confirmed the fact.

"But hey, I have to go, I'm in the middle of practicing some songs. Call you maybe in an hour?" she asked, she had to allow time to talk to Jesse after all, she couldn't tell Finn to call and then expect him to be ok with a busy tone or something.

"Oh, ok" Finn agreed and she replied in a bubbly voice, but her thoughts were far form the conversation at hand.

"Ok, love you, see you tomorrow" she replied.

"Love you too, bye" he responded and she hung up the phone, pacing her room and staring down at it. She bit her lip and then scrolled through her library, clicking the green call button before she could chicken out again.

Three rings later, he picked up the phone. He hadn't looked at who it was, and replied hastily.

"Hello?" he asked and she couldn't help but remember singing Hello with him, what seemed like ages ago.

"Jesse" She said back, nervous almost

"Rachel?" his tone changed instantly, to one of happiness "Hey" but confusion was heavy in his tone as well.

"I just wanted to talk" she started, but she couldn't seem to find the words she had been rehearsing to say, less than an hour ago.

"Right now?" he asked "I'm about to get on a plane"

"Oh, really?" she asked, shocked.

"Ya I'm heading to LA, but I can talk for a bit, what's up?" he asked. Relief washed over her, so he was going after all. She shook the nervousness out of her voice.

"Nothing. Just" she paused "good luck" she paused "that's all I wanted to say" she responded "bye" she hung up the phone quickly. Hoping that would be the last of Jesse St. James.


	3. Take Me or Leave Me

September came on with a breeze and school started. She walked the halls with Finn on her arm, proud of their summer spent together. They were not having big issues and almost every week, she would meet Shelby and Beth for an hour or so, talking and sharing memories and fears, all that should have been with her mother. She was sad to know, but glad that Jesse left. She would have hated more than him leaving, having held him back, even though she told herself she still hated him. She hadn't forgiven him, but time was healing the wounds and it was easier to talk to him and think of him, now that he was far away, or so she thought. Finn and her walked the halls in a daze of happiness, walking into the choir room, thrilled for a new year. They hadn't practiced nearly enough, according to her standards and had wanted to practice more during the summer, but it would be fine, she assured herself, there was only so much she could do. They walked into the choir room early, only Puck and Quinn were there, in the corner. They stopped in the door, looking at each other as if they should leave. Puck and Quinn seemed to be fighting.

"I know you think I'm an idiot" Puck breathed softly, but Quinn just shook her head.

"We have to be realistic." she countered "We barely lasted all summer and now, I just don't think we'll work, with all the temptations" she responded lightly.

"Well lets try, I might make mistakes, but you're worth it" Puck offered and Quinn smiled at him sadly. He pulled her into a kiss, that grew in passion. Finn forced the door open the loud creak separating them. He and Rachel walked into the choir room and he didn't bother to look over at Quinn or Puck and sat in the first row with Rachel.

"You're not even gonna acknowledge me?" Puck asked Finn

"Nothing to say" Finn responded bitterly.

"Whatever" Puck responded, turning back to Quinn.

Rachel could feel the awkwardness growing, and felt like breaking the silence.

"How was your summer?" she asked lightly to the room, but no one responded. Puck and Quinn were whispering.

"I saw Beth" Rachel tried again but wished she could take the words back the instant she said them. All three heads popped up to look at her.

"What?" Quinn asked in disbelief. She looked angry.

"Beth, Shelby has her" Rachel stuttered and Puck looked at Quinn with a some what worried expression.

"Oh that's just perfect Rachel" Quinn snapped "You think I want to be reminded that I had to give her up?"

"NO, I uh-" Rachel began but Quinn shut her off.

"What gives you the right? You didn't even come to the hospital. Stop trying to be my friend" Quinn snapped, rising up. Puck followed. She left the choir room with Puck behind her as Kurt came in. The rest of the glee club followed shortly.

"Anyone seen Puck or Quinn?" Mr Shu asked the class and Rachel offered a lie.

"Quinn's not feeling well, I don't think they'll join us today" Rachel responded and Shu nodded.

"Well that's not how I'd like to start things, but let's get started and I'll talk to them later" he pressed on, giving out that week's Glee Assignment.

* * *

As Finn was passing the lockers to to biology, he saw Santana and Puck. Santana was feet away from him, clearly upset as his non availability. He couldn't hear the conversation, but as Puck wasn't exactly shoving her off, he sensed a betrayal. During lunch, Rachel said she wanted to practice in the auditorium. Finn found Quinn at her locker.

"What do you want Finn? I'm about to join Puck at lunch" Quinn said, forcing her bag into her locker.

"There's no easy way to say this" Finn began "But I saw Puck and Santana-" his voice trailed off. "I'm sorry" he started and she looked at him confused.

"Saw them doing what exactly?" Quinn snapped. "You think Puck's going to cheat on me?" she asked.

"I just don't want you to get hurt" Finn replied.

"Finn, you have a girlfriend. You need to get over me" Quinn responded

"I'm not into you" he replied, shocked at the accusation "I just think you and Puck are a horrible match" he spoke truthfully.

"Well that's for me to decide" Quinn responded "And I know it hurts you to see us together but It's been a long time Finn."

"Well you flaunt it" Finn snapped back.

"Sorry, I wasn't aware we had to sensor ourselves around you" Quinn snapped "Whatever your problem is Finn, find out, because Puck and I are going to be together for a while" she announced and he looked at her.

"Just don't get hurt" he whispered "I still care about you" he said before he knew what had happened.

Quinn gulped down hard.

"Finn, you're with Rachel" she spoke gently, touching him lightly on the arm.

Puck had been waiting at the table for Quinn. He was walking towards her locker when he saw her and Finn. She reached out and touched Finn on the arm. He approached quickly.

"Well look, it's a reunion" he commented quickly. Quinn withdrew her hand. She rounded on Puck.

"Why were you talking to Santana?" she accused and his eyes shot up to meet Finn's in anger.

"Babe, she wanted to know why I'm no longer a stud, chick wise."

"And what did you say?" Quinn asked, very aware that Finn was still standing there.

"We've been over this. I'm just with you now" he replied and a reluctant smile crept to her face.

"What are you doing with my girl, Finn?" he asked, rounding on him and placing an arm around Quinn's waist.

"Just uh discussing choir" Finn lied and Puck laughed.

"Nice lie" he responded "Stay away from us"

"Gladly" Finn responded, heading off to the direction of the auditorium.

"So you were talking to Santana?"

"She approached me, I can't believe Finn would do that"

"He said he still cares about me" Quinn responded lightly and Puck gulped down hard. "Don't do anything about it, don't beat him up or anything, please" she asked and he nodded slowly.

"Fine, just don't like you talking to him. He's such a jerk lately"

"I know, but I don't like you talking to Santana. After the baby and being kicked of the Cheerios, I just don't feel -" he stopped her in her words.

"You're gorgeous" he promised, kissing her lightly. She smiled softly, leaning into his embrace as they walked down the hall towards the cafeteria.

* * *

Rachel dwelled on the last note as the door clicked open and Finn arrived to the auditorium. He seemed not to notice her, or even look up at the stage and that upset her. He was huffy and muttering and thinking to himself. She waved to the guy in the lighting booth and the spotlight on her vanished.

"Hey" she called to Finn, adding more happiness than she felt, to try to get his attention.

"Hey" he called up, now glancing at her on the stage. She stood awkwardly, not commanding the stage, but shrinking away from it, as if afraid of the auditorium. But since that would never be true, she was afraid of him and how he was acting.

"Are we ok?" she asked and he was still looking at her.

"Of course, sorry I took so long. Had to figure something out, but it's completely done now" he commented and she smiled lightly.

"Ok" she said uneasily.

"Just stupid drama with Puck" he commented, more to himself than anyone. She nodded slowly.

"So that's what you were doing?" she asked "I waited for you, I wanted to show you the song I've been working on, but then went ahead and practiced one from my arsenal anyway. Wanna see it?" she asked cheerful and he looked at her.

"Not right now" he stuttered over the words and she nodded, jumping down from the stage.

"Finn I know I'm high maintenance, but you can tell me what's going on and I'll try to resist my urge to show you every song I practice or the new dance numbers or something, just let me know what's going on"

He took a moment before responding.

"It's just I saw Santana and Puck and then I wanted to tell Quinn-"

"- you were talking to Quinn?"

"Well I did talk to her, but"

"Is that why you were late? You were talking to Quinn?"

"uh..."

"well which is it? You said you were dealing with Puck."

"I was warning Quinn that she might get hurt"

"Well that's so chivalrous of you Finn. To care about her so much when you neglect your girlfriend"

"Rachel, it's not like that"

"Finn" she breathed heavily "I want to practice something else, can you go please?" she asked

"But you haven't eaten" he commented "I thought we were going to lunch"

"I can take care of myself" she snapped "and now you have time to care of Quinn"

"Rachel!" he commented, staring at her in wonder "I don't.." he stuttered "I wanna be with you"

"Then what is going on with Quinn and Puck?" she snapped and he looked at her, sadly .

"I dunno, It just gets to me, I'm sorry"

"It's fine, It's been months, she had a baby in that time. I could write a symphony in that time"

"Rachel, stop being so dramatic. Ok, I'm still not over it, the whole betrayal and everything. And now she's so dumb she's gonnna be with Puck, don't you see it as a mistake?"

"I'm too dramatic?" she snapped "I'm not the one talking to my ex about her current relationship. I'm not talking to Jesse, I'm not warning him or anything"

"Don't bring him up, this is about you and me, you over dramify everything"

"that's not a word Finn"

"I don't care, just I'm not gonna be able to be perfect all the time, ok? I'm sorry I'm late, I was talking to Quinn, at least I'm being honest"

"Fine, if you're so honest" she paused "Do you still have feelings for her?"

"What?"

"Answer the question the Finn"

"I don't know" he snapped quickly, unable to think.

"Well you should, so when you figure it out, find me" she commented, waving to the guy in the lighting booth. The stage was illuminated in a brilliant golden light as she jumped up onto it, her shadow on the backboards.

"Rach?"

"Just go" she replied, without looking at him. He sighed deeply and started walking briskly to the back of the auditorium, clearly frustrated.

She put on a show face, a broad smile but she felt broken inside. Her voice filled the auditorium and she heard the door slam, cringing at the sound as she continued the song. At the end, the light shut off and the guy who helped her with the lighting left. She lay in a heap on the stage, sobbing until the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

* * *

The next day: Friday, she didn't speak a word to Finn. They avoided each other, since they had nothing to say yet. Quinn noticed the change in glee, it would be hard to spot, but thought nothing of it. She hoped Finn wouldn't try to pursue her, she didn't know if she and Puck could take it.

"And remember" Mr Shu called out "to find a song for this week's assignment"

Rachel left the choir room first and Finn watched her go.

They didn't speak the whole weekend and Rachel was growing more and more frustrated. On monday they avoided each other as if they had leprosy and Glee club was disastrous. She spent the whole time dodging evil angry stares from Quinn and sorrowful glances from Finn. She shared her glee assignment, something, she was not pleased to think, but obviously was inspired by Jesse. She sang Rent's Take Me or Leave me, directly to Finn but may have been thinking about Jesse.

It was Tuesday before Finn approached her at her locker.

"Hey" he breathed, the one word heavy with so many things they weren't saying.

"Glad I made the cut" Rachel snapped back "But I can't do this now Finn, just because you decide to start talking to me after 4 days. I'm about to rehearse"

"I need to apologize"

"What and Friday wasn't good enough? Or saturday? Or Sunday?"

"What is your problem?"

"My problem is that I have a boyfriend who doesn't know how to make me feel good. You haven't apologized, you haven't even cared"

"You told me to take time to figure out what I want"

"That's the point Finn, you're just supposed to know. It's not supposed to take time" She snapped, slamming her locker and performing a very diva storm off.

* * *

She met Shelby that day at the park, glad for a distraction from her idiot of a boyfriend. As she had been passing, she could've sworn she saw Jesse getting into a car at the mall. But when she glanced again, he was gone and she was sure her mind was playing tricks on her.

"Hey" she breathed, but Shelby was not expecting her.

"I didn't think you would come" She responded, not entirely pleased that Rachel was there.

"Of course"

"Rachel, can I ask you a question?" Shelby began "I believe you're a decent person and you were raised right"

"Shelby, where's this going?"

"If you know how Jesse feels about you, why didn't you tell him to go?" she finished finally.

"It wouldn't have made a difference" Rachel defended "it was his decision" Shelby looked at her with a sour face and nodded. She wanted to add 'it's not like he was staying for me' but the idea seemed so ridiculous and far from the truth, she couldn't articulate it.

"I just hope he's not too broken up" Shelby reflected more to herself. Silence filled and Rachel counted her own breaths. It was moments before she could think of what to say. She felt the sting of Jesse's absence, but knew it was for the best.

"How's Beth today?" Rachel smiled, changing the subject.

"She's great" Shelby responded, smiling to the little girl in her stroller. "How are you?" She asked and over the next hour Rachel breathed to Shelby the saga of her and Finn, the whole mess of Puck and Quinn and how it all made her feel.

"Well what about Jesse?" Shelby asked and Rachel stared at her blankly.

"What about him?" Rachel asked, hoping she wouldn't ask if she still had feelings for him, she couldn't honestly answer that question.

"Well I bet that adds stress to the relationship. You said you sang with him last month"

"Well Finn doesn't know" Rachel breathed and Shelby's face changed to disappointment.

"Rachel really?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"I just wanted to ignore it and I dunno, it's not that big of a deal. Finn knows that I saw him"

"Rachel, he deserves the truth, You can't be so hard on him because of Quinn and not tell him about Jesse" Shelby said and Rachel nodded, like a scolded child. She knew she was right.

"But I didn't want to add stress and It's not like I care about" she paused, not wanting to say his name "Jesse that much anymore, it would just create a fight" Rachel defended and Shelby stared at her with a knowing look.

"I'll tell him" she sighed finally, giving in. "I know I have to" she confessed, fingering the zipper on her cardigan, looking for something to distract her.

"at the same time, you should tell Jesse to go"

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, confusion flooding to her face.

"It's the right thing Rachel"

"Jesse's not here, he left" Rachel responded, sure of it. "He was getting on the plane when I talked to him. I was going to tell him, but he left"

"I'm not sure about that" Shelby shook her head "I saw him yesterday, he's still here. I still can't believe he deferred a term"

"What? No" Rachel confused "he left" she forced.

"Rachel I saw him,he didn't leave, he might not even in January"

"I didn't tell him to go because he was already on a plane!" Rachel defended. She paused, taking in the information. Maybe she had seen Jesse earlier. Of course Shelby was telling the truth. It was a mix up. She felt a need, a want to see him and choose her next words.

"If he's really here, where can I find him?"

"The homeless shelter near the community center" Shelby answered.

"Of course" Rachel laughed. "Impromptu concerts, even on a Tuesday"

"Wait, no...Its Tuesday" Shelby spoke, shaking her head "I think he has rehearsal for My Fair Lady at the local theatre. They usually get out at 5" Rachel nodded. She couldn't wait to be done her weekly meeting with Shelby, wanting to go to the theater and prove Shelby wrong. There was no way Jesse was here, not at all, she told herself. She parted with Shelby, still thinking about Jesse as she grabbed her bag and headed towards the theatre. She was in disbelief as she walked to the theatre,her feet leading the way she knew so well. She couldn't believe he was actually there, there was no way. She snuck into the theatre and watched the end of rehearsal, knowing she wouldn't see him. No chance, or was there?


	4. If You're in Love, Show Me

"St James" the chubby female director called off her clipboard, adjusting her moon shaped glasses. He jumped up from a seat and dashed to the stage. Rachel's shock was unmasked. Her mouth fell to the floor and she watched him with huge eyes, unable to take in the spectacle at hand.

"On the Street Where You Live" she croaked, her nicotine addiction making her voice raspy.

Rachel hid in the shadows of the door and watched, not wanting to be seen. She felt like she did at regionals, watching his performance but this time she couldn't wait to go to him. She listened to his words and a smile came to her face.

"People stop and stare. They don't bother me.

For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.

Let the time go by, I won't care if I Can be here on the street where you live."

"Very good" the director croaked, checking her clipboard as he finished the song. "That's all folks. I'll see most of you Thursday for fittings and don't forget, this weekend is tech weekend. What time should you be here?"

"EIGHT" the actors yelled back in unison. Jesse looked to the piano instructor and nodded. She started playing a melody, 'Maria' from West Side Story and Jesse began singing as other actors began filing out, the theatre erupted with sound, people moving about off stage and behind the stage, actors chattering about their favorite song or how excited they were for opening next week. Rachel's eyes were fixed on Jesse's as he sang each 'Maria'.

"Say it loud and there's music playing, say it soft and it's almost like praying"

"Who are you?" The croaky director asked Rachel and she snapped out of her staring contest with the stage and Jesse's figure as he sang each line.

"Oh, Rachel, I'm here to see Jesse" she said quickly.

"ST JAMES" the director hollered, turning to face the stage, which Rachel did not expect. Jesse stopped singing and looked towards the director.

"VISITOR" she yelled, turning back to Rachel.

"No, it's ok" Rachel assured in an embarrassed whisper as fast as she could, but it was too late. "Really, I-"

"Don't be shy dearie, he's got lots of fans" she croaked and the door opened, illuminating Rachel in sunlight from outside. Jesse made eye contact with her. His face transformed to pleasant shock upon seeing her. She was emerged in the shadows as the door slammed shut, but Jesse had stopped singing and his eyes were still on her. She could still see his brilliant smile and assured herself it was just his stage face, but she knew otherwise.

"That's all for now Kate" he told the pianist, not even glancing behind him, his eyes fixed on Rachel's masked in the shadow of the door way. Kate rose, grabbing her sheet music and made her way off the stage.

"Bye Jesse" she commented as she headed through the aisles towards the exit.

Rachel came forward out of the shadow towards the stage. She walked down the aisle, her hand bumping against the backs of the seats as she looked down, walking towards him. Aware that his eyes were on her.

"Hey" she said joyfully, genuine.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, confusion masking his happiness as she climbed the stairs.

"It's great to see you" she responded, with a smile.

"Really?" he asked, his genuine vulnerability making her smile brighter.

"Ya, but I thought you left, I'm really confused" she explained and his face lit up in a smile.

"I left, I went to LA. I came back. I only went to see Rent" he responded and she nodded. "Thats when you called me, I was about to leave. I was there for a day. I've had tickets for months"

"Oh" she bit her lip as the awkwardness grew. She had nothing to say.

"What did you think of the solo?" he asked quickly, to save the tension.

"Great" she replied "as per usual" she complimented and he couldn't help but smile.

"I wanted the lead you know, but they said I was too young" he chuckled lightly. She had no reaction and he watched her face.

"Rach, what's wrong?" he asked and she looked up into his eyes.

"I need you to tell me why you're here" she responded.

"Well this is where we rehearse, trust them not to be able to afford the community performance hall-"

"No Jesse" she interrupted. "Why aren't you at University?" she asked, bracing herself for the answer, though it surely wouldn't be what she thought.

"What, when I could be a minor character here?" he asked, joking.

"Jesse" she responded, still staring into his eyes.

"Don't you know?" he asked seriously.

"I want you to say it" she whispered back and he nodded. He gulped down his fear and looked away from her, to the piano. He glanced back at her and she could tell that he was nervous.

"You" it was barely audible in the giant auditorium. He cleared his throat and tried again, but the words wouldn't come. "uh" he stuttered. "You" he repeated with more confidence but his voice still soft. He licked his lips and sighed deeply. he was sure he could hear his heart beating in the silence. "Say something" he whispered as she stared at him in shock. But he wasn't sure she had even heard him.

"Jesse" she didn't want to hurt him. Her eyes filled with tears. She didn't know how she had come this far, from hating him to this moment. "If I told you to go" she paused, fearful of her affect on him.

"Would you?" she asked. Her breathing staggered, heavy, she watched him for his reaction.

"Ya. If that's what you wanted" he muttered, glancing down to his shoes. He could feel the silence magnified in the auditorium, almost duplicated. He felt as if she could hear his heartbeat, for it was surely too loud to be in his chest.

"Then" she started. His eyes glanced up to meet hers. "Then I want" she tried again. She breathed in and chuckled with nervousness. She couldn't believe what she was about to say.

"I want you to stay" she finished, finally getting it out. Tears formed in her eyes as she watched his face for a reaction. A confused and dumbfounded smile crept to his face. Disbelief washed over him like a wave in the ocean, hitting him again and again.

"Is this pay back?" he asked slowly "I mean I know I hurt you, if this is because of how I treated you. I want you know, I would take forever to make it up to you. You're not just some girl Rachel, I-" his voice caught in his throat. He coughed and mustered confidence.

"I know" she smiled. "I missed you"

"I didn't leave" he reminded with a teasing smile, but not one that was very confident. He was still clearly unsure about her words.

"I thought you had"

"What was it you missed most?" he joked "singing with me? Rehearsing lines? Watching musical marathons, arguing about who sang it better?" he paused "No, or was it my stunning good looks?" he teased and she smiled.

"God, you're ego, it's-"

"What? bigger than yours?" he cut off, smiling at her.

"Ya" she laughed. She paused and then spoke genuinely "I missed your voice"

"Good thing there's a piano behind us" he whispered, stepping closer to her. Not daring to mention Finn first, though the guy popped up into his head. NO wonder she missed his voice, she only had Finn to sing with.

"Jesse, I can't, I'd do something I regret" she stuttered, moving away.

"That's what I'm hoping. Come on, we sing perfectly together"

"I'm still with Finn"

Oh" he responded, shaking his head with angered confusion. "What?"

"I came here to tell you to go. I did. But seeing you, I can't and I-"

"You what Rachel? Are you leading me on? This is payback for the way I treated you?"

"No. I just needed to hear it, the reason you stayed"

"Well I'll tell you a million times, but it won't change anything"

"That's the problem" she snapped "it already has!"

"What?"

"I'm not over you" she confessed, shouting. She gasped from her own revelation. "No!" she reacted, eyes wide open. Her hands clasped over her mouth as she shook her head. She took her hands down, dumbfounded at her own words.

"I didn't say that, I have a boyfriend. One who loves me and here I am flirting and talking to you and enjoying your confession. This is isn't fair to you. This isn't me" her words came tumbling forward at rapid speed.

"Rach"

"I know, I have to pick" she nodded "I didn't know I felt this way" she paused "until about a moment ago"

"Is there any way I can build my case?"

"The whole not leaving for University thing, when I know you hate Ohio is pretty good for you. It's about the most romantic thing ever"

"So, I shouldn't serenade you with a song?" he joked and she shook her head.

"I'm still confused, I need to hear all of it, the reasoning. I mean, what did you think would happen if you stayed?"

"Nothing." he breathed, exasperated "But I hoped you'd forgive me and that we'd at least be friends. I hate that you have this affect on me. Shelby hates it, she thinks I should be in LA with the bright lights. Not moping over and waiting to see you, trying to give you space. I just know Finn doesn't deserve you. We fit together and I messed up, I wanted you to know the truth and then next thing I knew, I was staying for a term, just in hopes of seeing you or passing you or even talking to you, I mean I love you and it's crazy to thin-" She cut him off, she raced forward into his arms and propelled herself against him, cutting his speech off with a kiss. His eyes opened in shock as her lips touched his. His arms wrapped around her instantly, pulling her closer. His eyes fluttered shut as he melted into her arms and the touch of her lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into the kiss. The kiss grew in passion as he held her near. His lips greedily encased hers.

She pulled away suddenly, breaking out of his embrace and stepping backwards to give them space.

"Oh my god, I have a boyfriend, I'm sorry" she breathed, looking at him with somber eyes.

"I'm not" he confessed "And I hope you pick the right guy for you. " he then added "And I hope it's me" he flashed her a smile. "Come on, you should get home, call your boyfriend. Mr. Perfect but tone deaf"

"Jesse" she whispered and he looked at her to see her crying.

"Hey, it's ok, he's not that bad." he whispered, not wanting to approach her. She shook her head and still tears fell.

"I don't kiss that bad, do I?" he asked and she laughed through her sobs, cradling her face in her hands.

"Rach, I won't tell anyone, if you're worried about you and Finn" she let out a bawl and stepped forward to him, closing the space between them and pulling him into a soaking wet hug. She sobbed against his shirt as he looked down at her in confusion. He wrapped his arms around her cautiously.

"It's ok" he mumbled, not knowing what he was comforting. He brushed his fingers through her hair, because he wanted to and to comfort her. She felt so much pain at his romantic gesture compared to Finn. She felt horrible for feeling bad kissing Jesse when she felt that Finn barely noticed her, consumed with jealousy over Puck and Quinn. She held onto Jesse, bawling. Knowing that her relationship with Finn, whom she loved and whom she had seen such a bright future with, was surely about to end.

"Sorry" she pulled away from him ten minutes later. "I'll call you" she assured, hoping off the stage and heading towards the exit before he could get in another word.

He stood on the stage confused and exhilarated, as the door slammed shut. He sat down on the piano, a smile on his face. Thinking there was hope for him at last.

* * *

She walked towards the mall in a rush, wiping her tears as she went. She needed to think, to evaluate her life, her choices. She called one of her dads to pick her up and ten minutes later, was in the car headed home.

"Finn called for you three times" he announced, but she nodded in the car.

"Everything ok, my little star?" he asked and she smiled lightly.

"Ya" she muttered, looking out the window of the car.

"Are you and Finn ok?" he pressed on.

"I don't want to talk about it" she started "It's too dramatic"

"For you? Wow" he commented and she kept her gaze on the passing cars beside her.

When they arrived home, she bypassed dinner and headed towards her room, blasting West Side Story and bawling. She hoped her dads didn't hear her under the music. She wondered where it all went wrong, she had been so in love with Finn and hated Jesse and now didn't even know where she stood.

* * *

Finn approached her before classes began the next day. She had spent the night thinking, barely getting a wink of sleep.

"I'm sorry" he apologized, kissing her on the cheek. "I've been stressed with football and you're right, I was stupid about the whole Quinn thing"

"Finn, I don't think this is working"

"What?"

"I think we need to take some time away from each other" she confessed, breathing heavily.

"NO" he retorted "I mean we have problems, who doesn't have problems, well probably Chuck Norris, but Rachel, I love you"

"I sang with Jesse" she confessed and saw his face change to anger.

"That doesn't change anything. I mean I'm pissed but I still wanna be with you"

"Finn, we need a break, we're Tybalt and Romeo"

"What?" The bell rang behind them, home room was starting. Finn stayed rooted in his spot and Rachel grabbed her binder, closing her locker.

"We're not working" she breathed, looking back at him.

"Rachel, how can this make sense to you?" he asked "I love you, You love me, I was a jerk, but I'm over it. Quinn's not gonna do anything to us anymore. We don't need a break"

"I kissed Jesse" she paused "and I've been lying to you" but he didn't even hear the second part.

"WHAT?" he nearly bellowed. A few passerby straddlers to class stared.

"Yesterday" she confessed and he stared at her in shock. He looked at her dumbfounded and furious. Silence passed in moments. The second bell rang.

"There's an explanation" he countered

"Ya. He stayed in Ohio for me. He didn't go to University and leave this town he hates. _For me_. And you, you still care about Quinn"

"Rachel"

"I'm sorry" she responded "I wanted us to work"

"Doesn't seem like it." he forced his next words "But, even though, you kissed that jackass, we can try"

"Finn, I don't regret kissing Jesse" she confessed and he looked at her in shock.

"Fine" he whispered but she could see the layers of hurt and anger that she'd caused. "I'm sure you two will be so happy. Singing and watching musicals together, you know I"m over it. Whatever Rachel"

He walked away from her and she watched his retreating figure, filled with pain in her stomach. She swung her backpack on and headed to class.

* * *

When the bell rang for Glee, Rachel filed into the choir room. Some of the members were already there and she sat down at the front. Finn passed her chair as he climbed to the back row and sat down. Puck and Quinn entered, arms around each other waists and Finn heard Santana sigh loudly beside him.

"Alright" Shu started, sitting on a chair and facing the class. "This week, as I mentioned yesterday is all about pairs. So you'll pick a partner and sing a song together, or in a duet. I just want a lot of unison and show choir, is all about understanding each other"

Rachel raised her hand in the air.

"Yes, Rachel?" Shu asked, ready for a correction of what show choir was _really _about.

"I think we should pick names out of a hat. Like we did with the Ballad" she offered and some of the club complained. "It gives us a chance to work with people we wouldn't normally"

"Actually Rachel, you're in luck. We want to focus on the people you normally sing with. So Santana and Puck, Rachel and Finn, Kurt and Mercedes, it's all about finding a balance and trusting your partner. But here" Shu paused, a smile coming over his face "Is the fun part, I've picked the songs and it's up to you and your partner to draw the song. So don't worry Rachel, we're using a hat"

"Not what I meant" she muttered under her breath, crossing her arms.

"Some of them are together, some are sung in unison, but all of them tell a story. Rachel, do you want to be the first to pick?"

"What are the options?" she snapped from her chair.

"Well alright, we're looking at Love the Way You Lie, Lucky, All I Ask of You and other ones just with pairs. Broad range, not all of them are love songs. Just go for it" Rachel stood up in class and headed towards the piano. She shut her eyes, praying for a neutral song and stuck her hand in the black hat, feeling the folded sheets of paper. She selected one. She wished for it to be a good choice and pulled it out.

"Hate that I love you" she read out loud. "Mr Shu, Can I pick again or change partners?"

"Rachel no. Who's next?"

Rachel sat in her seat impatiently for the rest of Glee and as the bell rang, approached Mr. Shu.

"Mr. Shu, I know this is an important assignment, it will just be really tough."

"Rachel, it'll be fine"

"No, I can't sing with Finn"

"I'm sorry Rachel, but everyone's paired up and we don't have time to switch. Have the piece ready by next Wednesday"

* * *

The next day was more hellish, in regards of school. It seemed that Finn was everywhere she looked, despite the fact that he didn't want to see her. Their conversation was non existent, but after school she approached him. She was dutifully aware that she had to discuss their song and she dreaded the moment, but approached him at his locked nonetheless.

"Hi" she offered, weak and soft. His eyes glanced up to look at her, but he looked away just as quickly.

"What?" he asked, looking at her defeated as he grabbed his bag for football practice.

"We need to practice" she commented and he nodded, not knowing how he would last hours with her dissecting his singing.

"But I don't think it's a good idea to do it together" she confessed and he stared at her.

"But the song should be good"

"Well I don't think we can last if we try to rehearse together, so I'll see you in Glee"

"Fine" he commented, heading away from her, leaving her speechless.

* * *

As Thursday rolled by and she spent most of the days of class in a daze, not thinking about anything really, she longed to see Jesse. She needed to talk to him, to explain her feelings, to see what she really even wanted. Sure she didn't regret kissing him, but she didn't know if she could trust him again, even though his gesture brought intense swarms of butterflies to her stomach. She decided, spacing out during math and doodling lyrics in her notebook, that she would go to the theatre. With his opening night soon coming up, he was sure to be rehearsing. It was a sure fire way of seeing him.

* * *

She pushed the grand theater door open. Against the rainy weather of september, the heated bright bustling theater was a nice change. She shook her hair from the rain and lay her umbrella in the corner where she entered. A dozen people crowded the stage, all chattering. The same chubby director was motioning something to some stage hands covered in paint. She could hear vocalizing scales in the background a few sopranos crowding around the piano. She couldn't spot Jesse in the mesh of dancers on the stage, rehearsing one of the songs. She looked around, hanging lights. Everything seemed to be happening. She saw Jesse emerge onto stage, from backstage. He had just been fitted in his costume and wore trousers, a waist coat and a bow tie. She smiled at how dashing he looked in his costume. One of the men, the one playing Higgins she assumed, he was the oldest in the cast by far, looking near 40 and wore a broad smile, tossed Jesse a black top hat.

"Thanks Guvner" she heard Jesse yell in an accent. She laughed to herself, still transfixed in her spot, watching the scene before her.

"ALRIGHT" the director yelled, the theater rumbling stopped and silence filled the vast arena of art. "Places, I want to see SHOW ME and then straight into the next scene. Where's Eliza? Where is Rene?" she yelled out and a few of the stage hands cracked a joke Rachel couldn't hear. They nudged elbows, laughing. Eliza appeared seconds later in a glorious white and black dress and tattered old hat that didn't match at all.

"Start from stage left and work your way across" the director instructed, hoping down off the stage to sit in one of the seats. The stage cleared in the next two minutes, leaving just Eliza and Jesse on stage.

"Jesse, Rene, whenever your ready" she instructed from her seat in the 6th row.

Jesse's British accent sent chills up her spine as he recited the lyrics. The piano began slowly as he started singing along, following Eliza like a lost puppy. Eliza was just about to sing and cut him off, when the director stood up and yelled.

"STOP" she instructed "from the top, again. Rene, you've got to feel Eliza. Think about it, don't pity Jesse, think about Freddy. We're going to do this till you get it right, then I want to run the horse race with full props"

"I thought you said we would have an early night" Rene, playing Eliza protested, holding her accent even for the complaint.

"Well had you been available for your fitting, miss we would've. Take 5 everyone and text or call your loved ones, you wont be home for hours"

"But Ms-" Rene began

"I don't want to hear it! We are opening next week after all!" she directed "from the top, wonderful job Jesse"

As the scene began again, Rachel felt the importance of the rehearsal. No one even saw her in the back of the theatre, leave through the door. Everyone was fixed on Jesse and Rene, singing perfectly.

She swayed her umbrella as she walked slowly through the foyer, eyeing the posters and cast pictures. The posters of upcoming and now showing plays and musicals. She sighed deeply, she had wanted to see him. But it was better this way,she mused, she would have time to decide how exactly she felt about him. She passed a huge poster for "Godsend, this October" and another for "Death of A Salesman, October 12th" and a huge poster for "My Fair Lady starting Wednesday" she glanced at the sign, reading all the appropriate information and was pleased to find students only had to pay ten dollars. She smiled at the concept of going, but forced it out of her mind. It resurfaced a moment later, with _why not._ She stepped forward to the ticket office, seeing a red head popping gum and leaving through a magazine about guitar.

"Hey" she asked, coming forward.

"Sup" he asked, without looking up.

"One ticket for My Fair Lady please" she said, before she could chicken out.

The red head handed her the ticket. She glanced at the date and pleased with it, took the ticket.

"20 dollars" he announced.

"I'm a student" she clarified and he nodded his head.

"Ten then"

"Thanks" she put down a ten and pocketed the ticket. She left the theater with a broad smile even though it was pouring rain and she should be depressed. She did just break up with her boyfriend after all.

* * *

Shelby stood behind the swing, pushing Beth every few seconds. The girl giggled with delight at the swinging. Jesse approached.

"Hey Jesse" she called, swinging Beth forward.

"Hey" he called back as he approached. He handed her a ticket. "Wanted to invite you" he commented and she smiled.

"Great" she commented

"Oh and you were wrong. I'm glad I stayed" he smiled to her.

"Really, developments in the Rachel department?" she asked and he nodded.

"I told her everything. Why I'm here and well" he smiled, thinking about it "we kissed"

"Jesse, I'm glad you have hope" Shelby commented "I just hope she treats you right" she smiled. She went quiet and them changed the topic, swinging Beth away from herself again.

"Well, Beth missed you" she smiled and he looked at the little girl, picking her up out of the chair with ease.

"Heya Beth" he smiled, carrying her in his arms. The girl giggled and held onto his finger with her fist. "She's getting big"

"How long can you stay?" Shelby asked, looking to him with a smile.

"Just for ten minutes, rehearsal" he commented, turning his attention to Beth. He led her towards the colorful slide with a explaining tone. "Hey, wanna go on the slide?" he asked, taking her towards it. Shelby looked after him with a smile, sitting down on the bench, exhausted. She was glad she could rest her feet for ten minutes, mother hood was exhausting. Also, she was ecstatic that things were finally going right for him and that staying here paid off after all.

* * *

** Authors note: This August (2010) there actually was a production of Rent at The Hollywood Bowl in LA.

Directed by Neil Patrick Harris. Starring Wayne Brady, Aaron Tveit, Skyler Astin, (who was in Spring Awakening with Jonathan Groff) and Vanessa Hudgens.

Please Review if you like it. Will add more super duper soon.


	5. You're The Thing I Can't Get Enough Of

Rachel vocalized the beginning of the song, looking towards the front of the class, the glee kids in the seats instead of Finn, a good meter away from her to her left.

Finn vocalized back, staring at her in doubt and his singing was slightly off. He was clearly preoccupied. Shu looked at them uncertain, they weren't usually like this. Ever. There was usually such passion and closeness in their singing, too much.

"Don't be afraid to use to the space" Shu directed as Rachel sang "most everything you do make me want to smile." Rachel edged closer to Finn, barely even coming a foot closer, glancing over at him in the next line, but the emotion was lacking.

"Come on" Shu directed again, standing up and walking around the choir room, closer to them. "Feel the song, the emotion" he instructed and Finn came closer to Rachel, until a foot away, singing to her. She was visibly uncomfortable, but pasted on a smile and sang to him, reluctantly taking his hand. At "hate that I love you so" she pulled her hand away and walked around the piano. She was distracted too, Shu noted and her singing wasn't "off" but it wasn't its usual almost perfection.

The song ended, the meter of space reestablished between them. Finn didn't glance to Rachel as he sat down at his seat at the back. Shu came to the front of the class, Rachel passed him from the piano to her seat in the front row.

"You guys" Shu lamented "What was that? You're a pair, you sing every song together, we need to work on that" he shook his head and requested the next pair.

In truth, it was somewhat his fault. He had selected songs and put them into a hat, most of them didn't fit the pairs who had picked them. The worst was Hate that I love you so with Finn and Rachel for the lack of emotion or contact, at all. It beat out even Kurt and Mercedes' grotesque Rihanna and Emininem almost duet "Love the way you lie". He watched Kurt's god awful attempted rapping in horror and knew it was all his fault.

"Mr Shu" Kurt stopped, refusing to continue. "I can't do this. It isn't music" he rejected, sitting down, leaving Mercedes up on her own. She floated back to her seat and Shu sighed, standing. he came to the front of the class.

"Alright" he confessed "my choices were a bit off" he agreed.

"A bit?" Kurt snapped.

"They were fine" Santana backed up, but she had been all over Puck in their song of 'We kiss in a shadow" from the King and I. She glanced to Quinn with a evil snare, to which Quinn just gripped Puck's arm tighter, making Santana fume with jealousy.

"Well I'm sorry about that" Shu bell rang, blasted the class with the ringing. The class rose up, chattering erupting.

"Rachel, can I talk to you?" he asked as the rest of the Glee kids left for their next classes.

Moments later they were alone.

"Rachel, I know you and Finn might be going through something, but I also know you and your acting comes first, what's going on?" he asked

"Nothing Mr Shu" Rachel commented back, not wanting to get into the mess of the break up with Finn. "I told you I didn't want to sing with Finn" she pointed out and left the room without any other explanation.

* * *

Opening night was a big deal. A huge deal. For the first time in months Rachel Berry was the farthest thing from Jesse's mind. He checked himself in the mirror again, adjusting his top hat. His scene was starting in 5. He smiled to the mirror, taking a deep breath, filled with a gallon of anticipation for the theatre, the sold out crowd. He was absolutely delighted. He was where he was supposed to be. Even if he wasn't the star, even if he didn't have that much stage time, this was his calling. He pasted on a smile and strutted out towards the left wing, coming into the golden glow of the stage lights. He didn't notice Will Schuester in the crowd, or Shelby or even Rachel, the audiences faces dark as the shinning lights blinded him, illuminating his whole being and tossing his shadow onto the back board display that set the scene.

He felt the rush even until he was doing his second bow on stage. The standing ovation erupting with applause. He hadn't noticed that he had the most applause, possibly even more than Eliza. He was shinning in the spotlight, taking in every moment. They held hands and bowed again, the crowd cheering at the show they were graciously allowed to see. He couldn't see the faces of the crowd, but heard the erupting sound of their continuing applause and even if he wanted to, as hard as he tried, it would take a sledgehammer to carve that smile off his face.

"Man, when my mich cut off, I thought for sure it was the end" recollected one of the actors in a quiet whisper as the curtains closed. The stage cleared instantly, actors running about to go the dressing room, knowing their loved ones waited outside to greet them. Stage hands flooded to the stage, dressed in black like ninjas to rearrange the props and assure everything to be in order for tomorrows performance. Jesse headed towards the backstage, towards the dressing room at a slower pace, when he was called to the aisle.

"Hey, Jess?" a girl called towards him, stopping him in his tracks. He didn't like the nickname and usually would correct her, but nothing seemed to phase him now, so he let it slide.

"What's up?" he asked, he didn't know or remember her name. He was the shimmering golden star, she was a stage hand, adorned in black, just another behind the scenes, but everyone knew him, it was hard to miss him.

"Some fan girl says she knows you, she wants to get backstage" she commented, pulling back the drape to reveal an annoyed Rachel.

"I told you" Rachel sighed "I'm not _some_ FAN girl" Rachel protested at the accusation. Her eyes glanced up to meet Jesse.

"Hey" she smiled.

"You know her?" The stage hand asked. He didn't take time to answer her.

"HEY!" he cried out, slipping past the girl in black and taking Rachel into a great big hug. He pulled away and planted a kiss on her cheek, ecstatic about seeing her. He was still surviving on show adrenaline, or else he would've thought the kiss to be inappropriate or been obsessed that she thought so. The thought didn't cross her mind.

"Was it ok?How are you? Where were your seats?" he asked and she looked at him with a sarcastic expression. The stage hand passed them, heading back to the stage to clear the set.

"Are you kidding It was fantastic! 16th row and I'm great" she responded, reeling from his quick questions. He shot her a playful smile. He realized he still had her hand in his which he'd taken after the hug. He didn't even think to let go, though.

"Come on back stage, I'll give you a tour" he offered. She followed him through the dark clutter of back stage, passing a changing room bustling with noise and actors taking off make up. He led her through the winding pass ways, she gripped onto his hand tightly, barely able to see her footing in the dimly lit hall way, stepping over props and avoiding boards of set backgrounds. He took her towards the prop table on stage right. Two stage hands were near, ready to go into the aisles when enough of the crowd cleared. One shot them a jealous look, she clearly had an interest for the star actor.

"Sorry about that" he commented, coming to his senses off the adrenaline. "the kiss" he clarified and she nodded.

"Right" she commented "It's fine" She couldn't help but remember how she had blushed when he'd planted it on her cheek, thankfully he hadn't seen in the poor lighting. Also she recalled the flush of warmth that had surfaced when his lips had touched her skin. The memory made her blush again. She hoped he wouldn't notice.

"No it's not, I'm just on show adrenaline" he explained. "You know, when a show really gets to you, that crowd was amazing, but sorry"

"Jesse, It's cool." she responded, then went on to explain "I'm not with Finn anymore"

"I would say sorry" he began "But it wouldn't be honest" he replied and she nodded. Awkwardness filled in the space between them, which was only a few feet anyway. He leaned against the prop table cautiously, not to knock over anything. He let go of her hand, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He wasn't sure if she wanted him to pursue her now, if she broke up with Finn because of him. He would have to be patient, he didn't want to overwhelm her. He didn't know if she had still fully forgiven him or even wanted to be with him at all. She had asked him to stay, but he still planned on leaving in January, on the reasoning that she would probably tell him to go in a few weeks and that she changed her mind. That was what he anticipated anyway. She probably thought the kiss was a big regret after all. He was probably living on false hope, he told himself.

"Anyway, these are for you!" she presented a glorious bouquet of flowers that had been hiding behind her back in her other hand. . He took them with a confused expression.

"Aren't these for Eliza?" he asked suddenly "you know, you don't give male leads flowers"

"Well,what was I supposed to do?" she snapped, jokingly angry. "And you're not a lead!"

"Hey!" he smirked back, setting the flowers by him on the table to give her full attention.

"Well I mean, you did get more clapping than anyone"

"Really?"

"You're so oblivious, but it was mostly me clapping for you" she teased

"Ya, you liked it then?" he asked, standing up and coming closer to her. He was very aware that she was a mere two feet away from him. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to just pull her into his arms, but he had to keep his feelings in check. Just because she was single, did not at all mean she wanted to be with him. He could still hope though.

"Jesse it was amazing. You're right, I shouldn't have gotten you flowers, but I didn't know what else" she sighed.

"I love that you're here, that's enough" he commented letting his vulnerability show for a second. He edged closer to her. She hoped he would make a move. She had thought she would tell him to back off, that she wasn't interested, but now faced with him here, after that exhilarating performance, she just wanted to be in his arms. She wanted his embrace and his lips on her. He backed away, leaning against the prop table holding a parasol and one of Eliza's many hats as well as a pair of slippers. The stage hands cleared onto the stage and they were left alone. She blushed from the comment and waited for him to say more.

"Well I'm glad you came" he commented, looking away from her. "But-"

"Are you nervous?" she asked, noting the change.

"No" he lied.

"You're acting weird" she commented

"I'm an actor" he shot back.

"Jesse, you were all happy and fun a second ago" she didn't dare mention he was also complimenting her intensely.

"Well" he paused, thumbing the neon green glow tape on the prop table and staring at the word 'slippers' written on it. "I don't know what to do" he commented, looking back up into her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked, unaware that her voice was now a whisper.

"You said you're not with Finn, right?" he paused "You know I like you, I don't know if I'm supposed to back off or be ridiculously forward, which is what I want to do" he confessed and she nodded.

"Well I don't know what I want, I'll be honest." she commented

"It's fine, I shouldn't have mentioned it"

"No, it's not fair to you" she rejected and he shook his head.

"It's not _fair_ to the stage to go to waste. So, are you going to sing with me or not?" he teased, she smiled in response and before she could say 'yes' or ask if they were allowed, he grabbed her by the wrist onto the stage.

"Don't worry no one is here. Hold on " he clicked a switch behind the curtain, disappearing for a moment. A blinding spotlight flooded to the middle of the stage with a gold bubble of light encasing Rachel.

"What happened to my tour?" she asked, teasing when he reappeared to her left, standing close enough to take her hand.

"Well the balcony holds 150 people" As he motioned to the gallery, they brushed hands for an instant, but enough to make her flush pink.

"Are you sure we can sing?" she changed the topic, not wanting to draw attention to the contact and forgetting her comment about a tour.

"Come on, don't waste the stage, it's asking for it. "

"Fine" she pretended to give in when it was all she wanted to do. She was glad he was back to his usual confident self, she didn't know how to act when he was nervous or shy. She was fascinated and terrified of her effect on him.

"What song?" he asked

"You're going to make me pick, aren't you?" she teased. He nodded with a big smile, keeping quiet. He wondered if she would pick a love duet for them, his breath caught, waiting for her response.

"I can't think on the spot" she countered "and the last musical I saw was Dirty Dancing"

"How about Time of my Life?" he asked and he spun to face her, taking her hand lightly in his.

"I don't know it well enough" she answered back, aware full well that it was a love song.

"Let's practice"

"But we don't have music" she protested.

"You're making excuses"

"You're right.I am. Fine"

"May I have this song?" he asked in his british '_freddy_' accent ,with a bow and she did a curtsy, her short olive green skirt and tight grey cardigan a contrast to his freddy costume, which he still hadn't taken off.

"Yes" she responded, taking his other hand in hers. His voice started deep, singing the lyrics, his eyes never moving for an instant away from hers. She flushed with a huge smile at his words and his voice, feeling butterflies break out of their cocoons in her stomach and take wind to flutter up through her body. She prepared herself and started singing back to him.

"'Cause I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you"

"Damn I forgot my jacket" Will said aloud," Wait here, I'll be a second" he instructed to Emma, running back up the stairs from the lobby of the theater. He pushed open the huge door leading to the balcony and searched for his seat again, not glancing to the couple on the stage, who's song filled the whole theater. He found his seat quickly and located his jacket on the floor under his seat. He stopped for a second, thinking about the voice that was singing the end of 'Time of my life' and could've sworn it was Rachel's. He stood up, telling himself there was no way. His was shocked at the scene before him, but he was unable to look away from the illuminated pair.

The music stopped in their minds with no accompaniment as the lyrics ran out.

"I missed that" she whispered lightly, fixed on the blue shades in his eyes and watching the beautiful blend of colors.

"Is that my cue?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with happiness, even though the comment was cheesy. He knew she wouldn't mind though.

"To do what?" she asked.

He leaned forward a few inches. He planted a soft kiss on her lips, holding on with eyes closed for an instant. He pulled away a few centimeters to gauge her reaction.

"Oh" she responded. She stopped for a moment before grabbing his costume's lapels and to yank him hard against her, leading her lips to meet his. He responded quickly greedily capturing her in his arms like he imagined doing all those months . His arms floated through her hair, one coming to rest on her neck, pulling her deeper into the passionate kiss and the other on her back to hold her close. He felt her arms wrap around his neck to exclude any possible closeness between them.

She pushed off his lips, to catch her breath.

"Jesse" she breathed as he began kissing her neck. She was red from blushing, ecstatic about the trail of kisses his sweet lips planted on her neck. She grew passionate, heated as his lips brushed over her neck and up to behind her ear .

"What?" he whispered back into her ear. His voice hot in her skin, sending good shivers up her spine. She forced him to look at her, grabbing his face in her hands. She pulled him towards her, wanting his lips on hers again. She knew it was wrong, she did just break up with Finn a week ago, but she could not get enough of Jesse. She pressed her lips against his, starting another session of heated kissing.

They pulled away minutes later.

"I'm sorry, I-" she shook her head, dizzy from her emotions reeling up inside her.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, but they could be heard through the whole theater.

"Well what if someone's here? It's not fair to Finn" she lamented, breathing heavy.

"Hey, no one's here. It's deserted, I promise. And he wont' know. I won't tell him" he responded and she nodded.

"Sorry about this, I should go" she announced, reluctant.

"I know" he replied. His hand traveled down her neck, along the arm that held onto him, tracing her forearm lightly, making goose bumps appear. His hand made it's way towards hers, pulling hers off him and taking one in his hand. His other hand stayed glued to the small of her back. He led her back towards backstage, not even letting go as he turned off the spot in the stage.

Will Schuester crept through the aisles on the balcony quickly, not wanting to be seen. He hurried, wanting to get out of the lobby and the theater before Jesse or Rachel arrived, or worse yet, both. When he reached the lobby, his jacket tucked under his arm, Emma stood waiting near the door.

"Sorry" he commented and she smiled lightly to say that she didn't mind. The lobby still flooded with people, talking with actors and the director, chatting about the show and enjoying a few snacks set out for the opening night crowd. He spotted Shelby amongst one of the tables of food as Jesse approached her, Rachel following close behind, but not holding hands at the moment. He heard Rachel's dads call towards her.

"Just got a tour of the stage" she offered back an explanation and Will shook his head, disapproving, though they couldn't see him, behind a wall of people, he watched them through a space between the crowd in front of him. And could hear almost everything.

"Jesse!" Shelby exclaimed, pulling him into a congratulatory hug. "You were amazing" she offered the kind words with a smile. He grinned back, his hair still damp with gel for the show and his light stage make up not even taken off yet, though he had changed out of the old fashioned costume.

"Let's go" Will offered, taking Emma's hand in his, they left the theater and the drama behind.

* * *

Rachel reached home at 11 and glanced over reading for the coming day. She sat down at her table, ready to concentrate on the mundane facts of cell mitosis when her phone started ringing her most favorite broadway song, of that week. Inspired naturally, by My Fair Lady: Wouldn't it be Loverly. She picked it up on the second ring.

"Hello?" she asked, without looking at the caller ID. She didn't even have to, to know it was him.

"Hey" Jesse answered back, his voice deep and she felt herself get instantly warm, chills running up her spine. her heart picked up speed. "Just wanted to thank you again for coming" he breathed

"Oh ya?" she asked, teasing in her tone.

"And I wanted to hear your voice" he confessed and he could hear a smile in her voice.

"Well this is more exciting than my science homework" she said back. "Cell mitosis, yawn"

"I'm going to be forward and say I miss you" he responded and she smiled even bigger, rouge appearing on her cheeks, thank goodness he couldn't see her in her star and moon matching pyjamas.

"Thank you" she said back shyly "and I shouldn't but I miss you"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"Finn and I _did_ break up last week" she commented.

"The heart wants what the heart wants."He paused, letting her digest the quote. "Shelby told me that. I don't think she thought it would lead me to stay here for an extra 4 months, but It's still true"

"She's wise" Rachel commented "I still cannot believe you stayed for 4 months." She wanted to add 'for me' but resisted.

"You're worth it" he responded and she went silent, falling deeper and deeper for him, from just his words. She went silent, her face too big of a smile to even say anything.

"Rachel?

"Still here" she replied "I just-"

"What?" he asked

"I don't know, this doesn't feel right" she commented "I feel guilty, Finn last week and now this, you I mean making out and this conversation even-"

"Can you phrase it a way that doesn't make me feel cheap?" he teased back.

"I need to find my feet before you sweep me off of them, ok?" she asked and could hear a smile in his voice.

"Certainly. But I can still talk to you right?"

"Oh you better" she teased back.

Their conversation continued for hours. They established that they wouldn't go out for a few weeks, if they could hold off that long and try to keep things light. They wanted things to be better this time. At 1 her father gave her a final warning for bed and she had to say goodbye and delve into a half hour of reading cell mitosis, not remembering a word since all she could think about was Jesse St. James.

* * *

"Rachel, can you stay behind?" Will asked, approaching her at her seat in the front row, following glee club.

"Sure" she offered back, with a broad smile. She was bubbly and hyper today, her song was near perfection, as she had sung a very inspired "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow".

She jumped out of her seat, heading towards the piano and playing a quick impromptu melody with three keys as the rest of the class left.

"How is everything?'" he asked, closing the door to allow some privacy. No wonder she had supposed their relationship was less than professional, he was stuck in the middle of caring teacher and worried instructor, it was tiring.

"Great" she beamed back, not showing a sign of a lie. She smiled broadly, clearly it was the truth. He wouldn't beat around the bush.

"Rachel, I know things must be tough with you and Finn" he began, expecting her to say something but she nodded. he would just have to say it. "But I don't think you're acting correctly"

"Excuse me?" she asked, her tone switching form the bubbly way to one that did not want to be told what to do, about Finn of all things.

"You have to consider his feelings" Shu began again, leafing through some sheet music atop the piano and looking over at her. "You can't just -"

"I can't what?" she asked.

"I saw you" he responded "on the stage, after My Fair Lady. With Jesse." he clarified and her face turned to one of knowing shock.

"I-" she stuttered, she hasn't wanted to be seen by anyone, let alone someone who could tell Finn. She felt bad enough moving on a week after, as it was. Especially with Jesse.

"And I'm not going to judge or tell you how to treat your relationships" he paused "but I don't think it's fair to either of them and I mean, to treat Finn like that, with Jesse of all people especially after what Jesse did to you"

"That's my choice" Rachel snapped. "I can forgive Jesse if I like"

"I know" Shu defended "But do you really want to be someone who treats their boyfriend like that? You need to be honest with Finn"

"Excuse me?" she snapped "I didn't cheat on Finn" she defended.

"Rachel, however you justify it, your actions are still not-" he began, but she cut him off. She stood from the piano stool quickly, standing and taking a defensive stance.

"Finn and I broke up" she retorted "last week, the day you assigned us that duet" she explained.

"Rachel, I-" Will was at a loss for words.

"Mr Shu, I tried to tell you that I couldn't sing with Finn" she defended."You didn't wonder why our chemistry was worse than a bath sponge?"

"I'm sorry, I made an assumption" he confessed "but you said on the stage, you didn't want Finn to know"

"I still care about his feelings, I'm not about to flaunt my new relationship in front of him after only a week of being apart" she explained "I have to go" she announced, slamming the door on her way out. He stood in the choir room, and feeling thwarted and like the student and not the educator.

Rachel was furious, her feet pounded the hall as she walked towards her locker, feeling the weight and heaviness of each step. She was angry that Shu was so condescending and had the audacity to tell her how to live her life without knowing the facts.

* * *

"What did he want?" Finn asked, popping up beside her at her locker.

"What do you want?" she retorted, her anger still present from the meeting with Shu.

"I get that you don't want to be with me. That we're done. I'm not over it or anything, but he's right, we do sing together like every week"

"You're saying we should be civil?" she asked and he nodded, doe eyed.

"Fine" she accepted, extending a hand for a handshake. He took it and they shook lightly.

"Excuse me, I should go" she offered, moving past him with the same anger in her step. In fact, her anger didn't dissipate until an hour later, during math when Jesse texted:

"Miss you. 8pm? Phone Duet?" she smiled at the text and texted back a confirmation of plans, excited. As ready as she was to be done with Finn, she would hate to cause him more pain than necessary and for him to know that she was already pining and missing Jesse St. James more than reminiscing and crying over Finn Hudson. She hadn't done that yet. At all.

* * *

Authors note: Got any ideas to share? Tell me them and I might write them in. Thanks for reading this far.

3 St. Berry.


	6. Just You and Me and The English Channel

She told herself she wasn't that kind of girl, one to move on so quickly. In the upcoming days, the reality of it all hit her and she spent hours surrounded by tissues, her eyes red and sore from the vast amount of water pouring out of her soul. But her want for Jesse would not be ignored. She had told him she couldn't see him, that it would be better if they just talked for a while, to give her space and to come to terms with her break up with Finn, but four days after she had said it, she couldn't hold it in any longer, she needed to see Jesse. It was eating her up inside.

She dialed his number, holding a newspaper review of My Fair Lady as an excuse to call not that she even needed one anymore, their calls were frequent, every day in fact, lasting at least 2 hours and sometimes as long as 4.

He picked up the third ring and she started the conversation without the usual hello or how are you, since she knew almost everything that was going on in his life and could guess he was preparing for that night's show, that he was stressed but happy and he was glad to hear from her.

"So I'm reading the paper" she began

"Yup, I'm listening" he responded, putting the phone on his shoulder and squishing it with his ear, to have two free hands. He tackled stage foundation and lathered on the beige colored cream onto his face, the show would begin in an hour and 15 minutes.

"and it has a review for my fair lady" his hands stopped rubbing in the cream.

"You're pausing" he commented

"You know you were fantastic" she snapped back. "It reads 'James is one of the rising stars. The last addition to the show, the director spoke highly about being able to work with the young man and the crowd simply adores the Vocal Adrenaline graduate as the love-able Freddy with a voice that makes you wonder: What is wrong with Eliza?"

"Wow" Jesse commented back, picking up the phone and holding it to his ear as he rummaged through the theatre make up bag for the eye liner he dreaded putting on, but it was show business and the definition of his eyes might not even be seen with the lighting and effects of this show were it not for the unfortunate make up.

"and it says you and the leading lady have the best chemistry" Rachel responded, she sounded jealous. "Any comments?" she asked, wondering how he would take it.

"I should hope so. You're my only leading lady from now on" he answered, not even trying to be deliciously charming.

"Jesse" she sighed deeply, missing him.

"What?" he asked, a smile in his voice as he looked his costume up and down in the mirror.

"When can I see you?" she asked seriously, not able to hold back anymore.

"Tonight? Tomorrow? Any time" he responded, almost too quickly.

"Tomorrow" she confirmed "What should we do?"

"There's a free swing dance class at the community center"

"How do you know that by heart?" she asked back.

"I've been keeping the date options open" he confessed.

"Well what else have you seen that's worthy of us?"

"There's always karaoke, the outdoor cinema, they're showing the old Phantom of the Opera tomorrow and-"

"You can't know this all from memory" she combatted

"I have been planning out a date" he responded

"Well then take me on it tomorrow"

"I'll see you at 5, dress formally" he instructed and she bubbled with anticipation. "Rachel, are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Will it be that amazing?" she teased his ego.

"Yes." he paused, his laughter filling her up with happiness too. "But you know what I"m asking" he answered, seriously.

"I'm not saying I'm going to broadcast it to Finn-"

"Rachel, will it be ok?"

"Jesse, tomorrow cannot come soon enough" she answered back genuinely and he felt his heart skip a beat.

"I have to go, we're doing vocal warm ups. See you tomorrow."

"Break a leg" she responded before hanging up the phone. It had been their shortest conversation yet.

Jesse couldn't wait for the coming day, but reluctantly pushed the date from his mind as he strutted out onto the stage, his accent surging through and his acting marveling even the most intense non-believers. He forced the comment of his chemistry with Eliza out of his mind and let the thoughts break through his mental dam when he stepped off stage, waiting until his next scene. He paced the dressing room, unable to stop his mind from jumping to expectations about the upcoming evening. He went home that night, his mind still heavy with thoughts and thanked that tomorrow was his day off from the play, until they had their final three nights and closed. He knew the upcoming audition dates for Sweeney Todd and he was sure their names were already written on the parts. He would convince her, probably easily, that they should audition.

* * *

Rachel adjusted her half ponytail in the mirror, pulling the hair out of her face and checking her reflection in the casual, cocktail like dress. She rushed down the stairs, not wanting him to wait too long since ringing the door bell.

"Bye Dads" she called, pulling the door open to greet Jesse. He was dressed in a black collared shirt, a thin blue tie gleaming in contrast. The blue on his tie illuminated the color in his eyes and she couldn't help but think how good he looked. His black jeans dressed him down, but not enough. She stared at him in welcoming shock.

"You look great" she expressed. He looked cross.

"What are you doing, stealing my lines!" he responded and she smiled. He produced a bouquet of flowers from behind him and she took it in her hand, thanking him with a kiss on the cheek. She lingered for a moment, taking in the scent of his cologne and wanting just to take him upstairs and by pass the date all together for a heated night.

"I should put these in water" she stuttered, turning away through the open door. He waited at the door, and she reappeared moments later, having added pearls in an attempt to dress herself up. It failed.

"You really meant formal" she commented, as she linked her arm in his. He led her towards his car. He held the door for her as she climbed in and then the car kicked into motion and he headed towards a park.

"Where are we going?" she asked " I like to have a plan and be able to think things through" she commented and he smiled at her comment, but didn't respond.

"Seriously, tell me" she asked again, reaching over from her passenger seat and taking his hand that rested on the clutch. He took her hand in his, driving with one.

"Don't distract me" he evaded and she pursed her lips to show she was angry.

"Tell me" she pleaded, turning his hand over in hers and etching lines that a palm reader would follow.

"First is a picnic in the park" he confessed, finally, taking his hand back as they reached his destination and put the car in park. He took her hand after opening the door for her and they walked to the trunk where he grabbed a picnic basket. She had visions of the first time she kissed Finn, but she blocked them out merely by looking at Jesse in his outfit.

"A picnic? really?" she asked, trying to hide her skepticism.

"Don't worry, Finn wont see us" he promised. "or Mr. Shu" he added and she threw him a smile, following him up a paved path that led up a hill.

"You're making me hike in a dress" she feigned anger, but he knew better and planted a kiss on her cheek to stop her complaining.

"It'll be worth it" he commented. "I can carry you, If you _really _want" he offered but she laughed it off, racing ahead of him up the hill.

The look out was hidden from view, a giant rock structure, six meters in every direction, but it overlooked the east and an already beginning to set sun. A semi circle of tees formed behind them, but the east was free and the already setting sun could be seen. He set up a blanket ( black with silver music notes, which she adored already) and set out some food. He seated himself and waited for her to join him. They sat in each others arms after having eaten baguette with french cheese, hot apple cider and individual pot pies. She popped a grape into her mouth, leaning back into his arms as the sun dipped down off the edge of the earth, losing another 2 inches of golden light to the world.

She lifted her head and placed a grape in his mouth, then leaned back against his chest.

"Thanks" he commented, but he hadn't even asked for the grapes. "But if you weren't hogging the grapes you wouldn't have to feed me" he joked and she straightened up in his embrace.

"I am not" she commented, placing another grape in his mouth so he couldn't respond.

"How did you find this place?" she asked, changing the topic quickly.

"I used to come here and scream when I was stressed, then I started to sing here. No one could see me, but everyone could hear me, it felt mysterious"

"You think you're so mysterious, all in black" she teased back.

"I'm wearing blue!" he countered but she just smiled in response.

"And you look so handsome" she commented. His eyes lingered on her lips for an instant, wanting to pull her in, but he looked back up at the sun set and continued his interrupted monologue.

"I was thinking it would be the perfect place for a theater, but I never got into it. I wanted to build something, just was always too busy with glee"

"It's gorgeous" she nodded, eating another grape while looking at the view.

"Hey, pass me a grape" he responded and she leaned forward, planting a kiss on his lips before eating the last of the grapes.

"Well that's just cruel" he responded, pulling closer into his arms. He kissed her gently, his hands moving to her waist and gripping her into his embrace. Her hands wound to the back of his head, gripping his silky soft hair as she pushed herself onto him. He lost his balance and fell backwards with her on top of him. She kissed his neck before balancing herself above him, staring into his eyes.

He got suddenly serious.

"I'm sorry" he commented and she stared at him curious. "that it took me loosing you to know I had to have you back" he offered with a sad smile.

"It's in the past" she commented, planting a quick kiss on his check.

"I was horrible" he continued. "And I haven't even made it up to you"

"Jesse, we've moved past it."

"I love you" he offered back "and I need to make it up to you. I mean I can't imagine letting you go, not after all that. I'm so genuinely sorry" he commented and she swelled with tears. She leaned down and kissed him in response. He kissed back with passion, so glad to finally have her back into his arms. He pulled his strength, rolling them so he was on top of her. He pulled away from their heated kiss to plant a trail of kisses down her neck. Rachel pulled him towards her, reaching for his lips with hers. He brushed his lips against her for an instant, moving to kiss her cheek. She could feel the weight of his hands on her waist through the soft fabric of her dress and wrapped her hands around his neck, yanking at his hair and pulling his lips towards hers. His lips crashed against her with intensity and she could feel the weight of his body on her. He pulled up off her, propping himself up on his elbows and planted a soft kiss on her lips before staring in to her hers. They were both breathing heavy. MOments of silence passed. His thoughts reeled on what had just occurred, he was surprised that they had even stopped. She blushed with a smile as she thought of it and loved how he made her feel.

"I can't say it back yet" she confessed and he nodded, rolling onto his back, so that he lay beside her, they looked at the sky and he took her hand in his.

"I don't even care" he responded. "But let me know if we're going too fast, ok?" he asked and she nodded, feeling like kicking up her legs in the air and screaming and jumping up and down form his attention, from his words, his passion.

"What's next?" she breathed, watching the somewhat darkness of the sky above them.

"I figured we could catch the end of Phantom of the Opera at the out-door and then Karaoke?" he asked "but if you don't want to"

"I do" she replied,unable to force her huge smile off her face.

"Let's go?" he asked unsure, still holding her hand in his, laying beside her on the blanket.

"No, lets stay here a bit, it's so nice" she replied, leaning her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes and taking in the perfection of the moment.

The car drove into the dark out door cinema. The last half hour of the black and white film remained. They pulled in beside teens in their trucks making out and looked at the archaic film above them.

"Well we were meant to catch more of it" Jesse sighed, taking his hand off the wheel after parking the car. He took her hand in his across from his seat and she smiled to him.

"It's fine, the stars were great" she responded and he nodded. The terrifying phantom of the opera in black and white belted his lines of the finale song and Jesse looked at her, not caring for the movie.

"And the making out was pretty good" he added and she laughed lightly in response.

"Certainly worth missing the phantom" she replied with a blushing smile, his gaze still on her, making her blush even harder. He suppressed the urge to laugh at her embarrassment and forced speech.

"Would you rather go to the karaoke bar?" he asked and she smiled.

"Would I ever say no to that?" she asked back.

He leaned over from his seat and planted a kiss on her lips. They leaned heads together, in their own thoughts for a moment. He forced himself to pull away and started the car, grabbing her hand in his once he had changed to the proper gear. They drove towards the bar in silence, but it was far from awkward. She couldn't take the smile off her face if she had wanted to.

"You pick the song, I'll grab some drinks" she offered and he nodded, kissing her on the cheek before heading towards the stage through the main aisle of the dimly lit bar that had once been a place for washed up talent and comedians to share their piece.

She approached the concession just as the main door clicked open with a bell to bring in more costumers.

"Hey!" FInn announced joyously, coming towards her at the bar.

"Oh hey" she commented, hoping he didn't see Jesse up on the stage.

"Pepsi" she instructed to the cashier "Well two" she commented in a quieter tone.

"I was hoping to see you" Finn commented and she smiled, nodding.

"Rachel, I kinda want to talk to you" he smiled softly, coming closer to her.

"Finn, I don't have much time" she answered back, getting anxious. She didn't want to glance up to the stage, knowing Jesse was there, lest Finn follow her gaze.

Jesse could see nothing of the crowd with the blinding light in his eyes. He glanced down at the computer to find a song. He looked up to find Rachel, but the crowd was just shadows from where he stood on stage.

"Rachel, can you sing with me or something, I think we, I mean I over reacted about the whole Jesse thing, I kinda want to try us again"

"Hey, start the show" someone yelled in the crowd behind them.

"What?" she asked, dumbfounded. She grabbed the pepsis and spun to face him.

"I want you back" he responded, confirming it, staring at her with a blank expression on his face, waiting for her response.

"Well if my girlfriend would get on stage, we could start the song" Jesse's voice carried from the stage. Finn's eyes shot up the stage. Rachel bit her lip in horror, glancing to meet Jesse's eyes. He waved from the stage, straddling a mich from his other hand.

"I've got to go" Rachel responded

"Seriously?" Finn asked and watched in horror as Rachel made her way to the stage.

She placed her pespsies at their table along the way and climbed the steps to the short stage. Jesse pulled her up with a helping hand and pulled her close, planting a kiss on her cheek. She stared at the shadow she knew was Finn, in horror.

"Ready?" he asked, coming forward into the spotlight with her hand in his, towards the michs.

She cupped the mich and leaned into Jesse's ear.

"Finn is here" she whispered and his face mirrored shock. He stared into the shapes into the crowd and waved a cocky wave towards the crowd.

"Well then I should re-pick" he whispered back not bothering to cover his mich. He walked two feet and changed his option from "All I Ask Of You" on the computer.

He came back a second later, standing close beside her, their shoulders touching. He could tell she was uncomfortable about it, glancing to the crowd where she knew Finn watched, every few seconds.

"Rach, focus on the song, please" Jesse pleaded, but she knew he was asking for her to focus on him.

"What was the song before?" she whispered, covering the mich.

"All I Ask of You"

"Aww" she commented, smiling for an instant. "Thanks for switching it" she commented and he nodded. Holding off from kissing her on the cheek like he wanted to.

The lyrics appeared on the screen and she stared at him in horror.

"Jesse" the crowd heard her through the mich.

"It's your turn" he responded, not letting his annoyance show. She shouldn't have cared what Finn thought anyway.

Finn watched them, anger fuming as Jesse and Rachel held hands in the spotlight, singing "I Got You Babe" to each other in perfect melody. He gritted his teeth, wondering how long he had lost her for and hating himself for being preoccupied with Quinn long enough for Jesse to make his move. He had never treated her like Jesse had and yet he lost her to _him_. He was growing with anger and stormed out of the bar quickly, not able to take another moment of the sickening couple singing the song in perfect harmony.

Jesse leaned forward to her, as he sang the song. She wrenched her hand from his and the song finished, a foot between them. He got down from the stage without helping her and walked towards their seat.

"Jesse?" she asked cautiously as they reached the table.

"I had this evening planned" he expressed, sighing and grabbing his drink. He seated himself in a chair and cringed as a tone deaf girl tried to sing Pocketful of Sunshine up on the stage.

"I'm sorry" Rachel confessed, looking behind her to see if Finn was still there.

"It's fine, I don't mind changing it, I just-" he sighed deeply, burying his feelings. "Nothing" he promised, not being honest to his own anger and annoyance. He stood and placed a half sincere kiss on her lips.

"Wanna get out of here?" he asked and she knew the question asked if she wanted to be taken home.

"Fine" she responded, and she could tell he was hiding something. They didn't pass Finn on their way out and she was glad, but couldn't hep but be slightly annoyed at Jesse's second choice of song, it did flaunt their relationship, which she had told him she was not ready to do.

Limited words were spoken in the car, just brief comments on musicals and My Fair Lady. They made no plans for the future, yet. He parked the car easily on the sidewalk, walking over to her side, he opened the door for her and walked her to the porch.

"Good night" he commented, feet away from her. A good night kiss was out of the question.

"Night" she smiled back, though she was preoccupied with thinking of why he had chosen that song, as if he had meant to flaunt everything in Finn's face, it wasn't as if he hadn't known he was there. She smiled and squeezed his hand in a goodbye.

"See you" she commented, though she didn't know when she would want to.

"Have _fun_ in Glee" he commented back, an undertone of anger or jealousy in his words. "I'll call you" he promised exasperated and headed back to his car. She watched his figure walk back in the darkness and hated how the date had ended, when it had started so well. She lamented, trying to focus on the beginning of the date, of the flowers, of how he looked, of their passion at the picnic, but Finn's disappointed face popped into her head and she could only imagine the hurt he had felt, knowing that Jesse _had her, babe._

_

* * *

_

"I cant believe you" Finn yelled at her the next day, as she grabbed books out of her locker. "And he freaking showed it off!" Finn added and Rachel looked sullen at the comment.

"I didn't want you to know" she confessed "We just went out for the first time last night"

"Ya, I believe that" Finn combatted. "He called you his girlfriend"

"Well we're just really intense" she responded "Its not your concern Finn" she snapped, getting frustrated with his emotions and more so that she cared. "I thought you cared about Quinn"

"I told you I want you back"

"As you can tell, I'm with Jesse"

"Ya, that'll end well" Finn snapped.

"Well, not for a while it wont" she stressed, closing her locker and walking away from him before he could say another word. Finn shot her angry looks all during glee club, but she paid no attention, waiting for a text from Jesse, but none came all day.

* * *

It was ten pm at night that day when her phone finally rang. She picked up cautiously.

"Hi" she answered, not trying to fake more happiness than she felt.

"Hi" he responded "Sorry" he commented.

"For what?" she specified

"Not calling" he clarified, he wasn't about to apologize for his actions at the bar.

"Right" she commented, clearly not pleased with his response.

"I was busy" he offered, but she caught the lie.

"You don't have rehearsal today" she snapped back.

"Well I didn't want to call, ok?" he asked, finally confessing.

"Fine" she responded, standing and pacing her room.

"You could've called me" he defended but she just scoffed.

"I don't need to apologize" she responded

"Are you kidding?" he shot back, disbelief heavy in his voice.

"Can we not get into this now?" she responded

"Fine" he commented "but you shouldn't be mad at me" he defended.

"Well you didn't call"

"It's been a day, did you miss me that much? I doubt it"

"Well I'd still like to hear from you" she responded

"Well you are now" he commented, not wanting to grow in anger but he couldn't help it.

"Look, let's just-" he started, sighing heavily.

"What?" she snapped, but his tone changed.

"I miss you" he commented "Let's not fight" he asked, hoping he could get over the event. She sighed heavily before responding.

"I missed you. I was hoping for a text all day"

"I was practicing my audition song" he commented "and preoccupying myself"

"Right. What are you auditioning for?"

"Sweeney Todd, its 5 days from now. You are coming with me"

"No, Jesse, I-"

"It's non negotiable. We have those parts written for us. You'll sing something Celine to audition and I'll do my classic audition song, we'll snag the parts, piece of cake" he assured and she smiled at the confidence in his voice.

"Can't wait" she responded, looking forward to it. She walked to her calender and placed the audition on the date, looking forward to it.

"Well I should go" she commented, staring at the reading she still had to attend to.

"I want to see you" he responded and she smiled at the comment.

"Tomorrow? 5 pm The new cafe in the mall? First floor?" he asked

"I'll be there" she responded.

She hung up the phone with a big smile, glad things were mended. She set to work and got excited at the prospect of an audition. Her phone beep caught her attention and she read a text from Jesse, her heart swelling from his words.

"I forgot to mention how gorgeous you looked the other day."

"You looked dangerously good yourself" she texted back.

"Thank you, have a good night" the text replied and she smiled to herself, setting the phone aside, waiting for another text as she worked through the school work, but went to sleep without the satisfaction of another text from him.

* * *

When they arrived to the cafe, Rachel noticed Quinn and Puck fighting in the corner and thought how it must be so embarrassing. She heard snippets of their elevated voices yelling and could assume the rest.

"Well I'm sorry, I couldn't-" Puck paused, unraveling the paper of his coffee cup.

"I know, you couldn't resist" Quinn finished for him, nodding.

Silence fell even though Puck should've been apologizing at that moment. Jesse and Rachel stood in line to order drinks. He had kissed her lightly on the cheek when they greeted, but it wasn't heartfelt and she knew it. She had already decided what she wanted to drink and was consumed in watching Puck and Quinn, not paying attention to Jesse beside her. He was glancing at the pastries, deciding if he wanted a cookie or oat bar or not, not noticing that Rachel was distracted.

"I'm surprised we lasted the summer" Quinn confessed and Puck looked at her with shocked eyes.

"You meant a lot" he responded "Sorry" he added, but his heart didn't seem to be into it.

"Have fun being a stud again" she smiled, getting up. She kissed him a sad goodbye kiss before leaving the cafe. He watched her retreating figure with an expression of sadness but then rose easily and headed in the opposite direction.

Jesse put down his cash, ordering for them. Rachel went silent, watching him and wondering why this was so hard. She wanted to reach out to him and talk to him, but she could only help thinking that seeing each other so soon after the karaoke wasn't a good idea. She needed time to get over it. They walked in silence towards two big chairs and a love seat circling a round table. He took a seat in a chair, when had he been in a better mood would've shared the love seat with her. She sat down in the other chair and he handed her drink. Had it been two days ago, they would've been seated side by side, breaking the barriers of contact and personal space.

"Thanks" she commented meekly, drinking it to avoid saying anything else. He sipped his coffee, looking around the coffee shop. He smiled to her lightly and forced his words out.

"So" he started knowing it shouldn't be this awkward. "How was glee today?" he asked for lack of a better subject but honestly didn't want to hear about Finn.

"It was fine" Rachel commented, memories of Finn singing to her, surfacing. He breathed an exasperated sigh and put his coffee down in front of him, looking at her for what seemed to be the first time.

"What's it going to take for us to be ok?" he asked.

"Well an apology would work" she said kindly.

"You honestly think I'm the one that needs to apologize?" he fumed back.

"What did I do?" she snapped back, aware that their voices were raising in the mall cafe.

"Well apparently you don't even notice" Jesse snapped.

"Tell me what you think I need to apologize for, but I wasn't the one who showed off, picking _that_ song to flaunt our relationship" she responded bitterly. "When you knew I wasn't ready."

"you seem to care so much about how Finn feels."

"I didn't want him to know."

"Thanks for sparing_ his_ feelings" Jesse snapped back. She grew with anger but tried to keep her head clear of emotion.

"Well,you don't seem to care that your actions were honestly horrible" she accused in return.

"is that what you think?" he combatted.

"Did you select that song on purpose or not?" she asked.

"Yes I did" he confessed, still bitter. "So what?"

"I mean, to pick that song and -"

"should I have left it on All I Ask of You? or what, you just didn't want Finn to know all together. Or anyone for that matter. Should I go _apologize to him?_" he breathed sarcastically.

"Well you shouldn't have been so insensitive"

"That's funny" he snapped in return.

"What!" she demanded.

"Just because I'm happy to be with you I'm insensitive? I can't be sorry for that" he responded, exasperated.

"You don't get it" she countered, shaking her head.

"No, You don't Rachel. You don't even see that you have to apologize" he accused.

"What the hell have I done?" she defended back.

"Well, not cared about me"

"Don't be so dramatic" she snapped.

"You're one to talk." came his crisp reply.

"I told you, my need to be a star overshadows everything" she expressed.

"Ya maybe," he breathed heavily "is that why you let me pursue you during the summer? Or is it that you just want to be wanted"

"What?" she asked defensively.

"Ya I'm sure you're loving the attention from Finn now too" he snapped, attacking her.

"It's not about him!" she defended.

"Yes it is, you care more about his feelings than mine!" Jesse spluttered out the truth of how he felt.

"That's not true! I'm with you" she reasoned, but still felt the truth of his statement.

"Then think, how do I feel?"

"I dunno, like a show off?" she asked, her tone husky with sarcasm.

"Rachel, remember why I didn't leave Ohio?" she stayed quiet at the rhetorical question.

"Exactly!" he shouted back "and you don't even care. Poor Finn all you care about. You realize the sooner he knows the sooner he'll get over it. But you wouldn't like that, you want us guys falling over each other for you. You don't even care about our feelings" he accused, getting up, his chair scratched against the cafe floor. He slammed the chair in under the table and breathed deeply, fuming with anger.

"Jesse don't make a scene" she begged, though she kind of loved the attention, everyone's eyes were on them. Had been for the whole fight.

"I told you I stayed here for you, I waited, I'm not going to act like the victim but now that I've gotten you back I sure as hell want to flaunt it! Sorry if I hurt his feelings. But you honestly should not be caring this much" he glanced at her with pain in his eyes. He glanced at her speechless and shook his head, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. He sauntered out of the cafe without another glance at her.

She watched him leave and felt like a child who had been discovered at breaking something. She wanted to cry or scream or something. Her mouth opened to say something, but he was gone and so were her words. Eyes in the cafe were still on her. She grabbed her coffee slowly and left the cafe, not daring to follow him.

* * *

Her pillow held stains of tears that night and she lifted her head as her phone beeped. She rose herself out of bed weakly, wanting it to be him, wishing it was, but she was disappointed. A text from Finn, she didn't even bother to open it and turned the volume up on her soundtrack of West Side Story before plopping down on her bed and feeling the water drain out her eyes once again. She wanted to call him, to apologize, to say it was all alright, to hold him in her arms and feel his lips against hers, to relive the passionate moments had on the picnic, but it was no use. She was a coward and couldn't bring herself to contact him, so instead she swallowed her pain. She listened to her music with dreams of being a star and tried her force her mind way from him and how much he had given up to be with her.

Jesse forced himself into his singing, practicing his audition song options past perfection, spending hours rehearsing songs for the final days of My Fair Lady, though there really was no need. He learned 7 new songs on the piano and sung along to them for hours on end, not letting his mind be reminded of the disappointment he felt, not letting himself get caught up with the life he could have, had he left for LA. He wouldn't let himself wonder where he would be in a few months, not knowing if he would rather be here with her or in LA with the bright lights and University education. He practiced beyond compare so that each night he was exhausted and his thoughts were far from Rachel Berry and sleep would engulf him easily when he finally reached home.

* * *

In Glee, Rachel and Finn were paired together in the upcoming musical number of " Hit the Road, Jack". Mr Shu said it would be great to have prepared for an assembly or the upcoming competitions. None the less, it meant spending more time singing with Finn. She met him after school, counting the days since the fight with Jesse, 4 days. 4 days with no contact, nothing and it was driving her insane. She was a noticeable wreck in glee, her fashion hit an all time low and she barely had the strength to preform her weekly assignment or defend herself against Kurt and the cheerleader's attacks on her fashion. She felt as if she wasn't worth her song, for surely Jesse would change his mind and leave her in January. Leave her for university and to be a star, she was surprised he had even chosen to stay for the first term. Then she would be left with a Jesse shaped pain in her heart and no surprise. By then Finn would have moved on.

"Hey can you focus?" Finn asked, snapping her back to reality.

"I know you must be day dreaming about Jesse or whatever" Finn relayed angrily "but we're supposed to be singing this song" he commented and she nodded, forcing her attention back on him.

"Of course, just distracted"

"What's with you lately anyway?" he asked, not daring to mention her lack of make up, hair combing or fashion sense.

"Just a lot on my mind" she responded, not wanting him to revel in her pain and her fight with Jesse. She had thrown on a dress and a sweater with a teddy bear on it, not caring if they matched and shoved her hair into a ponytail, too distraught about Jesse to think about dressing well, even if he wasn't there after all.

"Just sing" she instructed, forcing herself to stop thinking about Jesse and how bad she felt about it, but about the song and task at hand. She impulsively checked her phone again, for the 50th time that hour, yet there was no sign of Jesse. She pocketed it and sang back to Finn, holding in the pain she felt.

She stayed back in the auditorium after Finn left, wanting to practice her audition piece. She still planned to go to the audition tomorrow, she would have to find the strength to, for performance if not for Jesse. She would dress well and she hoped she would see him there, but doubted if she would have the strength to comb her hair, let alone have the guts to perform Celine's "I Want You to Need Me" in the packed theatre. She doubted she would even show up at all.

* * *

The day of the auditions dawned. Rachel attended school and listened to Puck serenade Quinn in one of his latest songs, strumming on the guitar as he did so and the rest of the club didn't have to guess how badly he wanted her back. Rachel had flashbacks of when Finn sang Jesse's girl to her, but she blocked them out, still checking her phone every 5 minutes and wondering if she was going to go to the audition or not. Wondering if she was even Jesse's girl again. She had dressed in a tight maroon tank top and short black polka dot skirt with a lavish bow, hoping to impress the casting director and Jesse, if she saw him at the audition, if she did go after all.

She was thrilled at the idea of the audition and she knew she could play Mrs. Lovett in her sleep. She could easily imagine Jesse's hair slicked back with gel to be a devilishly handsome Sweeney. She could even picture holding his hand and singing a high pitched "By The Sea" but wondered if she just wanted to go in hopes of seeing him.

In the end, it was Shu's last remark in Glee that finally made up her mind for her.

"That's great puck" Shu commented as the bell rung behind him. "That song really expresses you, about going after what you really want" and then he announced "Don't forget, Next Time we're seeing Mercedes' and Britney's pieces."

Rachel swung her bag over her shoulder and left the school, asking her dad to drop her off at the theatre. She told him she would call when she needed a ride home and gave him a kiss on the cheek, leaving her belongings in the car and heading towards the dauntingly exciting prospect of an audition.

Jesse was no where to be seen when she entered. The house lights were up and the stage was in disarray, taking down the set from the already finished My Fair Lady. She had been so caught up in the fight, she hadn't even thought of how closing night had gone. She wanted to hold Jesse and tell him he was perfect, she wished she had been there, or had told him she supported him when she couldn't be. She forced the unpleasant regrets from her mind as she scanned the theatre for him, hoping to spot him in a trademark collared shirt and tie, his usual for on stage performances, but was left disappointed. She could hear a god awful audition song of "Memory" from Cats by the poor girl that surely would not get a call back, up on the stage. Too stereotypical, she was glad her song wasn't one too common or overheard by directors.

She headed down the aisles, following the signs that instructed her to turn left right before the stage stairs. She headed down a small hallway, turning right parallel to the stage and headed further backstage until she reached the green room. A dozen other actors were crowded around,some practicing monologues, others doing vocal exercises, some singing, covering one ear to better hear their tone. She moved past the crowd and glanced upon the time sheet. In surprise, she saw her name at the 4:00 slot, in Jesse's writing. She assumed he had written them up ages ago, before the fight surely. His name was written in the same writing right under her name at 4:15 and she hoped that he would show. She didn't know what she would say to him if she would see him, but she knew she just had to see him. It had been 5 days since the cafe, after all. Too much had happened in that time, things she should have been there with him for. She read through her english novel assignment as one by one, others went ahead of her. She heard her name at 5 past 4, as they were running late and stood, gathering confidence as she went. She performed her monologue first from the play Thanksgiving in the Wilderness. Then she moved onto her practiced song.

She belted the last note, watching the stage hands stop as she did and let a smile of confidence shine on her face. She outstretched her hand in passion to the director, screaming the last lines of her song and then took a deep breath in, waiting for more instruction.

"Very good" the woman called from the 5th row of the audience. "Rachel Berry, was it?" she clarified, which Rachel took as a great sign.

"Yes" she nodded with a broad theatrical smile.

"We'll let you know" came the classic response but Rachel beamed as she sauntered off the stage back towards the green room.

Jesse didn't have to check to know it was Rachel on the stage singing. He could recognize her voice anywhere. He left a soft smile creep to his face as he paced the green room, with only 4 others in the room. He wished he had time to speak to her, but it would have to wait. He sprinted towards the stage, passing her on his way. She stopped in her tracks.

"Jesse" she spoke softly, staring at him, the smile had not yet fallen from her face.

"ST JAMES" the director yelled from the audience again and he flashed Rachel a goofy smile before passing her towards the stage. She crossed her arms, holding herself in her hands as she leaned against the stage wing, watching him perform a near perfect audition song of "You Give Love a Bad Name." Rachel watched from behind stage, picking her nails as she did, feeling much like she did at regionals, hoping the song wasn't meant to be about her. She imagined a reel of negative conversations in her head, in which he told her he was going to LA in January and that would be the end. As he finished the song, a piece of lighting equipment fell from above him, about a meter from him. It gave everyone a fright and the director immediately hopped up on stage, cursing the neglecting stage hands, who were too busy checking out Jesse and trying to figure out if he was Freddy from My Fair Lady. He had been with top hat and costume, so it had been a debate among the two of them and they had dropped the light, the expensive equipment smashing to bits as Jesse's song came to a close.

"Sorry Jesse" the director commented "We'll call you back in a few for the monologue, alright?" she asked and he nodded, never dropping his show smile for an instant. He pivoted on his foot and started heading towards Rachel. He knew she had been watching, he expected to see her backstage watching him. He had one thing and only one thing to say to her, after all.

She set her mind to it, she couldn't stand the distance and lack of words between them. She was in serious Jesse withdrawal and knew she had to fix it. She watched him as he approached, feeling childish in her outfit compared to his black jeans and blue jean jacket over a band concert t-shirt. As he came close enough, she didn't bother to say hello, her words just spilled out of her, at the same time as his.

"Sorry about the-" she started

"Sorry for the song-" he began, their voices overlapping.

The apology was in unison, causing her to blush and stop talking, but he had too, both expecting the other to continue.

"Lets talk" he offered, taking her hand in his effortlessly, as if 5 days hadn't been spent in angry, dramatic passive aggressive silence. He led her to the costume room, two doors down from the green room. He shut the door behind him and leaned against it, watching her, waiting for her to speak.

"I missed you" she breathed before she she could think of anything else to say. "And I really am sorry" she promised, not wanting to get into the fight.

"I was a jerk, I shouldn't have-" she cut off his words, pressing her lips against his. He grew silent and pushed up off the door, walking with her towards the racks of clothes. She pulled away, resting her hands on his chest and glanced into his eyes.

"I am so sorry, I'm just so scared that you'll realize you shouldn't have stayed for me" she breathed, tears forming in her eyes. "I can't help it and then you'll leave in January and -" he put a soft finger on her lips and shut her up. She looked into his eyes.

"I just told them that I won't be coming in January" he confessed.

"What? When?" she demanded.

"Yesterday" he answered.

"But we were fighting, how did you know that we would be alright?" she asked.

"I didn't" he replied honestly "but believe me, I would wait with you another 4 months to make sure we are" she pulled him into a kiss in response, not even letting him finish his confession. She guided him towards the wall on the right, avoiding the racks of clothes behind them. He pushed her against the wall, pinning her, their kissing growing in passion. She could feel his hands lifting up her tank top and the sticky sweet kisses he planted along her neck.

"I missed you" he muttered into her ear, before reengaging her lips with his own. She felt the weight of his smooth hands on her stomach through the fabric of her tank top and could feel her heart pick up speed, racing. She pushed the jean jacket off his shoulders, sliding it down his arms. He pulled his arms off her for an instant, to shake the coat to the floor. They pulled away, watching each other, both breathing heavy. He opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to continue the apology from before, she yanked him closer by the waist, closing the already limited space between them. She raced her hands up his chest, winding her arms around his neck, reveling in the soft texture of his gelled hair.

"Rach-" he managed softly before she stopped his words with another kiss. He mumbled against her lips, but didn't pull away, instead brought one hand up towards her neck to force her deeper into the kiss. She could feel his other hand edging up her tank top another inch, the thought to pull his hand away crossed her mind for an instant, before she realized she didn't mind. She heard the door creak open behind them but paid no attention, too consumed with the task at hand. Rachel gripped onto his hair, enjoying how sweet his lips tasted on hers. Her tank top crept up another inch and his hand pressed warm against her stomach under the fabric.

"JESSE?" a shocked voice called behind them and he reluctantly pulled away, not letting go of Rachel's waist as his head turned to see who had stopped their heated rendezvous.

* * *

Authors note:

Sorry it took so long to update. More coming soon!


	7. Somehow Someday Somewhere

**_Previously..._**

_"Rach-" he managed softly before she stopped his words with another kiss. He mumbled against her lips, but didn't pull away, instead brought one hand up towards her neck to force her deeper into the kiss. She could feel his other hand edging up her tank top another inch, the thought to pull his hand away crossed her mind for an instant, before she realized she didn't mind. She heard the door creak open behind them but paid no attention, too consumed with the task at hand. Rachel gripped onto his hair, enjoying how sweet his lips tasted on hers. Her tank top crept up another inch and his hand pressed against her stomach under the fabric. _

_"JESSE?" a shocked voice called behind them and he reluctantly pulled away, not letting go of Rachel's waist as his head turned to see who had stopped their heated rendezvous. _

Shelby stared back at them. Her face held no shock or disappointment.

"Hi" Jesse answered meekly, blushing as he took his hand off Rachel's stomach quickly. He bent over and picked up his jean jacket off the floor aware that Shelby watched him. Awkward barely described how he felt.

"They are looking for you on stage" Shelby commented "something about a monologue?" she continued and he nodded.

"Right" he answered, glancing back to Rachel. He flashed her a smile, planted a quick kiss on her cheek before hurrying out of the room, already sprinting down the hall towards the stage.

Rachel was bright red, her palms pressed to the wall as if it would save her.

"I don't know what to say" she commented.

"It's fine Rachel" Shelby laughed. "I'm helping out with costumes before the show and came here to check inventory. Sufficed to say, I didn't think I would find" she paused "that" she spoke, for lack of a better word.

"Well I-" Rachel blushed.

"Don't be embarrassed Rachel" Shelby laughed "You can help me while Jesse performs a Christopher Marlowe monologue" Rachel chuckled slightly at the fact that Shelby would know Jesse's monologue choice. She pulled her hands off the wall, crossing her arms and coming towards Shelby cautiously.

"So hoping to be the new Mrs. Lovett?" Shelby asked and Rachel nodded.

"It would be different than my usual roles. But it's always good to expand" Rachel said matter-of-factly and Shelby responded with a nod.

"Of course" she added for good measure. She handed Rachel a clip board and a pen.

"Let's get to work" she announced clapping her hands together. "I only have an hour before I have to pick up Beth from day care" she added, thumbing through the hangers and noting the dresses on the racks. She turned to Rachel and started instructing her on what to write down.

Rachel reappeared in the green room after ten minutes and was joined by Jesse not a moment later.

"Hi" he beamed and she nearly laughed, remembering how hard they had been blushing less than 20 minutes ago.

"Hey" she responded. "How was your monologue?" she asked

"Brilliant" he responded, not bothering to keep his ego in check. "Want a ride home?" he asked. She took his hand in hers.

"Only if you come with me" she responded and he smiled in return.

He pulled her by the hand for a quick kiss before starting off out of the theatre. They held hands as they left, thrilled with being back together and the prospect of being in a show together.

They arrived at her house soon after and he parked his car on the sidewalk. They linked hands as they walked towards her house. They passed through the house towards the kitchen, where dinner was being made.

"Pumpkin" cried out her dad. "Jesse!" he beamed "how are you!" he smiled, dropping his spatula onto the counter. Jesse smiled in return, glad that their break up hadn't been described in detail or he may not have been greeted so warmly.

"Great sir, how are you?" he asked in return

"Not too shabby, are you joining us for dinner?" he asked and Rachel nodded.

"We'll be upstairs rehearsing West Side Story before it's ready" Rachel promised, grabbing Jesse's hand and already pulling him towards the stairs.

"I don't think so, sunshine. Dinner's 5 minutes away. Just settle yourselves on the couch" her other dad hollered from the dining room where he was setting the table .

"Where they can see us" she muttered to Jesse under her breath and he suppressed the urge to laugh.

After dinner, she handed him dripping wet green dish from her soapy hands. She could hear the tv playing Grey's Anatomy in the background. Jesse grabbed the flower patterned dish towel in front of him and started rubbing down the plate, placing it on top of a pile of other already dried plates.

"If we convince them we're running lines, we can sneak upstairs" she offered in a whisper. He flashed her a dangerously charming smile, grabbing an orange and green glass from her. He wiped it down, never taking his eyes off her. She blushed slightly under the attention and unclogged the sink, watching the soapy water disappear. She ran the tap over her forearms, washing the soap off them. Jesse placed the last cup and the dish towel on the counter, coming behind her and taking his waist in her hands. He kissed her neck softly. She spun around in his embrace to face him, enjoying as he planted another soft kiss on her neck.

"Everything ok in here?" Her dad asked coming in and Jesse spun away from her quickly.

"Yup" rachel blushed, hoping her father hadn't seen. "Dad-" she started. "We need to run lines for West Side Story" she began. "We'll be upstairs for a bit" she offered and he looked from her to Jesse twice and shook his head.

"As long as we hear you singing, little bear-"

"-dad" she blushed at the nickname. Jesse suppressed a chuckle.

"You can practice the songs, the lines can be for another time, alright?" he asked and she nodded, it was the best they would get anyway.

"Sure" she responded, heading towards the stairs. Her dad shot Jesse a knowing look and he smiled shyly under the gaze.

"See you in a bit Sir" he commented and her dad nodded, as the kids walked past him towards the stair case.

She practically dragged him up the stairs. She shut the door behind her and swirled to him in happiness.

"This is so strange" she commented, suddenly remembering where she had been this time last year. She never thought she would have forgiven him, let alone him being the reason for her smiles these days. She shoved the comment out of her mind and came towards her stereo, searching for the cd. He wrapped his arms around her from the back, getting in the way of her hands searching for the cd. He kissed her neck lightly and then freed her hands, his own wrapping around her waist.

She finally found the cd and fiddled with it, slamming the case of the stereo shut and hitting play. A loud rendition of "I Feel Pretty" erupted from the speakers.

She spun around to face him, hopping up on her dresser, dangling her feet over the edge. She grabbed him by the neck and guided his lips to hers. His fingertips leapt under the fabric of her tank top as he moved closer to her, not even moving his lips off hers.

She pulled away from him reluctantly.

"They'll come up if I don't start singing" she sighed "It wasn't a very good lie I suppose" she responded, placing her hands on his shoulders and letting herself get lost in his eyes.

"Then sing" he responded with a dangerous half smirk.

"Not exactly what I want to be doing right now" she replied matter-of-factly.

"I can tell" he answered back, chuckling lightly. She sighed deeply and moved her hand to repeat the song, as it started again, she sang with Maria, not taking her eyes off his.

"I feel charming, Oh so char- ming" she stuttered over the lyrics she knew so well, for as she was singing, he was planting kisses along her neck. She laughed lightly, but regained her control over the song. He ran his fingers through her hair as she continued the verse, her voice growing higher in the right times. She could barely concentrate, her breathing slowed, only causing more problems for her song as he inched up her tank top, his hands firmly pressed on the soft skin of her stomach. She shrieked with laughter as he kissed a ticklish spot under her jaw. She forced the laugh down and picked the song back, though not very successfully.

"Impressive signing" he whispered, teasing, into her ear as the cd player started the song again.

"You make it hard to concentrate" she shot back, pretending to be upset with a pout.

"Thanks" he whispered back, before pressing his lips against hers in a deep kiss.

There was a knock on her door. His hands darted out from under her shirt immediately and he walked to the chair to the side as she hopped off the dresser.

"Come in" she said reluctantly.

"Hey -" her father resisted the urge to call her one of her many nicknames and look at her with a knowing expression. "It's time for Jesse to go"

"That was less than a song!" Rachel countered.

"Rachel, you have school tomorrow" her father responded.

"It's nine pm!" Rachel responded in disbelief.

"It's fine" Jesse commented. He came towards her, planted an innocent kiss on her lips and shot her a smile. "I'll see you"

"_For I'm loved, by a pretty wonderful boy"_ blasted through the stereo speakers as her dad walk towards his room and Jesse made his way down the stairs and out the front door.

* * *

WHAM! The popular hit song "Wake me Up before you Go Go" successfully woke up Jesse St. James. He shot straight out of his bed, his hair a glorious mess, strands extending in each direction. He shut off his stereo, checked the time ( exactly 7 as per usual) and grumbly took his towel and headed towards the shower. At percicesly 7 15 he stood in his briefs, selecting his outfit for that day. He settled on a vintage tshirt of a band he once loved and threw a loose sweatshirt over top. He reached for his phone, checking it.

"Morning!" it read back and Rachel's text message continued "Woke up to Fitsgerland today, u?" it asked back and he texted a response as he sped down the stairs. He was eating and already on chapter 4 of his latest novel ( a thriller by Stephen King) by 7 30am. He shoved the remains of the nutritious omelette into the trash, leaving the dish in the sink and gulping down his orange juice. He checked his watch and cursed, he was already running late. At 8 10, late by ten of his usual time he pulled into the community center and ran towards the dance hall. Tuesdays and Thursdays were modern dance. He practiced for an hour and a half, with only himself as company and motivation to not loose focus. He headed towards the nearby gym afterwords and after an exhausting work out of weights, the step machine and bicycle, in total an hour, he got into his car and drove back home. As per usual he grabbed a light snack, relaxing for an already allocated twenty minutes.

He replied to another text Rachel had sent before putting the phone away and sitting down at the piano. He practiced for an hour before starting a new piece to learn. After a half hour, his timer chimed, he always got carried away with the piano after all, and he rose for lunch. He washed the remains of breakfast and decided on a grilled sand which for lunch. He prepared it in twenty minutes and sat down to eat, allowing himself the pleasure of 20 minutes of television as he did so. He completed the sand which and placed the remote of his tv aside, heading upstairs. He settled at his desk and pulled together the resources he knew he would study in UCLA in the next fall and leafed through them, pushing the ideas of regret put of his mind. If he was truly honest, he knew he could regret it at times, but then when he saw Rachel, it made it all worth while. His thoughts distracted him from his studying, as he knew she was in school with Finn. A quiet jealousy seethed under the surface as he pushed it away, clenching his jaw and continuing reading about Stanislavski and his revolutionary theatre methods. He placed the history of theater book down at 2 pm and got into the car, looking forward to the rest of the day. He arrived at the park and waved to Shelby with Beth, at their usual spot.

"Hey!" She called "You're running late today?" she commented and checking his watch, he saw it was 2 30 and not 2 15 as it was meant to be.

"Late start" he confessed and she nodded, strolling with him in the park. They walked through the park, talking about theatre and everything new as Beth swung on the swings.

His phone rang loudly, a generic tone and he picked it up, cautiously juggling Beth on his arm.

"Jesse here" he prompted, not recognizing the number. Shelby continued walking beside him down the path, ceasing their current conversation as he responded to the call. She pushed the empty stroller ahead of her and found peace in her thoughts.

"Yes I am still interested" he commented and she could hear the happiness in his voice and knew already what it was.

"Alright, thank you so much, see you tomorrow" he replied as he hung up the phone. He pocketed it carefully, as Beth gripped onto his hair, tugging at it with her little hands. He pulled her small hand away and held it in his free hand as he prompted Shelby to continnue what she had been saying.

"Jesse, what was the call?" she asked and he replied as nochalaont as he could.

"Sweeney Todd"

"Well?" she asked, even though she knew the result.

"I'm the lead"

"That's fantastic!" She beamed and Beth giggled loudly at the comment. Shelby laughed in response.

"They said I had the part before I even sang, they saw _My Fair Lady_ and used that as an audition when they knew it was me" he recalled and Shelby beamed with pride.

"That's amazing, Jesse"

"Ya it would be, if you were going to be part of the show"

"I told you Jesse, I can't devote all the time to it. I did some inventory for them, but I can't be part of the show."

"Yes you can" he retorted.

"Not with Beth, I don't want to miss things in her life because I'm putting all my energy in a show, just another show" Shelby retorted and he nodded.

"But they asked you to help out and you could bring Beth to rehearsal, I'll watch her"

"As you act?" she commented and he pulled out a sour expression.

"Just reconsider? Please?" He asked and she nodded. They headed towards a slide, where Jesse placed Beth on it, she slid down her giggle filling their hearts with joy. He checked his phone, wondering if Rachel got a part when he realized she was in Glee and wouldn't call him to tell him the details, not until after. If she got a part, which he didn't doubt for an instant. As distracted as he had been that day, after their heat in the costume room, he still managed a decent monologue, at least decent enough to land him the lead.

* * *

He came home quickly, excited to find Sweeney Todd music online, perhaps he could start practicing already. With My Fair Lady he had all the songs downloaded before his audition, so in this case he was running late. He turned on his computer and found a search engine for theatre related sites and started trying to find anything and everything on Sweeney Todd. His phone rang to his side, but he let it ring as he opened a few tabs with Sweeney Todd songs. He started skim reading as he passively reached for his phone and answered on the third ring.

"Jesse!" Rachel cried when he finallypicked up the phone.

"What!" he answered, not expecting to be practically screamed at. He balanced the phone on his ear as he scrolled through the lyrics of the songs.

"I got a part!" she breathed, unable to keep the news in any longer. "I mean, I'm not really surprised"

"Thats great Rachel" he responded monotone, busy copying down a website he found which listed the whole first act of the show.

"It's going to be so amazing, you me and a play for the next four weeks. Rehearsals are going to be amazing and can you imagine the kind of popularity that comes with a show like this, I can't wait! I finally get an audience I deserve, you know?"

"You'll be great Rach" he commented in return, still monotone, too busy searching to properly give her attention.

"What, did you not get your call yet?" She asked, finally picking up on his tone.

"No I got it" he responded, and she picked up on the sadness in his voice, which he was faking. He threw his pencil onto his table and rested his feet up on the table, leaning back in his chair and enjoying playing with her.

"You got a part, didn't you?" she asked, worry in her tone. He paused dramatically.

"Well..." he began, savoring each moment. "YOU HONESTLY THINK I DIDNT?" he asked in return, laughing.

"NOT FAIR!" she shrieked into the phone. "What part did you get anyway?" she snapped and he could tell she was feigning anger.

"The judge" he lied with ease.

"Jesse-" she began and he laughed.

"Ok, fine I'm Sweeney Todd" he gave in, a smile spreading across his face. He was glad she couldn't see. He had been bubbling with jealousy earlier that day, thinking about her and Finn and their countless duets.

"And I'm your Mrs. Lovett!"

"I love it" he shouted back

"You're so lame" she joked back.

"You're one to talk" he teased.

"See you in Rehearsal tomorrow!" she shrieked, and he could hear her jumping up and down with excitement over the phone.

"See you then" he responded.

* * *

His schedule had been set out before the summer had even begun. As an option, would he decide to stay for the year. It seemed a ridiculous notion at the time and even more so that he would wake at 7 every week day during the school year in which he wouldn't attend school. It was his own goals, his own ambitions driving him forward. His parents hardly even knew why he stayed behind. The day he'd seen Rachel in the library and merely apologized to her, he called his parents and the University and informed them that he was deferring a year. Just in the hopes of seeing her. He couldn't have imagined the path set out for them and their relationship. He followed his schedule precisely, improving his knowledge and practical use of theatre, staying motivated and driven.

At the rehearsal, he greeted her with a half hug with one arm and a smile. She stared at him in shock, wondering why he looked so great just for rehearsal and more so at the limited contact.

He was dressed in a dark green dress shirt, rolled to the elbows with black jeans and a pair of dark converse.

"Why are you so dressed up?" she asked

"It's our first day, we have to make a good impression." She nodded meekly and pulled down the edge of her black and purple zig zag patterned cardigan over her short blue skirt.

"You look fine" he offered and she smiled, unconvinced. He moved ahead of her and dashed to the stage, leaving her in the aisle. She came up beside him and stood with him on the stage, where the actors and production crew were assembling around a table piled high with scripts. She wondered why he wasn't all over her, or even barely acknowledging her. She prompted him, coming up beside him and took the confidence to ask what was going on.

"What are you doing?" she whispered and he looked at her.

"People shouldn't know we're together"

"Are you kidding or something?" trying not to let the disappointment show in her tone.

"Rachel, it could be weird for the show, we should keep it on the down low at least for a bit. We have to be professional about this after all. We can't let our relationship get in the way" he offered. She nodded, it did make sense to her after all, but she was still a bit annoyed by the claim. She shoved the unsecurity aside and told herself it would be fine, professional. Both of them wanted to be a star more than be with each other, she had made the same mistake in _Run Joey Run,_ so this was nothing. She told herself she was fine with it and watched him take a seat in front of a script at the table. She took her seat two away from him and watched as he read the script, not knowing he had read it the day before already. She turned to her own reluctantly, not expecting this turn of events.

Ten minutes later, the whole table was full of the assorted actors and staff. Shelby sat down at the head of the table last and then the female director, a slim woman with a tight blonde bun called to the audience. She was tall and had an overpowering british voice. She called out to the table in a happy tone, acknowledging her excitement to work on this production, claiming she had seen it as a young girl many times in London. Rachel watched Jesse's face turn to excitement at the notion of an experienced director and swallowed her own fears about their relationship, forcing the unpleasant emotions down and thinking about the show.

"Well let's meet everyone" she beamed, taking her seat at the head of the table with Shelby beside her, she stared down the table. She started introducing everyone herself, much to most people's astonishment. Jesse found this odd and watched her with a curious expression as she proceeded thorugh all the chracters. She reached him almost at the end, not following a specific order and she beamed at him as she read his bio, clearly impressed with it.

"Jesse St James, playing Sweeney Todd, stright from his win with Glee Club Vocal Adrenaline. I saw it by the way, phenomenal job. And his recent role as Freddy in My Fair Lady-" she got cut off by another actress, across the table.

The red headed actress was directly across from Jesse and had already been introduced as Patricia, with few appearances in musical theatre before and more commonly known in serious stage productions or commercials. Rachel despised her before she spoke, but now fumed with hatred.

"THAT WAS YOU?" Patricia interrupted the director. Jesse's eyes darted to hers and he nodded, as if embarrassed.

"You were" she paused dramatically "fantastic!" she confessed, too enthusiastically for Rachel's liking. A side smile appeared on Jesse's face at the compliment.

"Thanks" he said routinely, having heard it so much.

"No seriously" she continued as if he needed convincing. "I hated Freddy until this production, but you were magnificent and your voice is so gorgeous, you're-" she paused, finally realizing that all eyes were on her. She blushed obviously and stuttered over the next words.

"We can talk about it later" she offered and looked to the director to continue.

Rachel gritted her teeth, but Patricia's eyes darted nervously away from Jesse. She was playing his dead _wife_ and double cast as his daughter as well, since they never appeared together. Rachel hated her more and more as the time went on and tried not to stare at her as the amazing introduction for Jesse continued.

Rachel already wanted to strangle the petit actress and couldn't imagine watching them rehearse the too lovey- dovey flashback scenes that forced Sweeney into revenge. She already felt more like Mrs. Lovett than she ever wanted to. She wondered if he would have to kiss her, but forced the idea from her mind, wishing more than anything he didn't want to be _professional_ and that she could mark her territory.

"This is Rachel Berry. Playing Mrs. Lovett. She is currently a junior at the nearby high school and part of the glee club. Been in theatre ever since a young age. Sorry dear but have you done anything else recently?" she asked rachel and she stared at her shocked, not knowing how to defend her pride. She wouldn't exactly mention regionals, for one she and Jesse had not discussed the competition, at all and further more, they hadn't even placed. Rachel bit her tongue, reluctantly not adding a list of credentials and shook her head shyly. She caught a confused expression from Jesse, but he looked away from her as the director began to introduce Shelby.

"And this is Mrs. Corcrin, who led Vocal Adreline to victory and joined our team last minute as our costume designer and coordinator". The director introduced herself last and Rachel saw Jesse cringe at her mention of _no_ musical theatre directing experience. She mirrored his concerns, but listened attentively. They were professional after all, enough so to hide their relationship from the cast. The table erupted with applause to greet everyone and then they started reading through the script.

* * *

Everyone rose after the long read through and Rachel tucked in her chair, wanting to approach Jesse, but before she could he left his chair to greet Shelby. She watched him give her a hug and smile broadly. It brought a pit to her stomach, but she couldn't name the reason. She came towards them, but neither stopped their conversation to greet her.

"I'm so glad you changed your mind" Jesse was saying and she knew they interacted ofeten, but still the comment left her with unease.

"I don't know how I'll even manage" she responded, clearly blaming him for the decision.

"You won't regret it" he promised and she nodded.

"Well I've got to get home, I don't really trust the sitter past 8. Bye Jesse, Rachel" she acknowledged before heading out of the theatre.

"Freddy!" Patricia called, coming towards them before they could speak to each other.

"Hi" he commented.

"Oh and it was Rachel, right?" she asked and Rachel gritted her teeth, but pasted on an artificial smile on in response. Jesse was oblivious, he knew she found him interesting, but hardly could care about her feelings, or ever Rachel's at the time being, since he was too pumped for the show and the idea of working on another production after My Fair Lady. He knew the next four weeks would be absolutely grueling and slave driving , but completely worth it when they opened the show.

"So what do you say to a bite, some musical theatre talk?" she asked and Jesse blushed.

"Um" he was now painfully aware that Rachel was beside him, with her arms crossed. "I don't date co stars" he offered and Patricia blushed and acted as if she hadn't been asking him out.

"But you have to eat" she offered and he shook his head, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "Friends?"

"I have a girlfriend, she gets very jealous. Sorry" he commented and she nodded.

"Sure, lets forget it happened, I wouldn't want production to be weird" she offered and he smiled in return, out stretching his hand.

"Jesse St James" Rachel scoffed at the gesture and performed a diva storm off, furious since he had done the same to her when they had met, some claim about knowing the real him, not just the star of vocal adrenaline. She walked angrily out of the theatre, trying to keep her feelings bottled up. She would be fine with not proclaiming their relationship, but the flirty co star on top of that, would drive her to the edge. But thankfully, she knew how to get his attention.

She remembered the day before, when she had gotten the call for the musical and had been so filled with anticpation and happiness, now replaced with anger and jealousy.

_Puck had serenaded Quinn with "Let Me Take You There" but Rachel's mind was far from the glee practice. She didn't even see Finn glance at her repeatedly during Puck's song to Quinn. She didn't even gauge Quinn's reaction of a half smile as Puck sang the song, strumming on his guitar to make the serenade complete. Rachel's phone erupted with song, drawing everyone's attention to her._

_"Rachel!" Mr Shu scolded. It was a good thing Puck had just finished his song, or she would have felt more embarrassed. She leapt out of her seat and glanced to the phone nervously and then at Mr. Shu._

_"I really need to get this" she commented, not even asking for permission and strolled out the door, opening the phone as she went._

_"Rachel Berry here" she cried cheerfully and Finn watched her with a slow jealousy through the window in the door, thinking she was talking to Jesse._

_She reappeared moments later with an even bigger smile on her face than she had had all day and practically skipped to her seat. Finn wanted to ask what was happening, but expecting the answer to be Jesse related, he resisted._

_"You look like" Britney paused, dramatically "Your having a seizure" she finished and Kurt stared at her in strange wonder._

_"None of us ditch Glee to answer our phones" Artie combatted and Rachel cringed as she dreaded explaining the reason for her call._

_"I forgot to put it on silent"_

_"Anyway" Mr Shu pressed on, clearly not pleased with the exchange. "Let's hear your piece, Mercedes" he called her to the front and as she vocalized, Rachel got lost in a daze of happiness._

* * *

Yet again she was going to show how she could be Sandra Dee and change for a guy. This time, she suspected, she wouldn't look like a sad clown hooker. She rose in the morning, early as usual and grabbed a tank top she never worse, since it was too small and a short striped cardigan to go over top. She grabbed a pair of tight jeans and strapped them on, putting on too much make up and headed out the door.

"Hey" She called towards the stage when she entered the theatre, he was already there, warming up his voice.

"Hey" he called back abstractly, not looking away from his sheet music, but then he glanced to his left and saw her. He jumped out of his seat at the piano and rushed forward, jumping off the stage and towards her in the aisles. His voice was hushed when he spoke, secretive.

"What, are you wearing?" he asked and she smiled coyly.

"You like?" she asked innocently.

"NO! I mean yes...but no" he stuttered over the words and she laughed lightly at him.

"Did you go to school like this?" he asked and she then realized the problem.

"Well I did just come from there" she replied and he nodded slowly.

"So what did Finn think?" he asked bitterly.

"I'm not a mind reader."

"Well you still get how I feel right?" he asked, his jealousy fuming. "It's bad enough you see him everyday."

"5 out of 7."

"Rachel."

"I dont see why you care so much, you're just a _secret_ boyfriend, remember costar?" she asked, before brushing past him towards the director in the first row. He fumed with anger, gritting his teeth.

"So what are you guys up to tonight?" Patricia asked, climbing into the stage and coming between Rachel and Jesse, who stood feet apart, both sulking in their dramatic bubbles of anger.

"What?" Jesse prompted and she laughed.

"Really, your free on a friday night?" she asked and he smiled lightly.

"Studying" he lied and she nodded .

"What about you?" She asked Rachel "I think we kinda got off on the wrong foot"

"I have plans, sorry" Rachel replied and Patricia nodded.

"Too bad your not free Jesse" Patricia continued and Rachel exhaled loudly.

"Whats your problem?" she asked and Rachel looked at her.

"Nothing" Rachel lied convincingly in return and Patricia shrugged at the response.

"Well" Patricia continued, only because the silence between them was unbearable. "I'm gonna go check my cues"

"Bye" Rachel smiled as she left.

"So what are _we_ doing tonight" she snapped, but still hoping to see him and resolve the anger. She had dressed up for him after all.

"Didn't think you wanted to be a _we"_ he responded and she pulled a sour face.

"Sorry?" she asked and he nodded. "Look Jesse, I dressed up for you, not Finn, ok?" she asked and he nodded.

"Ya ok" he breathed, sighing deeply. "Wanna grab dinner after rehearsal?" he asked and she wanted to leap into his arms and hug him. She resisted and merely nodded, as if she wanted to do it more than anything else that evening.

"Jesse" the director prompted, breaking the moment and rushing to the stage, lets go over the coreography for your songs? Rachel, Shelby wants you for a fitting in the costume room" she ordered and they obeyed.

Ten minutes later she returned from the costume room. Jesse was on stage, coregraphing the song and clearly displeased. He stopped and the music came to an end.

"Jesse, what is going on?" the director asked from the first row. Rachel came closer, enthralled by the drama.

"Nothing, it's fine" he replied and Rachel could tell he was lying and something was definately up. The director nodded to the stage hand manning the cd player they were practicing with, until the band was ready next week. The song started again and Jesse performend the most illogical, worst dance moves Rachel had seen. His heart was far from the performance and she was shocked to find he was barely trying.

"Stop" the director called again. "Jesse I thought you were a dancer, you're barely doing the steps" she commented and he put his hands on his hips.

"Is there a problem?" she asked agian and he nodded slowly, reluctant.

"Ya, you want the truth?"

"Please" she responded.

"The corgeography is horrible, I mean a box step? It's the epiphany." he took a beat before continuing "I know you haven't directed musical theatre before but I expected something decent" he stared at her, waiting for her response.

"So it's the moves?"

"Yes, and the direction" he answered back crisply. She nodded slowly, clearly angry.

"Well I don't care, you're the actor, put yourself into the role and dance"

"I'm not a puppet" he snapped back "and Sweeney Todd is singing about revenge, that's not the time for a box stop. Either you change the coreography or I'm not going to dance during this song. Excuse me, I need to get measured for costumes" he replied crisply. He turned on his heel and went backstage. Rachel's mouth hung in shock but she headed backstage quickly, not wanting to deal with the director in her anger.

* * *

She met up with Jesse in the costume room. Where he stood in his t-shirt and jeans as Shelby made notes of his costume sizes.

"Jesse, you can't talk to the director that way" Rachel started, as he held his hands out and Shelby ran a tape measure along the length of them.

"Seriously Rachel?" he asked "she can't direct"

"Jesse, you still have to listen to her" Shelby countered, making notes on a clipboard at her side before picking up the tape measure again and wrapping it cautiously around his waist.

"I won't, I won't do it. She doesn't know theatre and she doesn't even know coreography, it's amateur. I wouldn't have this if I was at UCLA"

"That was your choice remember, I didn't ask you for that" Rachel snapped "look we have to deal with this director and be _proffesional_, just suck it up and do it, ok, don't make her mad at all of us" Rachel commanded and left the dressing room in a hurry.

"You should be the one directing" Jesse muttered to Shelby, but she didn't respond.

* * *

After rehearsal, they grabbed dinner at a local diner, talking about everything except Sweeney Todd. At the conclusion of the evening he took her home in his car, complaining that Shelby should be directing and Rachel bit her tognue, strangely jealous of the relationship he had with her own mother.

"So see you at rehearsal" Jesse smiled as he put the car into park at her house.

"See you tomorrow" she replied, leaning forward in the car and giving him a kiss on the cheek, with all the drama happening right now, that's all she could muster. She smiled lightly and put her handle on the door, she turned back to him and sighed heavily.

"I dressed up for you" she confessed.

"You said that" he seemed agigitated, ready to get out of there and go over songs or have an early night, since he had stuff to do early in the morning.

"You don't seem to be noticing"

"I have a lot on my mind" he responded.

"But even before the show, you don't call me as much as you used to or pick the phone right away, I feel like you're not there" she confessed lightly, crossing her arms over her chest and watching him for response.

"I have stuff to do during the day" he countered quietly.

"You're not exactly in school"

"Doesn't mean that I have time to wait around for you to call. I have a schedule, I have dance and piano every day and not to mention I have a life" he spat at her. She felt ashamed for even asking and nodded.

"You're right, I'm sorry" she knew he was, but she couldn't help but feel like they were drifting apart and couldn't think it would get worse in the upcoming weeks.

* * *

The next day she arrived at rehearsal ten minutes late, though she imagined if they hadn't been hiding their relationship, she would've had the guts to ask Jesse for a ride. She jumped up on stage late and didn't even glance at Jesse beside her as she turned to the director, who was in the midst of a speech. Jesse was rolling his eyes and clerly displeased at the turn of events. Shelby sauntered in moments later, carrying Beth in a carrying basket as she came, clearly in a fretful rush.

"Sorry, so sorry" she commented as she climbed the stairs. "My sitter called in sick this morning, so everyone, this is Beth" she motioned to the sleeping darling in the basket and the cast members all awed in unison.

"As I was saying, I forgot to go over some ground rules the first day around, but I'd like to repeat, before Rachel came in, that I do not encourage costars dating. I think it messes with the show and can cause unnecessary drama"

"What if theres that special _spark?_" Jesse teased and Shelby's face flushed red in front of them.

"Ms. Corchrin, you alright?" Patricia asked to his left and Jesse smiled.

"Actually she told Mr. Shu that same speech once,then they made out..." Jesse told Patricia to his side.

"WHAT?" Patricia asked, laughing. The idea of two competing glee instructors was ridicolous to her.

"WHAT?" Rachel snapped beside Jesse and he had forgotten she was on his right.

"Well, um...they" he tried to his his words.

"Jesse" Shelby snapped, coming foward to the stars.

"When!" Rachel asked exhasperated.

"Why do you care so much?" Patricia snapped.

"Shes my mother!" Rachel snapped back, sick of the hardly talented prima donna.

"No wonder you got the part" Patricia shot back, not letting her surprise at the revelation show. It wasn't that surprising, now that she looked at them.

"I've been singing show choir since I was in diapers, I got the part because I'm talented" Rachel replied bitterly.

"Hardly" Patricia edged on.

"Wanna have a sing off?" Rachel prompted.

"Ladies! Calm down" Shelby stressed, aware that she left the basket with Beth at the front near the director, 5 steps behind her.

"When did this happen?" Rachel demanded.

"After I met you, Shu approached her when he thought I was trying to mess with the team" Jesse confessed sheepishly.

"Well he was right about that wasn't he?" she asked, walking off.

"RACHEL!" he hollared after her, but it was no use.

"Think next time?" Shelby asked angrily. "And watch Beth" she commanded, sauntering past him, storming after her daughter.

"WOW" Patricia confessed but Jesse walked away from her, towards Beth. He picked up the basket and placed her to the side, where he knew the music wouldn't be too loud but he could still watch her. He pressed play and began his coreography, as was outlined ten minutes ago, they would begin with his dancing in the song "My Friends".

"Again" the director shouted and Jesse repeated the steps, Patricia's eyes from the first row on him.

"Is there a problem?" the director snapped, Jesse already on her bad side.

"Do you even know what Sweeney Todd is about? A man singing about vengence does not _tap dance!"_ he cried out.

"Just do the steps" she shouted back and Beth instantly started crying.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think it was something I should tell you" Shelby continued her strange speech with Rachel in the costume room when she heard Beth's unmistakeable cry, she broke off into a run towards the stage.

Jesse, without worrying about breaking character or anything, picked up beth effortlessly and swayed her in his arms. She settled down just as Shelby ran to the stage with Rachel steps behind her.

"Oh thank god" she breathed, coming towards Jesse and taking the young girl from his arms.

"Aw" Patricia sighed from the rows and Rachel rolled her eyes, staying rooted where she was, watching the scene before her.

"You've dealt with him before right?" the director suddenly asked Shelby.

"Yes" she relayed, swinging Beth in her arms.

"Well you direct him, he's impossible!" she hollared. "Rachel, can I have you up here, to sing By the Sea?" she asked and Rachel hopped up on stage.

"He's not impossible" Shelby defnded, then felt as if she wanted to take the words back.

"Then you direct him! Actually, direct the whole freaking show, two days in, it should not be this hard"

"Well had you directed musical theatre before" Jesse combatted, but Shelby shushed him.

"You can't drop out of the show" Shelby protested.

"You're the director now"

"Excuse me?"

"I'll handle props and lights and costumes in terms of direction and you will handle the actors and coreography. I appoint them to you." she comanded and Shelby stared at her dumbfounded.

"You can't just unload because the show is a little difficult, you said you would be a part of it"

"And now I'm not. You know what, I don't even want to be part of it, at all. I quit" she dropped her script to the floor drammatically and walked out of the theatre.

Shelby stared at her in shock. "You can't quit!" she hollered after the woman, but a door slamming was the only response.

"Are you going to direct now?" Patricia asked meekly.

"The show must go on" Shelby responded, fuming with rage.

"Shelby-" Jesse began.

"Don't. If you hadn't been so difficult." she paused, taking a deep breath "I didn't want to do this in the first place" she snapped.

"She couldn't direct" he combatted.

"You should have gone to UCLA" she responded, bitter. "Rachel, up here for by the sea? Jesse we don't need you"

"I'm in the song"

"I just want her to practice it. Sit" she answered. Rachel complied as Jesse headed down to the audience, sulking and feeling ashamed and guilt tripped. He sat in the 6th row and watched Rachel perform, aware that his only real parental figure was now mad at him. His parents were still wintering in Asia, though it was Cambodia this winter, they had returned last year for 3 months, not in time for regionals, not in time for anything. He had their money, their long distance support and he could do anything, but he didn't have a parental figure, no one to guide him,_ direct_ him or help him through life. The only person he had remotely caring about him, was now furious at him and he knew it was all his fault. He thought for a moment that he should have gone to UCLA, but then he shook himself out of his depressing thoughts and watched Rachel, a smile fluttering to his face, knowing he had done the right thing. He had followed his heart.

"Hey" Patricia broke his train of thoughts, sitting beside him in the empty theatre. He imagined in weeks when it would be packed and couldn't help but be filled with excitement. But there was so much to do before then and all with Shelby, who would love it but resent him for the chance. He hadn't honestly meant to make the british woman quit, he just hadn't expected to be directed so awfully. Even the woman in My Fair Lady had been bad, but he had tolerated it. But now, he couldn't have done the coreography allocated, said the lines in the ways she had asked him to, and there had also been a conflict regarding him kissing Patricia. He had refused so many things, he supposed he had worn her down. He regreted his actions, but was more than glad to be rid of her. He knew Shelby would be mad at him for some time.

"Hey" he answered back to Patricia, moments later.

"What's this about UCLA, you didn't go or something?" she asked

"I deferred a year" he responded, quickly without even blinking.

"Oh my gosh, why would you do that?"

"I'm in love with Rachel" he responded, having had enough of her flirtatious ways and enough of everything. Rachel was the reason he stayed, so Rachel would be part of his life, part of the show, she would make everything better.

"Does she know?" Patricia asked cautiously.

"Of course, I said I had a girlfriend" he answered and rose, knowing he wouldn't keep it hidden anymore, Shelby knew after all and it was only a matter of time until everyone else did too. He might as well take matters into his own hands, just as he had months ago when he had decided to stay and win Rachel Berry back.

She finished the song on the stage perfectly and smiled to Shelby.

"St James" Shelby called in a low shout, Beth now asleep in her arms. He ran to the stage immediately. Patricia watched after him with a shocked expression.

"Lets try by the sea again, with Sweeney" Shelby offered and Jesse noted she wasn't even saying his first name. He wondered how long she would be mad at him for.

* * *

"Why aren't you siding with me on this?" He asked as he drove Rachel home that day.

"I dont know" she lied "you did force the director out" she lamented and he sighed deeply. He had approached her after rehearsal and offered her a ride home, saying sorry he hadn't offered one _to_ reherasal. She had been thrilled by the idea, since it had begun pouring in the gross November weather and had accepted, but he knew things were off with them lately. He couldn't figure out all the reasons why.

"She could NOT direct" he combatted. She nodded meekly.

"I'm glad I stayed" he pressed one, reading her thoughts. She felt insecure that he was having second thoughts about staying, he would have amazing directors and opporunities in LA right now.

"You should call and say you're coming in Januaury" she offered.

" No"

"Why would you do that?" she asked

"Rachel, I'm glad I stayed. I do love you" he promised "But what's up?" he asked, putting the car into park right in front of her house.

"I just" she paused, biting her lip, feeling too insecure. "Like what if you, no its ok" she stopped and put her hand on the door to leave.

"Rachel, tell me" he asked and she looked back.

"I dont like how close you are..." she paused.

"With Patricia? I don't like her. I mean I stayed back from UCLA for you, I'm not going to blow it on some co star"

"No, thats sweet but actually with Shelby" she finished and he looked at her.

"Oh" she nodded

"She's my mom and you know her better than I do" she confessed and sighed, continuing slowly, stressing each word. Contemplating it before she even said it. "I mean I know you were supposed to introduce us, but when I see you two together, I get this weird jealousy" she breathed, finishing, almost ashamed.

"Rachel, it's ok" he comforted. "It's fine"

"No, it's weird" she sighed, shaking her head.

"No, I mean" he began, trying again to get her to cheer up. "For instance, what if we found out that Shu was my father?" he asked.

"No surprise, you look alike, probably why I had a crush on him" she said before she could stop himself.

"Right" he continued without a beat. "Well I mean, you would be closer to him than I would. It's the bonds of glee club" he confessed and she nodded.

"I guess" she sighed.

"Hey, Shelby's mad at me lately anyway, you two will get closer, these things just take time" he assured and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow" he smiled and she nodded, pulling her jacket around her and stepping out of the car into the cold. She watched from the porch, under the cover from the rain as he drove away.

* * *

Have a few more chapters planned out.

Coming soon. Sorry for not updating faster.

Reviews make my day. So does St Berry.


	8. Not Some FlyByNight Broadway Romance

"So you and Jesse are together?" Patricia asked in the second week, on the tuesday of rehearsal. She hadn't mentioned it the day before.

"What?" Rachel asked, unsure of how to come with the direct question. "Um" she stuttered over the words but Jesse, on stage saw them taking off and headed towards them.

"Whats up?" he asked and Patricia smiled.

"Thought I was talking to your girlfriend, so either you just can't say no like a real man or Rachel doesn't know she's your girlfriend" Patricia breathed.

"We were keeping it on the down low for a while" Jesse responded.

"but not anymore?" Rachel asked, unaware of the change.

"Well no, if Shelby's director, she clearly knows." Jesse reasoned.

"Well thanks for telling me" Rachel said, ticked off.

"Sorry" Jesse breathed "I'm exhausted, Shelby made me come in sunday and work on every song about ten times, more than even needed since she's still cross. If I eat her and Beth's time with this show, she'll eat mine she said" Jesse breathed "and yesterday I stayed here until at least 9 pm. Not like I need it. " he confessed and Rachel smiled sympathetically.

"Well at least you still look good" she offered lightly and Jesse smiled. Patricia found the conduct too much for her and headed towards the stage away from them, with a sour expression on her face at the truth of their relationship.

"You could come over for dinner if you want" she offered and Jesse shook his head.

"Why dont you say you're having dinner with me and try to have a meal with Shelby?" he offered and she pulled him into a kiss, as he had offered exactly what she wanted.

The second week spun by, Shelby still at ends with Jesse as she became noticably tired and stressed. Jesse and Rachel could not be better, meeting everyday after rehearsals for bowling, or karoake or assorted ridicolous dates that she had set out for them. She gave him a starred name plate for a dressing room one of the days, and had a matching one naturally. Unfortunately, she wasn't going to have a dressing room for the run of the show. So she just fastened her name place onto his dressing room door, under his name.

One day they spent hours photoshopping cd cover jackets for a soundtrack featuring them and planned to go to a recording studio together. On the friday of the second week, Jesse said they should hold off seeing each other during the week, since she _did _have school and rehreasal and too much on her plate. She said she didn't care and that friday night was spent in the park, lying on their backs watching the stars. Like a montage of date activies from a ridicolous 80s teen romance, she had pointed out, but hadn't minded the slightest.

* * *

The third week of rehearsal fast approached and the most difficult for Rachel, as she had to promote the show in school. She dreaded avoiding Finn on the subject, though she had promised to put up posters around school, ones that said her name and Jesse's in big bold letters. Jesse's bigger than hers, much to her dismay.

She dreaded the jealousy she would face from Finn and then from Jesse and didn't let herself revel in how much she actually loved the attention. She had 4 extra tickets, as her fathers were invited as VIPS and Jesse had given her his tickets, since his parents were far away and far from caring about the show and couldn't come. Or just wouldn't. The only person he would invite was Shelby and there was no need to.

Rachel went to Glee on the wednesday of the third week of rehearsal, thrilled at the idea of opening in a week and a half. She knew everyone had noticed how joyful and happy she had been lately, how perfectly on pitch her singing had been and how through it all, she had been ridicolously stressed, now they would know why.

"It's for Sweeney Todd" She addressed the whole glee club. " I have four extra tickets for opening night next Friday"

"No one wants to go see some girly musical" Puck called from his seat next to Santana. "especially on a friday"

"Sweeney Todd" Kurt spoke up instantly, shooting Puck a disdainful expression. "Is about revenge and blood shed, It's a master piece similar to Titus Andronicus and it's one of the best musicals there is" he criticised and Mercedes spoke up. "It's the furthest you can get from girly"

"Wait, similar to that play where they bake people into pies? Hell to the no" she commented and Puck shouted his response.

"ILL GO" he yelled and Rachel smiled a too happy expression, coming forth up to the back row to hand him a ticket.

"I have three more" she offered.

"Ill go" Finn offered and she looked at him shocked.

"No, I don't think you'll like it" she answered back "any one else?"

"Rachel, it sounds awesome and gruesome and you're in it, I wanna go" he offered and she smiled sadly, handing him a ticket reluctantly.

"Any other takers?" she asked, but no one else cared enough to see her musical and she ended up giving the Opening night tickets to Mr Shu, who would take Emma along with him. Wondering if that would be a total disaster.

* * *

"We open in a week and a half!" Shelby yelled stressfully, watching _Joanna_ and _Anthony_ as they messed up their singing cues yet again. A stage hand popped up at her side.

"Miss Corchrin?" he asked cautiously " The guys from the dry cleaners are back with the costumes, their waiting in the costume room" he relayed and she sighed heavily. Jesse jumped up from his seat in the audience, (where he held Rachel's hand as they watched the other scenes )and onto the stage.

"I'll take care of it" he offered and she shook her head.

"I have to pay and handle it but I need to pick up Beth from daycare in ten minutes"

"So just pay them now" he reasoned and she shook her head.

"They need to rehearse the Miracle elixser coreography, the timing is sloppy"

"Show it to me, I can help them run it" He offered and she shook her head.

"Jesse, no" she commented and he sighed.

"Well how about you go pick up Beth, I deal with the costumes and Rachel handles the coregraphy?" he offered. She shook her head, still frustrated.

"They need my signature and my credit card."

"Then why don't I pick up Beth?" He asked cautiously and she nodded slowly, thinking over the opton and then smiled broadly, regaining her compsure.

"Fine, it's the only way" she nodded and he smiled

"Alright!" he beamed back.

"Why would you do all that?" she asked as Rachel hopped up on stage, after having heard her name.

"I got you into this mess" he responded and she smiled, handing him her car keys and pulling Rachel aside to teach her the coreography.

"Jesse-"Shelby began but he cut her off.

"I know, I'll use the seat, drive slow. She IS less than one" She smiled at him and nodded.

"Thanks" she mouthed and Rachel dreaded their connection growing again, she had just gotten to know Shelby.

"He'll make a great dad" Shelby said allowed more to herself than to anyone and Rachel couldn't help but smile at the concept. Yes, he certainly would.

* * *

The last week flew by, Jesse had no time to see Rachel outside of rehearsal, he was dedicating himself so intensely that she wished he would make time for her, but it was the ultimate Catch 22. She was so attracted to his dedication, after all. After picking up Beth, he and Shelby were on perfect terms again. He forced himself into harsh rehearsals, hours spent in solitude just singing or running lines, under no one's orders but his own ambitius ones. He auditioned for two more upcoming shows in that week, one a play and the other another musical, stopped by a show choir in the community center and then realized he was too good for it and, though he wouldn't tell Rachel, sat in Vocal Adrenline's glee rehearsal one day, filling in for the sick lead and giving clearly superior pointers.

* * *

Opening night quickly approached and Rachel paced her room, in about twenty minutes her dads would take her to the theatre, an hour before really needed, but she knew Jesse would already be there. He was hardly on the rocks with Shelby anymore, everything seemed perfectly mended in the last weeks since he had picked up Beth. Rachel hated their work ethic and their rewnewed closeness, but focused instead on her time spent with Shelby, relishing in the memories she now shared with her mother. She recalled belting Oklahoma songs with Shelby after rehearsals, or the dinners they had shared a few times and adored that Jesse had pushed her to make the effort, when his relationship had been failing with Shelby. Now that everything was patched up, things were back to normal and everyone was awaiting opening night and Jesse seemed to have forgotten that Rachel wanted to bond with Shelby.

"15 minutes" a stage hand instructed popped her head into the dressing room. Jesse flashed a smile and nodded. Rachel was in his dressing room, as the lead he had gotten one. She was slightly jealous but hadn't mentioned it, attributing it as her own as well, it did have a plaque with her name after all.

She sat on a table already in costume, swinging her legs back and forth, watching him put the final touches on his make up. He had grumbled how the make up artist was an amatuer stage hand who should be running the fly and keeping her hands off his star face, and afterwards taken it upon himself to adjust his make up.

"Excited?" he breathed, spinning around to face her away from the mirror.

"SO MUCH" She assured back, wanting to scream it, but they would be heard. The grumble of the audience filling in filled them with stomach churning excitment. He adjusted the dark circles around his eyes with an eyeliner pencil and nodded, pleased with it.

"Hold on, want to see if we're sold out" Jesse whispered, planting a quick kiss on her lips before stepping out of the dressing room. She laughed quietly, as he still had the eyeliner in his hand, but he seemed not to notice as he left.

The door clicked lightly behind him. Minutes past, too many minutes, she realized. She wondered why he was taking so long, but perhaps he was talking to Shelby or something.

She waited on the table, humming softly, knowing he was doing what she had done ten minutes ago, checking the crowd through the curtain. She didn't expect what happened next. He came into the room fuming with anger.

"This is going to be so great!" she cried, too much in her happiness to notice at first.

"Sure will" he answered back, sarcastically. He threw the eyeliner onto the dresser noisily, not caring that it made a black mark on the light brown wood.

"What's wrong, parents not here?" she asked

"They would never be. Cambodia's fascinating this time of year, I"m not. Just _another_ show" he snapped back

"Well superstar! You got me!" she assured.

"Funny, you've got Finn. Front row" He turned his back on her and started clamouring the make up items back into the bag, loudly and every movement with calculated anger.

"Funny?" she asked, jumping off the table and coming towards him slowly, cautiously, as if approaching a beast or a wild animal. "Don't make me sing Funny Girl" she whispered and he spun around. Her eyes read his and she knew this was serious, he was cross, very mad. To the point that acting together would be too real, his disdain and indifference to her all too real. Too painful and awkward to go through for two hours.

"We can't act like this, talk to me" she urged, reaching out and touching his shoulder. He shoved her hand off instantly and walked over towards a clothing rack holding the clothes he had changed out of.

"I don't want to" he repsonded

"Well the show deserves it"

"You haven't been listening to me. For months. And now you invite Finn. You don't tell me. You just want everyone to flatter you! To fawn over you. Rachel Berry, even jealous that I know your mother!" he snapped and she closed her eyes slowly at the insults. She breathed out slowly, trying to reason with him, but this was the last thing she needed on opening night.

"Puck's here too" she offered, trying not to notice how deep his insults burned. She pictured a reel of memories, his expression when he smashed the egg on her head and held in bitter tears. She didn't want to ruin her make up. She forced the unpleasant movie of memories out of her head, focusing on the feelings at hand.

"I knew you would leave me" she whispered.

"Stop trying to sabotage us!" he responded and a slow knock rapped on the door. Shelby popped her head in.

"Hey guys!" she beamed, her pre opening night stress gone. "On in ten"

"Rachel invited Finn" Jesse responded angrilly and Shelby gulped.

"Will you be ok?" she asked sympathetically. Rachel rolled her eyes that Shelby was on _his_ side.

"I'm professional" Jesse shot back, but Shelby sensed his pain and anger. "I just don't need this for opening night!"

"I'll delay as long as I can" she offered.

"No, I don't need it, I can go on" he snapped back and Shelby nodded, shutting the door behind her quietly.

"Look Jesse, It doesnt matter!" Rachel pleaded.

"He's here, isnt he! Didn't you invite him?" He contradicted.

"Yes, but he wanted to come and it-"

"Well you wouldn't want to upset him" Jesse snapped.

"-No, It doesn't mean anything!" she cried, desperate to make him understand.

"Then why keep it from me!" he snapped. "I don't want to do this Rachel, I'm going to run lines. I don't need this, not now. We'll talk about it after the show. Even if then." he confessed, walking past her, out the dressing room door. She sighed, deep in anger. If only he would understand. She was so scared to loose him, so scared of what she had started to feel. She wouldn't give up, she had to mend things before the stage. She headed out of the dressing room, hoping to find him and fix things in time.

She found him in 5 minutes, in a corner in the main dressing room where chattering costars all bustled, not noticing Jesse in the corner, mouthing the words to his songs as he clutched his knees in his arms, too focused. He looked as if he was mediatating, connected to god in the moments when he was in his character, in the zone of acting.

She came towards him and crouched down so they would meet eye to eye.

"Jesse, I listened to you, alright? So listen to me"

"You clearly don't care about me as much as you claim to. When you have Finn back, don't expect me to fawn all over you" he whispered bitterly, getting up and walking past her, back towards his own dressing room. She followed him quickly and held the door, stopping him from shutting it shut in her face. She came into the room, closing the door behind her. She kept her hands on the handle behind her, unsure of what to do. He leaned back against the dressing table with mirror but wouldn't look at her, not even in the mirror. Clearly hurt, he turned his head to the left but directed his words to her.

"Lets get this over with" he enunciated. She didn't know if he meant the fight or the relationship.

"Jesse, just listen to me. Stop being so damn dramatic-"

"-please" he clipped, looking at her with ironic sarcasm.

"SHUT UP, just listen! I dont care about Finn, I don't, it really doesn't matter!"

"Then why is he here! Why did you care enough to invite him!" eeringly calm, it upset her. She would've been fine if he was yelling, but he didn't want to waste his emotions, he could show those onstage, now he choose to be monotone, showing nothing, but she knew exactly what he was feeling.

"Cuz he wanted to go! I advertised it to glee club and only he and Puck wanted to go!"

"I bet you love that"

"Actually I really thought more people would want to" she said off handly and he laughed out loud.

"Poor Rachel" came the snide remark and she looked at him seriously.

"Jesse it doesn't matter" She looked to him desperately, coming closer to him. Feet away from him, trying to get him to understand. "I'm beyond caring if he's here, if he likes it. If he hates it. I didn't even see him in the crowd"

"You keep saying that, but I don't know what to trust"

"I've said it a hundred times, it's like a redudant lyric from a B list musical, it doesnt matter. _I seriously don't care"_

"Well how can I be sure!" he yelled back.

"Well I'm with you aren't I?" she asked him in a reasoning tone.

"I won you back, so..." he paused "He can to. You said once he was perfect for you" he responded slowly, diverting away from her gaze, transparent in her fear.

"Ya, maybe I did. " she whispered gently. "But he's not the one I'm in love with" she responded lightly. His head moved back to face her and his eyes met hers in a soft shock.

"What?" he asked blankly, blinking quickly, coming out of the shock of her words.

"I don't know when it happened, I was scared. Scared that you wouldn't love me anymore or something, I was going to tell you through song, but I couldn't find the right one, grease was bleh and...and I. Just." She paused, laughing uncomfortumbly, terrified. "I don't care about Finn, please believe me" she promised softly and he nodded slowly.

He breathed in deeply.

"Good" he whispered. "I don't care about Finn either" he smiled and she nodded slowly.

"Good" she smiled lightly. "I thought you could act. 90% is reacting, you haven't said anything" she pressed on, nervous in her tone.

"How's this for a reaction" he answered, grabbing her by the wrist towards him. He caught her mouth in his and she sunk into the kiss. She pulled away seconds later.

"You're so chessy" she commented "but I love it." she whispered, he just kissed her again in response. Softly at first, until the moment grew heated. They didn't react to the knock on the door and only stopped when Shelby spoke.

"I've got to stop walking in on this" she said aloud and Jesse pulled away from Rachel, blushing with embaressment.

"She loves me" he beamed "took her long enough" he smiled full of himself and she smacked her fist into his chest.

"ow" he joked and she smiled towards him with a teasing expression.

"Alright, stop!" Shelby instructed "I have kept the audience waiting 5 minutes longer than I should have. Thought you were fighting. Sweeney, get out there" she instructed.

"Can we have just _one minute?_" he asked and Shelby stared him down, arching her eyebrow.

"I thought you were professional, nothing ever distracted you from Vocal Adrenaline" she commented and he nodded, adjusting the lapels of his costumes.

"We can always make out after the show" he commented and Rachel flushed with an embaressed smile.

"See you out there" he turned to Rachel, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"Break a Leg" she responded.

"You too" he smiled. "Damn, If I wasn't such a good actor, it would be hard to pretend I just lost my family and only daughter"

"Stop bragging and get on stage!" Shelby responded "and tomorrow you will not be late!" she spoke after him as he walked towards the stage wings. Shelby and Rachel followed, thrilled with exctiment for different reasons. He spun around right before reaching the wings.

"Rachel, I still love you. And you made my _year_ by saying it back" he whispered in the darkness and turned on his heel and strutted out on stage.

* * *

"It was actually ok" Puck was saying at Rachel walked the next day. "I mean pie making and murder, almost drowned out the stupid music"

"Sounds disgusting" Santana commented at his side.

"Is rhubarb berry pie made of people?" Brittney interjected in a monotone voice and Santana stared at her blanky.

"So did you like it?" Rachel asked, rushing forward. "You are talking about it"

"Ya it was ok" Puck responded.

"I know what you mean, Joanna was high for all her notes" Rachel commented and Puck forced a smile to his face.

"Ya sure whatever, we're past it now" he responded and she nodded, taking a seat in the front row.

Finn was three seats away from her.

"I actually found the lead annoying" he said aloud and she smiled to him, he could tell it was a fake smile.

"Well he was brilliant" she responded. "You're not real rehearsed in _real_ scale production"

"You're clearly blind" Finn snapped back.

"by love" she responded "and our chemistry is amazing, we can sing together a whole new variaty of songs and he didn't dismiss my idea to have matching costumes for halloween. Oh and he can hold his notes."

Finn scoffed.

"He's just going to leave you. He hurt you so badly and you took him back, guess I'm still in shock" Finn responded and she smiled.

"Well a great show can do that to do" she offered back.

"He's not worth you" Finn offered "and he kept saying barber shop, pretty sure It's butcher shop."

"Finn, you're just jealous, I understand. He's the lead in a musical, he has me. You hate him, I get it. But you're not going to change my mind. Unless you have something constructive to say about the show, I won't listen"

"I think the star should go to university where he belongs" Finn snapped.

"Glad you enjoyed it" she answered back in an annoyingly bubbly tone before turning away from him and whipping out her phone to text Jesse as they waited for the rest of the glee participants.

* * *

She tried to push the fear of Jesse leaving away, it was months away after all. But Finn had reminded her and she came to the show that night, full of uncertainty and repressed anger. Jesse eased her anger easily, they laughed and joked, standing side by side a tthe mirror, taking in their own vain images and loving that their could share how full they were of themselves.

Opening night had come and gone, it had been thrilling, a super rush of emotion wheeling over the. Afterwards they had bounded off stage and he had picked Rachel up and spun her around, spinning in circles. It felt like something out of Grease or _Funny Face_ and when he finally put her down, they raced each other to his (_their, _as she would say) dressing room, where they collapsed with indescribably blissfull laughter. Not caring about the gross theatre carpet beneath them. Not caring about anything about the mass of people standing, clapping, cheering for them. Rachel could still hear the clapping in her ears hours after and had forgotten about her microphone mis hap ( sound's fault and not hers) the incorrect prop during the final scene (she didn't even bother to yell at the stage hands after) and whatever else had happened to go wrong during the show. It seemed perfect to her, she may have been blinded by love, but that was exciting on it's own, as well.

"So Puck _really _enjoyed the show" Rachel began, as she pursed her lips and looked into the mirror again. Jesse was flipping through his script, which lit up like a florescent christmas tree with highlighting, inditations and writing in a blue ball point pen everywhere. Constructive scribbles, but never doodles. Doodles were for boredorm, for doodlers, and he certainly gave theatre his all, there was no boredorm for him. He had the script memorised, but it was still a pre-show prop to help his nerves along.

"That's great" he responded, but he didn't honestly care and she knew it too. He hadn't even looked up from the script.

"I mean I hardly care about his opinion, but how could someone not love the show?" she pressed on and he nodded.

"Naturally, it is us" he responded, biting his tongue to inquire whether Finn liked it or not, whether she cared if Finn liked it or not.

"A match made in the casting room" she beamed with chessiness and he laughed lightly.

He shoved the uncertanity down and looked up from the script, she loved him after all, he might as well give her attention and stop worrying about how Finn feels and whether she cares or not. She had said herself, a near 20 times, she didn't care, and then, why should he?

He placed the script down and came towards her, taking her in his arms and just holding her.

"We'll be amazing tonight too" he assured and she smiled, sinking into his embrace.

"What are you doing after the show?" she muffled the question into his neck.

"Let's grab a bite and decide after, alright?" he asked, fingers playing strands of her hair.

They stayed like that for a long time, until they were signalled to the stage, they walked hand in hand wordlessly, each thinking about the night ahead but filled with anticipation and happiness for everything in their lives at the moment.

By the third encore, they were exhausted but ran out hand in hand, bowing to the applauding crowd brought to their feet. They erupted with energy, bouncing off the stage, towards _his _ dressing room.

"Did you feel the crowd tonight?" she exclaimed, shutting the door behind her and hopping up and down from excitement.

"Electric!" he hollared in return, already disrobing.

"I got chills!" she joked in return, making his comment a _Grease_ reference. He laughed, placing his costume as he undressed on the rack. She was beamed, hardly realizing what was happening, soaking in all the happiness and joy from the show.

He hung up the dress shirt and she clued in. Her eyes grew wide, realizing he was in fact in his boxers and spun towards the door.

"Jesse..." she muffled and he looked up.

"What?" he asked, not even realizing it was an issue.

"You're..." she glanced over her shoulder, but flushed red and faced the door. "I can wait outside" she assured and to her horror, he came closer.

"Rachel, we're actors" he assured, taking her hand and spinning her to face him. She was relieved to find he had put on his black jeans, but was still very shirtless.

"I know" she said with forced confidence. "I see shirtless people all the time, costume room mishaps, close coordinated" she claimed and he nodded, unsure if it was the truth.

"And in a relationship" he pressed on and she nodded.

"Right, I know" she laughed nervously.

"And we have been for _quite a few_ months" he kept speaking and she nodded, darting her eyes away from his, involuntarily checking him out. Her eyes shot back up to his in a flurry.

"So this shouldn't be a big deal"

"I just didn't expect..." she forced in a voice higher than her own. "it isn't"

"Good" he added, stepping slightly closer to her, both his hands holding her hand now. She felt her heart beat increase, she was aware she was still a embaressing shade of pink on her cheeks, perhaps one that would have seen littering a bridal shower. Bright, horribly embaressing pink.

"Perfect" she forced the word out and he nodded, never breaking her gaze. She chuckled nervously.

Before she knew what happened, his hand was on her neck and had pulled her into a kiss. Her eyes flashed open with shock at the action, but she closed them slowly and sunk into his embrace, her hands gliding over the cold warm skin of his body, holding onto him tightly as their kiss deepened, grew in electric passion. She could feel his hands slowly untying the corset that was part of her costume's dress.

* * *

Outside in the theatre lobby, Finn Hudson waited for Rachel Berry. He had sat through a second performance of the show for her after all and he felt he needed to give her congratulations. Had to apologize for his anger in the past days, maybe they could be friends. And then maybe he could win her back. So he waited.


	9. Love Me  That's All I Ask Of You

Rachel hugged her star covered sheet music folder to her chest, walking down the crowded halls, heading towards the auditorium. She couldn't stand to get slushy on these songs.

"Great job the other day" she could've sworn she heard someone say to her and her face flushed with a smile. She was a star after all. Perhaps she had just heard it, but she didn't think that for a second.

"Hey!" she heard Finn's voice behind her, but kept going. He reached her as she came up to the auditorium door and he followed her in.

"Finn, I want to rehearse" she started, not facing him as she walked towards the stage. The house lights were up, an effect she hated, but had to deal with.

"I need to talk to you" Finn urged and she rolled her eyes, but didn't oppress him. She didn't want to deal with more drama, not after last night. She climbed the stairs to the stage slowly, he followed. She placed her sheet music on the piano, arranging the songs she wanted to practice.

"I have to apologize. I was horrible about the other day, in glee club. Just pissed about you and him I guess" he forced the words out quickly.

"Well, I understand and thank you" she nodded, hardly acknowledging him. But loving the attention and wondering why he still liked her, why he still even cared. "But what are you going to do? Sing Jesse's girl to me again? I'm with him..."

"I sat through last night performance for you and then waited in the lobby for like an hour. I must have missed you" he continued, brushing past the insult.

"I didn't leave for ages" she spat out before she could help it and then wished she could take the words back.

"Really? Rehearsing?" he kept pushing and she sighed, shaking her head.

"No. Jesse and I were" she paused "busy, if you know what I mean" she let the thought linger. "I mean I always knew my first time would be in a theatre, I just never expect-"

"What?" Finn stopped her

"What?" she asked in return.

"I thought you and him" he forced the words out "last year"

Finn waited and specified. "before he joined"

"We.." she began but shook her head. "No we didn't" she confessed and he looked at her enraged.

"What the hell Rachel! Is anything you say true?"

"I wanted you to care! I wanted you to want me!" she said, hating that he didn't get the Cheap Trick reference, Jesse would have.

"By saying you... I can't even! You lied to me all summer?"

"It was stupid, but I wanted you to be jealous _at the time!"_

"Well I care now"

"You always were bad with timing"

"I guess I never knew how good of a liar you were"

"Ya well we _totally_ did it this time!" She yelled in return as he hopped of the stage, towards the exit. She wanted to hurt him. "Totally!" she stressed and he spun around to face her, walking towards the exit backwards.

"You expect me to believe that?" he hollered before turning back to the door, just in time to hit it with his head. "ow" he blundered before the door opened and slammed shut. Rachel was left alone. She placed sheet music down in front of the piano, she headed towards center stage, waiting for the person accompanying her on the piano to take his seat, then she started singing "I Started a Joke" in a soft soprano.

_"I started a joke. Which started the whole world crying._

_But I didn't see that the joke was on me._

_Oh, no, I started to cry. Which started the whole world laughing._

_Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me."_

* * *

The stress was high for closing night. Everyone was in deep concentration, ten fold for the stars who were always in deep concentration. Jesse and Rachel sat side by side each other, but barely seemed to notice each other. He was mouthing his lines and she had her eyes closed, almost meditating on the scenes, trying to picture each one, expecting everything to go right. They hadn't spoken since they'd arrived, just greeted with a kiss and held hands, walking to his dressing room, each with a load on their minds.

The show ended tremendously well, astounding success, 4 encores, crowd brought to their feet and after wards, the stars came out to greet the fans. Rachel was lost behind her dads and compliments from Shu ( who had seen opening and closing nights) while Jesse was lost in praise from townsfolk, children, professors, scouts, anyone but family.

After all the actors pilled together, got dressed and headed towards the restaurant for the cast party. Jesse and Rachel held back from the crowd, holding hands and walking slowly. They had barely spoken all day and though Rachel was still ecstatic, she was too busy to notice a change in Jesse.

"It was decent" he commented gruffly.

"What do you mean?" she asked and he shook his head.

"I don't want to get into it"

"Talk to me" she urged, not expecting what came next.

"The audience was crap, it was horrible. It was like performing for children, the judge was off tone in every line, I swear my mike went out 4 times, I mean if I didn't have such a strong voice... it just" he was exaggerating, but not even noticing it. Everything had seemed to go wrong.

"You didn't have a good show?" she asked, in shock.

"Did you? This isn't worth us. Everything was better for My Fair Lady and that was ALSO community theatre. Abominable"

"Well this was perfect for me and you didn't have ME in My Fair Lady!" she countered.

"Rachel, I told you, I don't want to get into this"

"You still think you're better than me!" she responded in shock "that's what this is!"

"No!" he responded, but she knew it was a lie. "Fine, well can you blame me?" he asked

"Jesse! You weren't supposed to say yes!" she looked at him shocked.

"It was just a bad show! Not worthy of me!"

"What about me? Worthy of me?" she asked.

"God, Rachel it's not always about you" he snapped. "We're not even competition!" he countered.

"Well, I'm sorry, but we were!" she yelled exasperated. They let go hands in the street, the restaurant a few blocks from their current location. They had stopped walking a few moments back and had lost the crowd of excited actors, eager for their closing night pizza.

"Is this what this is all about?" he asked slowly "Regionals?" he asked

"We haven't talked about it" she sighed and he nodded.

"I know" he commented "but I'm not your competition now"

"But you were! And you hurt me and you won! And you think you're better than me because of it! I found out that you've been helping with Vocal Adrenaline these days! Shelby told me. I thought, no It can't be true. Jesse would never do that! But of course it is! So don't say you're not my competition and don't you dare say you've changed!" she hollered, starting to walk away from him.

"Rachel!" he hollered after her, but it was no use. It was their biggest issue, the one that had festered and been ignored for so long, finally come surging forward on what should have been their happiest day.

* * *

Following glee club on the next monday, Rachel flew out of glee, not stopping to comment to Shu about song choice or force her opinions on the rest of the group. She ran with invisible tears in her eyes headed to the auditorium to sing her heart out.

Finn followed and stood in the door way, unseen, watching the heartfelt "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benetar and knew for certain that Jesse was out of the picture.

_"You're the right kind of sinner to release my inner fantasies_

_The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to be_

_You're a heartbreaker, dreammaker,_

_Love-taker, don't you mess around with me_

_You're a heartbreaker, dreammaker,_

_Love-taker, don't you mess around, no no no"_

He felt sadness and yet a sense of victory at this, but couldn't bring himself to approach and comfort her, not yet.

* * *

The next day she met Jesse at his place. She had 17 missed calls from him and picked up the next time he called and somehow agreed to meet for dinner. To talk.

He prepared dinner (take out) and they sat around a candle lit table before the fighting began again.

"I don't see why you had to belittle my experience with the show" she snapped, grabbing a spring roll from the middle serving bowl.

"You can't surely have thought that was a good closing night" he reasoned.

"Well, your Sweeney was off" she responded harshly. "That's why."

"You can't play every role Rachel" he responded crisply, grabbing a fortune cookie and cracking it open. He didn't bother to read it and just started eating the cookie.

"I'm sorry I'm high maintenance!" she said back, without sounding sorry at all.

"You can't be the star of everything" he concluded lightly, not even hearing her comment.

"So you act like you're better than me?" she responded bitterly.

"You can't be jealous. It's not like we even compete for roles! We're different genders!"

"I shouldn't feel like I'm less than my boyfriend!"

"Do you want me to apologize for Regionals or something?" he asked back and she shook her head, standing.

"It's not like you would" she responded and he shook his head, sighing lightly, knowing she was right. "I should leave" she added "Thanks for dinner"

"Look, we both have a need to be stars"

"Well maybe it's getting in the way of our relationship" she responded, trying to hold back tears. He heard the front door close moments later and stood up, starting to clean the remains of dinner, frustrated and unsure of how to continue.

* * *

The following month was uncomfortable. Rachel treated it as a small break up or something of the sort and sobbed for hours, confided in Mr Shu. Jesse and her only spoke once in a while, not about the important things. They tried to have dates over the month, but it was no use, until they talked about it, there was no going back to how they had been. The end of November came and went and by the middle of December, they were too caught up in other things to take the time to mend their relationship. They still considered themselves together, but it was so far from real, they didn't even share anything anymore. Jesse was flown to Asia for a break, with his parents and stayed until mid January, much to Rachel's shock and surprise. She spent Christmas and New Years alone and when school started up again was a total and complete wreck. Finn wanted to reach out to her, but didn't want to hear about Jesse, so she was utterly and completely alone. She felt horrible, lost and if she told anyone in glee would get you "I told you so" stares, which she couldn't bear. So she kept it lost inside.

January 19th, Jesse came back from Bali or Laos, or wherever it was he had gone and knew he had to make things right. He decided not to show up to her school during glee club and instead waited outside with his car. She came out with Kurt and Mercedes, all discussing their recent assignment. She stopped in her tracks. Kurt shot Jesse a strange look and Mercedes scoffed lightly before they linked arm in arm and headed off in another direction, resuming conversation easily.

"Hey" Jesse began lightly. Rachel nodded in response to his word.

"Just listen, please" he asked and she made no movement to run away or scream or even respond, so he proceeded as he had planned.

He took his phone out of his pocket, clicked a few buttons and placed it on the hood of his car. Within seconds, music started and Jesse began to sing along to the instrumental accompaniment. Finn came out of the school doors just as the song began. Finn rolled his eyes and walked past the scene quickly, dreading that he hadn't made his move but knowing he didn't deserve to be cheated on again, to have felt the way he did. He needed to move on, and Rachel was completely content with her drama. Finn made up at that moment that he was over Rachel Berry, or had to make sure he was soon. He sauntered off, hearing Jesse's voice in the bad acoustic of the parking lot.

_"Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died_

_give me, give me one more chance_

_to keep you satisfied, satisfied"_

Rachel smiled at the Elvis classic especially at the chorus _"You were always on my mind"_ and already made up her mind, somehow to forgive him. It hurt too much to miss him and too much more to be mad at him. She wanted to join in and make it a duet, but she would make sure things would be different this time, that they would last and glee club wouldn't be their problem.

Jesse finished the song easily and Rachel couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry I keep messing up" he answered "and we're both so talented it makes our relationship hard, we challenge each other" he commented and she nodded. "That is if you still want to be in a relationship"

"We haven't spoken for months!" she countered

"I know, but you didn't contact me either" he added lightly.

"I didn't have to apologize! You take whatever I've done, whatever I'm excited about and demean it, make it seem like it's not worth of you, that I'm not worth of you" she sighed deeply. "And I love you, but you have broken my heart"

"I know I'll make mistakes, but we belong together" he pleaded

"We do put up with each other's crazy" she commented, nodding. "But I don't know if I can do it Jesse! How do I know you won't think that you're better than me or just leave and ditch me for another show or another country or university?"

"because I gave up a little piece of my dream to be with you. I've never done that, for anyone" he whispered back "doesn't that count?"

"It did, but now..." she protested and he nodded.

"Look I know. But I was feeling bad, I was wishing I could have both you and UCLA, I was out of line. Dreading the show to be over, dreading change. The thing is, we do have to talk about regionals. But that was a different person, that was before I knew I was in love with you, that was before the real us. That was Jesse st Jerk."

"You can't have a thousand second chances, it's only a SECOND chance for a reason" she countered

"I know, but I did prepare another song and another to serenade you with until you realized how much I love you"

"You can't just talk about the sacrifices you make to get me back, but show me with your actions"

"I'm serenading you!" he countered. "Doesn't that prove that I'm not a soulless auto-matron anymore?"

"You can't keep doing this, these way back into love songs."

"Why because they wear you down?" he asked honestly.

"Their not fair, we have to talk!" she shot back and he nodded, trying to be truthful.

"Look Rachel, I can't promise you change, but I can promise drama, adventure, tears, love and you know what, when we sit down one day and do the whole 'how i met your mother' speech, we'll have a hell of a story to tell. I'm crazy about you, but I'm also a bit crazy when it comes to love." he paused before truth surged out in his words "I'm not good at it"

"Well, then maybe someday you'll have both me and UCLA" she rationed.

"I hope" he added, with too much hope in his tone.

"But for today, you're just going to have to deal with just having me. It has to be enough."

"You'll take me back?" he asked and she nodded.

"Well, a girl's gotta have someone to sing with, and I'm kinda a little bit in love with you"

"I missed you" he confessed with a soft smile.

"I know I'm high maintenance, but things have to change!" she ordered and he nodded.

"I missed your voice, your hair, your crazy fashion...

"keep going" she smiled lightly.

He brought her into a hug, brushing his lips lightly against her forehead and continued complimenting her until she had three missed calls from her dads for dinner.

* * *

They stayed up nights in his place, cuddling under the covers and making promises of dreams. He would take her to prom, they would spend the summer together, at the carnival, winning karaoke competitions, flying to LA and seeing a show ( that's when they would say goodbye). He would cheer for her at Regionals, applaud her. He had said Vocal Adrenaline wasn't right anymore, not without Shelby. Rachel had interjected Shelby should join Mackinley, but knew it would never happen. They held each other tight and dreamed of stardom together and fell asleep in each other's arms.

He took her to prom and danced with her in his arms, not caring what the rest of the school thought. They went swimming in the summer, biking, singing down the streets, belting songs before running off, acting just as they were, silly teenagers in love.

Then it seemed to spring out of no where and he was leaving in a week's time for university and she was terrified of losing him. They had been near perfect since January, practicing, singing, being lost in love for the past months. Spending nights at his place, romantic dinners, everything she could have wanted.

Rachel was on the stage. There was a spot light on her and she had tears in her eyes.

"Look I know you have to leave. Don't say you wont. I will not let you defer your dream another year. It'll ruin you and then it'll ruin us. So just listen to this song and remember that when you're on stage next year and there are a thousand cheering college girls, just remember ME" she finished her monologue, wiping a quick tear.

She started singing. "Love will keep us together" stressing the first verse.

_Love, Love will keep us together_

_Think of me babe whenever_

_Some sweet talkin' girl comes along singin' his song_

_Don't mess around,_

_You just got to be strong_

_Just Stop, 'cause I really love You_

_Stop, I'll be thinking of you_

_Look in my heart and let love keep us together_

She looked up at the end of the song and he jumped up on stage and hugged her tight.

"I love how dramatic you are" he laughed loudly, holding her tight.

"My turn" he instructed and she nodded with a tearful chuckle, talking his seat in the audience. He beamed at her from the spotlight and she smile brightly.

"This is for you" he began to sing "Ain't no Sunshine." She came back up on the stage and held him tight. Murmuring something he couldn't make out, it was something along the lines of Im going to miss you so much.

They spent every moment of the last week together, with promises for the next year, their long distance. He said they could survive anything, a year would be hard and horrible, but they could do it.

* * *

He held her tight in the airport, humming "Ill be seeing you" as her plane started to board. People piled behind them in a line, but they held on, as if the song was on repeat, swaying slowly to the music, not caring that there were salty tears all over the place, just together in perfect harmony.

"I'm going to miss you so much" she mumbled against the soft cotton of his sweater.

"You're just jealous" he tried to laugh but she shook her head and nodded right after.

"I am! But UCLA better watch out for me" she smiled weakly, tears everywhere "but I have to win another year for glee"

"they couldn't do without you" he assured and she smiled, falling into his arms again and mumbling his name softly against his neck. Holding on, as if she would never ever let go.

"I don't know how I'm going to do without you" he murmured softly, cueing another onrush of tears from her eyes that he loved so much. He pulled her into a salty, sweet goodbye kiss and she shook her head. Trying to be light, trying to not think of the goodbye, but loving the dramatic effect of it all at the same time.

"Thanksgiving" she whispered and he nodded, a lump caught in his throat, words lost. He repeated the lyrics of the song they had been humming moments ago, on repeat.

"Ill be seeing you" he whispered and she nodded, wondering it if was the truth at all.

_"We go together like_  
_rama lama lama_  
_ke ding a de dinga a dong_  
_remembered for ever "_ she muttered the Grease lyrics back before finally pulling away. They smiled weakly at each other, trying to laugh at how _sad _they looked. Only gruff sad noises came out instead.

"I love you Berry" he smiled lightly, kissing her on the forehead before letting go of her hand. She said nothing more, nodding with niagara falls running down her face. She turned towards the line, holding her passport tight against her chest, wondering if they never had anything else, how perfect and dramatic and life-like their year had been.

He turned away from the airport line and her. He couldn't bear to watch her leave.

* * *

He promised to visit at Christmas, she at Thanksgiving. They would skype, text, keep in touch. They did everything they promised, all that.

At Christmas he gave her his key and when she finally joined him at UCLA in May ( opting to do a summer term before hand, to be with him and to get "ahead of the game") they moved in together. They landed lead after lead, usually picking different musicals, so their egos wouldn't collide. Sometimes they were the stars together, but most nights they would come home after rehearsal and confide in each other's arms, complaining, recalling the day or singing while making dinner. They had become unstoppable. They would be, for what seemed like forever. They would win tony awards together, star in musicals together, praise each other's work, drive each other insane with jealousy, consult costumes, dance to Hello at their wedding. Then spend wild nights remembering how they fell in love with candlelight and soft music playing in the background as they lay together in their bed. They would be together forever and all the drama, all the fear and hate and broken hearts would be worth _forever._

-end.


End file.
